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Verse 1:

D                                              A         D

There was a time when I was truly humble

D                             A         D

but lately all I can do is stumble

D

Though I put on my Sunday best

A                               G    D

and I act all good and righteous

G

Yeah, I can put on quite a show,

D                  A

But what my audience don't know

Chorus:

A

Underneath it all,

D

I still fall.

A

Underneath it all,

D

I still sin.

A

'Cause underneath it all,

E               D

it's still me deep within

A

and underneath it all,

D7

I'm still human.

Verse 2:

I failed You again, ooh I failed You again

I can't stop wallowing in my sin.

The very things I don't want to do

trip me up, and keep me from You.

And I just can't seem to do that

which my heart desires me to do, but

(Repeat Chorus)

Verse 3:

You came into my life, came into my heart

and set me apart, You set me apart,

so why do I keep failing You?

The very things I don't want to do

I find myself doing over and over again

I just can't stop wallowing in my sin.

(Repeat Chorus, then Bridge)

Bridge:

A

But underneath it all,

D7                  D

my heart cries out to You,

A                    D

Father forgive me

(Repeat Chorus 2 Xs)

You don’t need to be blamed for anything

Your mother needs to be the one failing

I’ve come here to meet you across the line

It’s up to you to leave the rest behind.

-And when you get close enough to see me

your back starts sweating ever so sweetly

The brightness of your smile lights up my face

You always save me from that lonely place. -(Pre-chorus)

-Don’t shake me cause I’m thinking of you.

Don’t wake me up, I'm dreaming of you.

Don’t take my eyes, I’m seeing in you.

Don’t break me down, I'll hold onto you. -(Chorus)

You don’t need to be thrown in the spotlight

Your father shouldn't tell you to act right

I’ve come here just to whisper in your ear

You shouldn’t fear because you know I’m near  

-Pre-chorus-

-Chorus-

-Now they’re shaking me, waking me, taking me, and breaking me down

But I’m still thinking and dreaming and seeing and holding you down- (2x)

So don’t shake me, I'm thinking of you

don’t wake me up, I'm dreaming of you

don’t take me now , I'm seeing in you

don’t break me down, I'm holding you down

For I’m still thinking and dreaming and seeing and holding you down 

I’m still thinking and dreaming and seeing and I’m still holding you down

Vulnerable. Still in fog
Nothing was mine. None was god.
We had become stones.

The light sits on the
wall, to see the ash coated world,
living in black holes.

See, where we have come
Face masks will help to hide the defeat.
The cauldron was made ready.

An unknown soldier stood
in dark to welcome the light. This was
not you, a show of power.

Intense pain is on the move
I put away my thinking for good.
I become only an observer.

We were at the edge of space
in sequenced embers. God has come
between us in the azure.

Please don't cry little one

Daddy will make your tears fade away

Don't be sad precious one

Daddy will make your world bright today

Don't be afraid my son

Sometimes you will fall and that's okay 

Just don't give up and run

Sometimes all that you can do is pray

Trust in yourself and you can do anything

Look in yourself to find what you are missing

Free your mind and you'll start to see

All you have to do is believe

Don't get mad little one

Daddy will help you find your way

Don't lose hope my sweet one

Even when this world seems cold and grey

Trust in yourself and you can do anything 

Look in yourself to find what you are missing 

Free your mind and you'll start to see

What you need to do is believe

All that you can do is pray

When this world seems cold and grey

Trust in yourself and you can do anything 

Look in yourself to find what you are missing 

Free your mind and you'll surely see

All you had to do was believe

Call it destiny, call it fate somehow

But I finally know my purpose now

Is it my calling? No way of knowing

Test faith by falling, scars are still showing

You'll never know until you try

You have to try before you die

Everyone gets a chance to shine

For a small moment in life

Some are left waiting a lifetime

I was only thirty nine

I'm two decades in, but nowhere near out

My back to the wind, and I'm thinking how

This is my calling, finally showing 

Not scared of falling, I just keep growing

You'll never know until you try

You've got to try before you die

Everyone gets a chance to shine

For a small moment in life

Some are left waiting a lifetime

I was only thirty nine

6/10/23

The love we once had has been killed and left to rot in the ground 

It doesn't hurt anymore when I see you are not around 

It's easier to keep the pain inside than to Let it out

You blame me, but you should take a look in the mirror now

Maybe it's better this way

Maybe it's how things were supposed to turn out

Maybe I should

Drive the nail in the coffin

Pull the pin on the grenade

Maybe I should

Stand back while you keep falling

Become the monster you hate

Maybe it's better this way

The bond we once shared has become frayed and hanging by a string

It doesn't hurt anymore since I don't feel a fucking thing

It's easier to keep my words inside, don't say anything

You shame me, but when you look in the mirror it's unforgiving

Maybe it's better this way

Maybe it's how things were supposed to turn out

Maybe I should

Drive the nail in the coffin

Pull the pin on the grenade

Maybe I should

Sit back as you keep falling

Become the one thing you hate

Maybe it's better this way

It's better this way

It's better this way

Now

I know I should

Drive the nail in the coffin

Pull the pin on the grenade 

Stand back while you keep falling

Become the monster you hate

Become the one thing you hate

I am the one thing you hate now

Trust me, It's better this way

6/8/23

The whole world was in
your tears. I must read it. Lest
you can commit suicide.

The innocence will not
break. Moral sense will not rise. I want
to bring the leopards of love.

Give me a snow rose
It has blood spots. My fever is going up
to take a dip in moon's lake.

Collecting the chips,
Reading. The Republic, I fear my.
fear in daylight. You wear my cloaks.

Perhaps you may not meet
the end. The travelogue has unlimited
halts. I will surrender to the moon.

Life demands too much.
You want to undress the tree of Ficus
Religiosa. New Buddha will not come back.