No more empty stares
No fortune and fame
No more hollow prayers
Done playing this game
Take away the tears
Take away the shame
Take back all these years
Take back all the blame
If you could
Make me feel something
If you would
Let me feel nothing
Just do what you're gonna do
But whatever you do
Could you make it hurt
Take away the tears
Take away the shame
Take back all these years
Take back all the blame
If you could
Make me feel something
If you would
Let me feel nothing
Just do what you have to do
But whatever you do
Could you make it hurt
If you could only make it hurt this time
If you could
Make me feel something
If you would
Let me feel nothing
Just do what you have to do
But whatever you do
Could you make it hurt
9/22/23
Sadness
Rules, my soul.
While my heart, lays waning.
I miss each touch, and every kiss.
And still, my body...., lays, wanting.
Love.
Never, more...... I'll be.
Not, once more, will I see.
And while my lips, crack, and chafe.
In dreams.
I only think, of those, long.... dead.
N kiss, lost .....forgotten lovers.
Only ever thinking, of the past.
So my wish, is, not,.....to dream.
For my past, is my future.
And, so, it ...... remains.
Tomorrow, will be, yesterday......
While today, will ever be .
The day preceding .... My death.
While
An emotion
Stole my soul..,,
Giajl © Jim Love
As Sadness can manifest itself….
In many forms.
A once forgotten moment .
Of a joyous time.
Which brings forth tears.
A sigh ..,..
because….of a memory.
Of missing part of your life.
Left longing,
for those tender moments,
once shared…..
Memories of days when ..,
skies were blue.
And in the evenings,
when we reached …..
For the stars and the moon.
No impossibles.
No signs of sad times
Only …together dreams.
Never a fleeting moment,
Just a list …….
of many.
Where.
A melancholy, moment.
Was only one.
Leaving you to think.
Sometimes
you just want to look at the moon
Giajl © Jim Love
Forever in your heart!
as the time for me and you draws near
as we say goodbye our hearts are full of fear
never forget even thou were really far apart
i will always be forever in your heart
even thou i am not with you out there
know that i will always be right here
the time we spent together never will depart
my love goes with you anywhere forever in your heart
in life our paths will lead us down a different road
and when the sadness goes into overload
just look inside yourself way past all the hurt
thats where you'll see me im forever in your heart
I was asked if I believe in true love,
I was asked, how do I know it's real?
My answer is yes,
I truly believe it can be real,
But I really don't know.
It's something I've never got to feel.
I've had sweet lies,
And stories told about happy endings that never happen.
But me?
I'm just out here with my easel and paints,
Setting up camp with broken souls,
The ones I think will look beautiful,
Painted next to my own bruised and damaged soul,
And painting blindly,
Hoping to create a masterpiece.
I watched...
while silent tears, of one-sided grief,
slowly ran in rivulets down my cheeks.
Last rights were spoken, but did nothing
to undo the wrongs.
DNR, written in blood red, screamed from off
the charted page of an empty file.
Life support was removed and helplessly I stood,
watching, waiting,
until the colors drained, a last breath was drawn
and all that remained, was white-sheeted regret.
~~~
No mourners, save for myself,
cared to view or grieve, or even offer comfort
to this bereaved soul.
I sat alone, in a high-backed, burgundy upholstered chair,
while somber music wafted past my ears
and parlor scents permeated my senses.
I eulogized out loud,
speaking of wasted time,
unmet goals, long-held regrets,
and unhealed scars,
but my words only echoed back, in taunt,
in the hollowness of the vacant chairs.
~~~
I, the lone mourner,
in single-filed procession,
marched,
unaccompanied,
past the weathered stones of others.
I said my 'goodbye' graveside,
as a soft rain fell, in a mingling of tears, and dirt, to mud...
Tossing one red rose
and a handful of rich, brown soil,
There...right there,
I buried my dreams,
a mere six feet below
my hopes.
I'm not sorry for giving you up!
I am sorry I was not given the tools to be a better mother.
I am sorry for all the pain and suffering you endured over the years.
I'm not sorry for walking away, as I believe it would have been worse had I stayed!
I can not change the past.
I live in the present and look to the future.
Dwelling only prolongs the pain.
I'm not sorry for giving you tuff love.
Sometimes it's the only way to love.
I don't have all the answers,
I have my feelings, emotions and experiences!
I'm very happy that you were able to break the cycle,
able to raise your children.
I am sorry I was not able to be a part of your lives.
I'm sorry I missed out on so many memories.
I am not sorry I gave you life.
June 13 2022
With this letter I say goodbye,
As the daylight fades to night,
Tears roll down my cheeks,
Pen trembles in my hand,
My lungs gasping for air,
The monsters under my bed,
The voices in my head,
Hypnotised by the shiny metal,
I feel numb and dead inside,
Totally zombified but without purpose,
Lies and lies that have been said,
Pumped full of chaos,
Traumatised by the outside,
For as long as I can remember,
I have wanted to die,
Feeding off my broken heart and mind,
Despair swirld round like smoke,
Emptiness becoming normal,
Fill my veins with formaldehyde,
The day has finally come,
The day my heart died.
I don't know what to write
or what to say or what to feel.
I want help but I'm too afraid
to show anyone what is real with me.
I can't seem to bring myself to terms
with my thoughts of a different future.
I can't change what I am
but if I could, I don't know that I would.
I won't let you go, but it's what holding me back
I won't face what I have, it's control I don't have.
I won't stand up to her and say I don't need you
because you're the worst drug I've ever had.
Let me start over, I swear I'll do better.
Let me have some faith in myself, I might
sleep a night without the toxic thoughts.
Let me feel like I've done something right.
Only the drugs and the alcohol make me
forget where I am, make me forget that I need
them to float above the sea, stop from sinking and
remembering everything and start thinking
about the failure that has given up.