Lady Bug

I remember in the beginnig

we were just "going with the flow"

you planned a roadtrip

and kept the destination a secret 


I remeber feeling elated, excited, alive 

you pulled over next to a sunflower field

and I found myself, heart racing,

pushing through tall grass, 

jumping a barbed wire fence

and returning with my prize


I remember that beautiful little town

how the next day,

you took me to the bird sanctuary 

how I sat there admiring these creatures 

how I envied their wings


I remember when all those ladybugs

dotted your car 

How I felt like a child

waiting for each one to fly away


And later, finding a little lost lady

inside with us

how I wanted her to stay 

how we cracked the window

and set her free instead 

I remember wishing upon her beauty


and the next day at breakfast,

how I shrieked when a giant locust

crashed into my face 

except it wasn't a locust

you reached over to reveal another

little dot lady and I squealed with delight 


her little legs tickled my hand

at the tip of my pinkie she spread her

little wings and fluttered away

I remember we looked up her meaning

lady of luck, messenger of blessings to come

how I felt it could not have been

more perfect with you 


And then the drive home,

Spotting yet another little lady 

trapped inside your car

how we were already driving too fast

how she held on to the window's edge

how I urged her to fly


You suddenly pulled over

and I remember thinking it was

the sweetest thing of you to do 

I remember telling the little lady she could fly

how I whispered goodbye when she did 

how my heart surged with gratitude

while my eyes got warm and salty

how you pulled me to you

and how that kiss tasted like flying

I felt like the luckiest lady in the world


you called me your Lady Bug

I'll never forget it 



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the wings of spirit





Fixed the bottle of scent...
Unbound her fragrance' ascent
Branched the nightingale
but her song to all ascends.
Moored tonight is the boat
but morn brings unfurled sails.
Earthbound the bodhisattva
but his aura spreads everywhere.
was Emily's pen
but her poems to
distant lands took flight.
93 million miles away the sun
but his love left home
to give us light.
-saiom shriver-
Footnote: Bodhisattva..
1 a soul who chooses to come back
to earth to help others rather than
to be liberated
2  Emily is Emily Dickinson

3  dedicated to my 18 year old kitty Babaji

   who left for God today

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As of right now

I have nothing

But I do know one thing

That he is my everything

Being with him

Makes me feel like

A million bucks

Because he is my everything

And I know that I am his

That makes me feel amazing

Just to know that

Makes me wish I had wings

what makes me feel better

the only thing that does

Is knowing that he wants

To put a ring on my finger

And let the world know

That I am his



Written on

 July 22, 2012

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This was written about an ex-boyfriend. It says all I needed to say.

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If I Am to Lose These Eyes

If  I am to lose these eyes

Strip me then now of these lies


Take me to this darkness wonder

In harmony of the black of slumber

Forever to stay shut, anchored in a sea under

and yet though, I do not believe in such thunder


You can take me away from one thing

But I will find a way to still chirp and sing

You can take my legs and swallow love's promised ring

But I'll still find a way to flap a broken wing


And if I am to die..?

I can walk away, with open eyes.

A Breeze of Memory

A graveyard of dead trees

Fallen leaves of vast red and orange seas

Squirrels scurry before winter strikes

As children play while others pass on bikes


harmony of the trees an the wind come together and sing

As a bird chirps then stops to clean it's wing

Children shrieking and screaming as they play

Angry armies of cars roar past, then fly away


Memories start of when I was a kid

Only broken away by time an what it did

Sitting still only in question

Of who I am and to what is my impression


I laughed . . . I played here

I was happy unknown of fear

But then reality again breaks memory's connection

Only to be lost again, still unknown of my reflection


Author's Notes/Comments: 

annnd, here you have yet another class assignment that I did way back.




