Herding the sheep
Don't make a peep
Isn't this all so perfect?
No time to weep
Just go to sleep
And soon this dream you'll forget
Now that I have you attention
You have no choice but to listen
-Just do as you were told
Sometimes it's best not to know
Just hang your head and follow
I'll give you my hand to hold
As we enter the unknown - chorus
Culling the weak
People are freaks
This fucked up world makes no sense
Force fed deceit
Better not speak
There's no way to make amends
Now that I have your attention
You have no choice but to listen
-chorus-
So here I go now
To the unknown
I won't be alone now
If you'll follow
-chorus-
11-27-22
It's been a while since I've seen you, been a while since I've heard from you.
Your face is the one thing I can still see, and your voice is the one thing I can still hear.
Mentally, I saw you walking, but you passed me, and didn't notice I was there.
I tried to call out to you, but you didn't hear me.
Once, I thought I loved you, everyone else seemed to think I did too.
But all I felt went away very quickly, like I knew it would.
When I met you, I was happy, we talked almost always, and it was great having someone to talk to.
You were there, when he wasn't.
I appreciate and love you for that.
I've tried to picture what it would be like if I was with you, what it would be like if I was yours instead of his.
Would I be happier? Would I experience what I'm not right now?
So many questions, and so many answers which I haven't found.
Everytime I am alone, I feel some sort of sadness, some sort of emptyness.
Not that it completely has to do with you or him, but I think more to do with the loneliness I've been living with.
Making myself believe things could be different every time I find someone new.
But, you know how it goes, and how its gone for me.
How to walk away from something seems easy, but sometimes, people struggle even when they know they have to let go.
Being with someone new is something I almost don't want to do again.
I don't want to tell anyone else stories of my past, and how I once was.
I don't want to do things and not keep it to myself.
I've always been a quiet and reserved girl, I've always been you could say, overly careful about who I allow to touch me.
Doing things with him, I grew comfortable with, and something I became okay with.
Doing things with you, I've questioned, and thought of, something I would've had to grow comfortable and okay with.
Could I ever do things with you, can I see myself doing things with you, and would I ever see and hear you again........but this time, for real?
I look at how other girls live their lives, and sometimes think of how they handle being physical.
How do they allow themselves to give their all to one guy, and then another after some time has passed?
is there never any regret? Is there never any fear and doubt?
Where does the trust comfort and idea of being okay with it come from?
If things go wrong, how are they able to allow themselves to do it again, and with someone else who isn't meant to be their someone?
And off the topic I wonder, how was someone like you, able to seemingly fall for me?
I am a damaged broken record you see.
What is there to possibly like about me, how can one like me, and why?
Even after trying to be with someone for 5 years, I still don't know why he chose me........but then there's you.
Why did you pick me? why havent you given up? Why do you still wish to have me?
What is there, aside from the reason to do with my body, to like about a woman like me?
There, there in the graveyard was Silence,
No, not Peace, just not Violence.
Anger and Torment had left, but Silence had remained,
For what had happened, only Silence had been gained.
Silence had hung around,
Just hanging there, starring at the ground.
Silence was not old, but was among them now,
Silence was there, tied to the bough.
Poems are the path to inner peace.
You're still lost within the time
The ultimate crime
That you couldn't really hurt
but now you're gone and just inert
You try to find meaning in the days
That it wasn't just a phase
That you could just lay in the sun
and never say you jumped the gun
and you lie wide awake at night
Hard at thought, ready to write
You wrote on a piece of paper "I think this time, I'll be okay"
But you don't really know, your thoughts never stay
Gone and running in an irreversible tension
And 10,000 miles left in question
Of ideas we just forget to mention
And the thoughts are left in the dark and disappear
and in comes walking, the unavoidable fear
A unknown direction, a road we somehow got sucked in to steer
Trying to take calm within the unpredictable shadows
Take control of your senses and dodge your arrows
and forget all of the anxiousness that somehow follows
A graveyard of dead trees
Fallen leaves of vast red and orange seas
Squirrels scurry before winter strikes
As children play while others pass on bikes
A harmony of the trees an the wind come together and sing
As a bird chirps then stops to clean it's wing
Children shrieking and screaming as they play
Angry armies of cars roar past, then fly away
Memories start of when I was a kid
Only broken away by time an what it did
Sitting still only in question
Of who I am and to what is my impression
I laughed . . . I played here
I was happy unknown of fear
But then reality again breaks memory's connection
Only to be lost again, still unknown of my reflection
Once was a
free-spirited child.
I ran on all fours
like Spirit* and Rain*,
galloping through the grass,
soaring over sidewalks.
Once I was a
free-spirited child.
I could run around naked
without a care in the world.
Once I was a
free-spirited child.
The world was mine,
and I was invincible!
Once I was a
free-spirited child.
But now, I am....
I have an unknown friend, who lives in the sky
Why I question him, I do not know why
I should not go to look for him, they say
But I know he'll want to look for me someday
I wonder, I ponder, even as I sleep
I dare not awake, for I have gone too deep
But again, the sun calls to another abrupt wake
Alone again, to find an answer for my sake
I take another step foward, for this I will fight
Forever wrapped in this question, how it echoes through the burning light