You can be my kryptonite
You can bring my downfall
Bring me to my knees
Pull the energy out of me
You can be the fire
That finally consumes me
Weakness or ecstasy
You could be my kryptonite
Falsehoods and lies
Truth in disguise
Whispers comprise
A doubt in my heart
Blinding my eyes
Sorrow and sighs
Darkness will rise
My world falls apart
It's not you,
It's not me,
It's not him
It's the world that has been
sucking us back in
to the dark void it's yet to fill
devouring our rainbows and
any shade and trace of light
and everything we hold dear
It's not you
It's not me
It might be
the words of a madman that
have devoured me piece by piece
ever since
until I suffocate and dissolve
into the nothingness I feel
at 3 a.m.
And I'm sorry if you knew this only now.
It's not you
It's not him
It's the constant fear
that has built a home
out of the shanties of my heart
Pulling the strings,
the triggers
on its whim
And I'm sorry but it's already won the war, I believe
It's not you
It's not me
It's not him
It's the inevitability I cannot escape
And so in silence, I shall
roam this world and carry
the memories of us,
your buzzcut and my smile,
and the glow I basked on with
in that April afternoon.
Forget about me.
On a trip, to a museum I was.
There a statue, made of grey stone I saw.
Statue of a little boy.
In his hands holding a jar.
Filled with fireflies, was that jar.
And at it, he was looking.
I looked into his eyes, which were telling me something.
In his eyes were some dream.
They told me that, he wants to walk.
The boy made of grey stone.
He lives in museum, standing alone.
And loneliness, makes him cry.
And no one hear his any moan.
He wants to go out, and enjoy the open air.
And birds sitting on trees he wants to stare.
And look at roses, and in winter, girly red noses.
And a friend, to them, everything to share.
And catch fireflies himself.
And put them in the jar.
And he wishes that he had a home with a shelf.
To put that jar on.
And sleep when he's tired of standing.
But he wishes what is against the nature.
Because he is just a stone made creature.
Your hugs heal my breaking heart
Only temporarily, for once I see you hug another
It once again tears apart
I question my warm feelings…
We’re only friends, yet you fascinate me
To the point that I wonder if that’s all we really are.
I cherish our laughter, our quirky remarks
But do you lavish the intrepid beauty of others instead?
Am I nothing, if not the awkward girl you laugh with, when they’re gone…?
But then, am I more special than they?
More than a face, two breasts, and hips?
More than a quick pleasure in-between your sheets?
Or is that all you truly cherish…?
Every day that goes by
I see myself bigger in my eye
But when I look at yours I know I'm living a lie
You pretty boy I want to call mine
You change my point of view on anything and everything
You even make me feel the impossible
Like I'm flying with my broken wings
You pretty boy I want to call mine
You make me feel special when you look into my eye
?How much longer do I have to wait
?To make a move before it's too late
You pretty boy I want to call mine
I drown in your ocean blue eyes
And I dream about your red lips, they look so fine
?How many girls have drooled over you
?And how many have held your hands
You pretty boy I want to call mine
Your smile makes my body whine
It brings warmth to my heart
And dirty thoughts to my mind
You make my heart stop
And my body to tingle with flames
You pretty boy I want to call mine
Even when my body is not awake
You find a way to enter my dreams
And all I see is you and me on a date beside the lake
Even when I'm taking an exam
Your name comes acroos my brain several times
You pretty boy I want to call mine
Every time I say I'm over you, you show me it's not yet
And reveal to me an amazing side of yours I haven’t met
Your care freeness and your freeness I envy and love
How you can enjoy and care less about the mess
Everything about you I want, even in your worse
Together I'm sure we can open new doors
You pretty boy I want to call mine
My desperation is getting out of line
But your dreamy eyes tells me its fine
In my head I'm yours and you are mine
But when reality struck
I know I have no luck
Summer 2000
Trisha M. Barrek Hopkins
Wow! A bundle of joy
Great times
Gorgeous smiles
You're having a baby boy
Give the kid hugs and kisses
Have a great time with your baby
Soon he'll find a misses
So share this time to talk
To share secretes with
Take pictures
Because soon he'll be crawling
Soon that'll be a myth
Bacause soon he'll be walking
Memories are forever
You'll never want them to end
A baby boy
What are you going to name him
Once he hits one
He'll have lots of toys
He will have temper tantrums
Yes your little sweet boy
So remember to pamper him
Soon he'll be a big boy
He wont be your little one
Make sure you take him to the shore
One day soon he'll come home with a lady
Give him all the love
Don't worry he'll always want more
You're his one and only mom
You're the one he'll adore
A baby boy
Thats great news
Make sure you make a shelf
For all his shoes
Have fun....