2 knives, in each side..
2 eyes burning through my heart..
empty fragments, words drifting in & out of the past
memories turn to ash as we sift them around the palms of our hands..
crippled & gone.. time to move on.
to solidify my dreams..
hate myself.. waste of space, waste of air..
I dove into hell.
God please pull me back together, stitch up these ripped seams..


you're like the blade dragged across my stomach
or the scorching flame against my bare skin...
I want you out of my life
I want you up from under this skin
demons, demons, I can't let you win..
for I am not your kin...


everthing I want, I cannot have.
all that I reach for, I cannot grab..
the rainest of days bring me back to visions i've attempted to smudge out with you..
I guess it was easier on the other end.
but who's to say where & when...


covered in blood, pushed into the mud, I will stand up again.
open scars, out of breath, I must remain relentless.
shadows chasing me, run run, but they consumed all the light..
crouched in fright, nails dug into my back
they're trying to pin down these wings...
hoping i'll never take flight.
using all my energy to break away, fight them off with all my might, all my will...
but they keep whispering "kill... kill.."


legion, you've defiled me,
for you are the fallen, in unity.
this cross lays heavy on my back..
I think i'm starting to crack.
my barriers are thin & I wish I could let God in
but there's just one set of footprints in the sand
no savior to hold my hand
freezing cold.
the ocean looks like a black hole..
if I were to set sail, how could I ever return?
i'd be spun around in circles, triangles, squares
what would I learn?


even though the sun still shines
even though some of the grass is still green
even though there are plenty of trees
I cant stop looking down.. down on me.
the hail is sharp from this dark cloud.
storm hovers above.
I try to clear it out, but I can't with no love


depleted but not empty
awakened in the midst of deep sleep
dead in this life
strife impailed
left hung, waiting to burn..
I never dug my own grave
I only ever cried to be saved.

She Who Was Born With Wings.

She Who Was....

There was once a girl,

born with wings.

who flew with falcons,

and oversaw all things.

This beautiful maiden,

with hair like golden silk.

lips like that of plush peaches,

and skin like a glass of milk.

Her wings shone white,

against the sky.

And to watch this girl soar,

could make grown men cry.

She only wore white,

the sheerest of gowns.

Her feet slightly dirty,

a light shade of brown.

She looked like an angel,

Or a Goddess maybe.

Who could dart past a plane,

quicker than the can see.

She Who Was Born With Wings,

was a legend among men.

Who sang them songs of old,

and laughed among them.

However alas she couldn't set,

her feet upon the ground.

For if she did her wings would implode,

without a single sound.

So she was forced to fly alone,

for 20 years in days.

Until she was blessed with a mate.

At least thats what they say.

His wings were black as night,

and turned blue when she was near.

And every night above your head,

their love song you could hear.

These two beautiful beings,

cursed as they were to forever fly.

Were happier than any on the ground,

or those within the sky.

They wished their children,

not to have the same.

To be able to walk among men,

and indulge in child's games.

So when children came,

they were laid on roofs.

Thought to be a an orphan,

which had a ring of truth.

But alas the golden winged girl,

grew old and died with her mate.

But their legend is still spread wide,

up until this very date.

And though we may not believe,

or ponder at such things.

There are still those solemn few,

who dream of She Who Was Born With Wings.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is a poem that goes along with my "She Who Was...." poem and fantasy series. So yeah enjoy and give feedback

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I Want to Be the Girl That Flies

I want to be the girl that flies

With crystal wings

Across blue skies


From down below

Always knowing

Where to go

I want to be the girl that lands 

And this girl is greeted

With outstretched hands

I want my friends to keep me safe

From that scary lonely terrible place

I want to be the girl that dances

She’s not afraid of taking chances

She’s been burned

But she’s not shy

I want to be the girl that flies 

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Featherless Wings

Spiralling down, the world turns sideways;
If only it would stay still I could arrange my thoughts.
Take what you own to pay for your own funeral,
A paralysed catharsis,

Trying to crawl its way into living.

A second hesitation hanging on a trip wire,
The explosion comes before the paranoia.
To fight such weak and juvenile demons,
Is an effort wasted instead of walking way.
Saying sorry for sorry's sake:
The changeling reverting to another seed.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Change is necessary as long as you remember where you started from.