Your hugs heal my breaking heart
Only temporarily, for once I see you hug another
It once again tears apart
I question my warm feelings…
We’re only friends, yet you fascinate me
To the point that I wonder if that’s all we really are.
I cherish our laughter, our quirky remarks
But do you lavish the intrepid beauty of others instead?
Am I nothing, if not the awkward girl you laugh with, when they’re gone…?
But then, am I more special than they?
More than a face, two breasts, and hips?
More than a quick pleasure in-between your sheets?
Or is that all you truly cherish…?
I am bound again, just as they said I was
It's clear and beautiful blue hue becomes forever cloudy
A bird's chirps become distorted by the rain and thunder's cries
I walk alone the path of the river
Alone accompanied by my footprints only
Till the crow comes to bring yet another question
This I can't ignore, for the world will shiver
And the steam shall arise from my next decision
and the never's and forever's again will pour the air
I hope to hold on to whatever is left
The sun can tell another day, to become my true vision
You're still lost within the time
The ultimate crime
That you couldn't really hurt
but now you're gone and just inert
You try to find meaning in the days
That it wasn't just a phase
That you could just lay in the sun
and never say you jumped the gun
and you lie wide awake at night
Hard at thought, ready to write
You wrote on a piece of paper "I think this time, I'll be okay"
But you don't really know, your thoughts never stay
Gone and running in an irreversible tension
And 10,000 miles left in question
Of ideas we just forget to mention
And the thoughts are left in the dark and disappear
and in comes walking, the unavoidable fear
A unknown direction, a road we somehow got sucked in to steer
Trying to take calm within the unpredictable shadows
Take control of your senses and dodge your arrows
and forget all of the anxiousness that somehow follows
If I am to lose these eyes
Strip me then now of these lies
Take me to this darkness wonder
In harmony of the black of slumber
Forever to stay shut, anchored in a sea under
and yet though, I do not believe in such thunder
You can take me away from one thing
But I will find a way to still chirp and sing
You can take my legs and swallow love's promised ring
But I'll still find a way to flap a broken wing
And if I am to die..?
I can walk away, with open eyes.
A graveyard of dead trees
Fallen leaves of vast red and orange seas
Squirrels scurry before winter strikes
As children play while others pass on bikes
A harmony of the trees an the wind come together and sing
As a bird chirps then stops to clean it's wing
Children shrieking and screaming as they play
Angry armies of cars roar past, then fly away
Memories start of when I was a kid
Only broken away by time an what it did
Sitting still only in question
Of who I am and to what is my impression
I laughed . . . I played here
I was happy unknown of fear
But then reality again breaks memory's connection
Only to be lost again, still unknown of my reflection
I found a girl, and saw her perspective
Silent, yet surprisingly reflective
They claimed she was away, entirely defective
But I knew otherwise just from the look in her eyes
I saw through the silent, and closed off disguise
And from there, I saw the immediate connection
Completely dissected, but still searches for true affection
Her warm, yet crooked emotion
A calmed, yet broken devotion
Silent, but struggling for her sound
and yet, still not a face found
Her skin torn, gone and rotten.
Her mouth stolen, words lost, ignored and forgotten.
She was exposed to all of the morbid things
Corrupted lies, and uneven broken wings
All she wanted to know if happiness was true
This is what I saw, this was the girl I knew
And she left sudden, without a word,
Her existence she seen was too blurred
Before I could realize, she was gone and done
Did you ever wonder what life can become?
All she wanted to know if happiness was true
This is what I saw, this was the girl I knew..
I walk endless an road
locked into a heavy load
Of these questions and fears
Gripping from it's unreasonable tears
As a car roars by
I look dead into it's light
Wondering where it leads
But just like that it's gone
just like another day
As I wake up to the sun's harsh light
I try not to look back
As I attempt to fill this crack
Of this hurt and wonder
Unstoppable, a storm of rain and thunder
As a car roars by
I look dead into it's light
Wondering where it leads
But just like that it's gone
just like another night
As I stay up to the moon's hypnotic might
I feel like every single thing is like a mind game, played and laid out for me
I can't feel a single thing, like I'm not blind, but I still can't see
What is it really? Perhaps it's not that important?
Tell me what it is, or is it just my own comportment?
I have walked in the very things I've looked down upon
What I once thought was selfish, now I too am wrong
and now there is blood all over my hand
But I have no idea why, I just don't understand
This is a complication called the human mind
Irony, double standards, hypocrisy, A place to be so blind
To wallow and loop in this thick puddle of shame
For the mistakes commited, I fairly wore the blame
Knowing is the beginning is something I suppose
It's better to learn, rather than to find it to oppose.
So I guess I'll take my feelings and throw them to the floor
I'll leave you where you originally were, trapped inside a closed door
And you can echo your goodbyes
as you embrace yourself to the ink of sheer ignorance and sighs..