With all the crazy times
Because with your baby boy
Joy will never be done
He'll look like you
That's not a false statement
It'll be true
You watch
When he is born
You two will be a perfect match
Copyright*
Judy was in the store
and I found her at the back
filling shelves
and I said
how's it going?
and she said
O so so
not like it was
at school
there
you could have a laugh
here everyone is
O got to keep
the customers happy
got to keep them
coming back
she placed the last
of the tins
on the shelf
and paused
you still get
to sit by our lake?
she said
now and then
I said
not as often
as we did
but I have to work
now too
and time gets eaten up
by the work time
you remember that time
we sneaked there
after school
and it was summer evening
and we sat there
watching the sun go down
through the trees
like a departing actor
after a big scene?
she said
sure I do
I said
and the shadows of birds
going off to sleep
and bats
she said
O how I hated
those things
beginning to flap
about over head
and that time
you kissed my neck
so unexpectedly
that I screamed
and it echoed right
through the woods
like I was being murdered
she smiled
and looked around the store
don’t have a laugh any more
it's all so serious here
the staff
the customers
just wish
it was as it was
maybe we
should meet up again
one evening
by the lake
and see the sunset
as we once did
I said
the store manager
came by
and said something to her
and she picked up
some other tins
and began filling
another self
what's he say?
I asked
the bum said
I wasn't
to waste company time
in idle chitchat
anyway
she said
I'd like to get
to the lake one evening
as we used to
maybe Thursday evening
I looked at her hands
holding the tins
how I once held them
and kissed the fingers
one by one
sure
I said
that will be good
we agreed a time and date
and I left her there
giving the manager
a cool eyed stare.
Lizbeth insisted
on us going
to the small church again
we walked
as she had parked
her bike
by the shed door
at the back
of the cottage
it seems longer
when you walk it
she said
same length
different speed
I said
she'd put on
her short black dress
for some reason
not fitting
for this kind
of countryside
her shoes had mud
on them already
where a tractor
had deposited it
all along
the narrow road
don't you have
buses here?
she asked
once a week
I said
Saturdays
2 hours
to do your shopping
in town
then back
2 hours?
she said
I need longer
than that to shop
that's all there is
I said
I hate the countryside
she said
the smell
the quiet
the emptiness
the silly blue sky
and those puffy
white clouds
she seemed annoyed
Benny
how do you stick it?
it's ok
I like it
it has a sense
of peace here
and there are birds
to study and butterflies
O my god
Lizbeth said
I’d die
of boredom here
you'd find me stiff
in some corn field
or whatever shit
grows in these fields
we walked on
in a uneasy silence
for a while
what's she like?
Lizbeth said
who?
I asked
that girl
who lives near you
the girl with
the long straight black hair
and a face like a virgin
I knew who she meant
but I said nothing
but pretended
not to know
she lives near me?
I said
yes
well she gets on
your school van
in the mornings
and afternoons
always dresses
like she's going
to a funeral
I see her
in the girl's playground
little Miss No Mates
O you mean Jane
I said
she's good
we have long walks together
and she knows a lot
about nature and birds
and butterflies and beetles
and so on
you walk with her?
Lizbeth said
sure
we often go for walks
when its fine and warm
what do you do?
is she up for it?
up for what?
you know
sex?
Lizbeth spat out
the last word
as if
it were too hot
for her tongue
we don't think
about that
kind of thing
I said
Lizbeth looked at me
with raised eyebrows
thought not
she said
we walked up
the narrow lane
to the church
sunlight warming
our heads and backs
if the church is empty
maybe we can
she said
can what?
I said
you know
have S E X
I looked
at the church
appearing above
the hedgerow
and hoped to God
someone was there
some visitor
or vicar
or anyone
to save my day
and stop her fun.