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Disappear,

Like the vapour,

Return to my life?

No,

Never!

 November.30.2003

 Trisha Barrek Hopkins

I wish you would die 

And go to hell

Everything that comes out of your mouth

I can't believe because it's just a lie

To your face I wish I could tell

"I hate you" 

Because you're to me no longer real

You are not true

And towards you nothing is what I feel

You try to command

But get mad when I don't obey

I don't know why you can't understand

On what I'm trying to say

For you to just shut up and listen

Is what I demand

I'm not a little girl with the shine in her eye

My eyes no longer glisten

I ask one thing of you "Just disappear, Just die"

In the war no longer you are

That was your past

Way back so far

So stop letting the memory last

Stop in my eyes trying to be this star

I honestly don't care

Your life I don't want to be in 

My life with you I don't want to share

Keep trying to control me and my love you won't win

Just disappear

The way you were brought up don't pass on to me 

I won't listen I don't care

God from his life set me free

Just die

When I'm finally rid of this prisonment

Then I will beable to happily cry

Untill then in this depression I am sent

This hatered for you I won't lie

Is beyond deep

And this passion of wanting you gone

It's hauntingly steep

These past couple of months

You have been doing things that make me sick 

Make me ill

I wish God could of made a better pick

But I'm stuck with you 

You think your all that and slick

Well the only thing you are is fake

No where being true

Through your heart will be a wooden stake

God let this ass get his own life

And leave mine alone

Because no matter what I do It's never right It's always wrong

Get it over with.... turn me to stone

So in this life here I won't spend so long

So get it into your mind

There is nothing you can do

Some how some way my own life I will find

So always remember when I'm gone

"I hated you"

 September.28.2003

 Trisha Barrek Hopkins

I wish you would move on 

And leave me alone

I can't stand looking at your face

I can't stand the way you act in disgrace

You're not a man

You're nothing at all

So stop trying to stand tall

Like you did something great 

Because everything about you I hate

I want you to disappear

Get out of our lives

Vanish into thin air

Just don't come back here 

Your presence I can't stand being near 

Because nothing about you I care

In hell you belong

Everything about you is wrong 

So rot away

So I can live my life

My way day by day

Without stepping on eggshells

Nothing more to you I have to say

Finally off your high horse you fell

Never seeing you again I pray

Copyright

 October.5.2000

 Trisha Barrek Hopkins

I wish you would just disappear

From my life

And never come back never reappear

I dont care how you go 

Use a pill or even a knife

Give me my freedom

Let me learn wrong from right 

Give me a chance

To make my own mistakes 

I really don't want to fight

Be real stop being fake

How dare you kick me out 

With just a shirt and pants

With all your yelling

There's no need to shout 

I hate your attitude

I hate the way you treat me 

I hate when you change your mood

Why can't you see

Your always rude

Just let me free

You look stupid the way you stand 

All tough and Mr. big shot

You think your the boss the man

But your ugly

Your head steamin your attitude hot 

Let me do what I want to do 

To go where I want to go 

To get away from you 

To see people you don't know 

Do me a favor

Just disappear

I don't care go away

With a stupid razor

It's your face I don't want to see

And your voice I never again want to hear

Just let me free

Don't give me that stupid stare

Let me be me 

You made my life rough

The world let me explore 

Why can't you see

I had enough

I don't want your attitude anymore 

Copyright

 October.15.2004

 Trisha Barrek Hopkins

I wish I was stronger

But no matter how hard I try

My wishlist not to igsist just gets longer

More and more I'm left alone to cry

In the late hours of the night 

Deep inside no one sees the pain

That I try so hard to fight

The only way to go on is to fill my eyes

With these salty tears

But all I really gain

A blurred vision when I look to the light

Can God not see

I'm so tired and sick of feeling so alone

I guess not because he just lets me be 

And eachday my heart becomes more hollow inside

It becomes all stone

This path of pain I am meant to follow 

From it I can not hide

And deeper I go into this evil shadow

Because no man shows they care

I just do not want to feel anymore

I have no strength to fight

The demons that drag me to the floor 

The pain and hurt inside my heart

They try to store 

It's trying so hard to make me die

And some days I wish I would 

I no longer want to try

Yes I know I still should 

But everyday a piece of me disappears

And is gone forever 

I try to scream out"help" to someone 

But it seems like no one hears

And the light is fading from the sun

This evil has put a spell on peoples ears

No one hears my helping plea

This evil has made people blind

So no one can see me 

Try to fight as I try to find 

A way to stop these wounds

So they no longer bleed

But the evil trys so hard

To make me fail

On my pain he loves to feed

I am becoming too weak to go on 

But no one will help with the fight 

So I should just give up and die 

Just disappear fade out sight

As I sit alone and powerless as I cry

As my soul drifts away

From my body it once knew

No longer fighting another day

My days are bitter darkness

No longer a happy clear blue sky

My lifes such a mess

I gave up I try no longer to live

This evil my soul I give

I just sit here in emptiness

I wait to die

I sit and watch my life pass me 

As I hear my last word spoken

It's loud and clear

I'm not in any fear

I'm fine as I can be 

To say my good-bye

The evil keeps my pain as a token

The tear I cry

My heart is so broken

And I no longer know the word

Or the meaning of the fight 

I don't even try

To keep my soul in my sight

Copyright

September-28-2000 
Trisha M. Barrek Hopkins

As the land beneath me disappears 
And all that is left is space 
I start to ask myself if anyone really cares 
I cant help but to beat myself at my own race

2 POEMS

-saiom shriver-

*

HUMANE SOCIETY DISCONNECT
*

How many humane societies

have fundraisers

in which they serve mammal

bird and fish flesh

to raise money to prevent

animal suffering?

 

They love the animals

they know… but not yet

the cows, pigs, sheep,

chickens, turkeys, and

fishes with whom they

don’t interact.

- s shriver-

https://www.goodnewsclinics.org/fullpanel/uploads/files/fundraiser.gif

*

Gone and running in an irreversible tension
And 10,000 miles left in question
Of ideas we just forget to mention

And the thoughts are left in the dark and disappear
and in comes walking, the unavoidable fear
A unknown direction, a road we somehow got sucked in to steer

Trying to take calm within the unpredictable shadows
Take control of your senses and dodge your arrows
and forget all of the anxiousness that somehow follows

I am a shadow, long gone
I am forgotten, disappointments spawn
I am the weeping, in nights silent hour
From society, who savors the sour
I am the dark, stuck within my fears
I am denied, to them and all who hears
I was a dreamer, now hiding within my sleep
From the all of the promises that I can not keep
I am a shadow, long gone

I loved, and I loved you well.
Even after you challenge me hell
I remember, she parted us, you and I
She kissed your cracks, promising you lies
She left you broken, by the dead
But me, I wanted you by my side, to cherish instead