Questioning

How, And Why?

Folder: 
Outlook

It's been a while since I've seen you, been a while since I've heard from you.
Your face is the one thing I can still see, and your voice is the one thing I can still hear.
Mentally, I saw you walking, but you passed me, and didn't notice I was there.
I tried to call out to you, but you didn't hear me.

Once, I thought I loved you, everyone else seemed to think I did too.
But all I felt went away very quickly, like I knew it would. 
When I met you, I was happy, we talked almost always, and it was great having someone to talk to.
You were there, when he wasn't. 

I appreciate and love you for that.

I've tried to picture what it would be like if I was with you, what it would be like if I was yours instead of his.
Would I be happier? Would I experience what I'm not right now?
So many questions, and so many answers which I haven't found. 
Everytime I am alone, I feel some sort of sadness, some sort of emptyness.

Not that it completely has to do with you or him, but I think more to do with the loneliness I've been living with.
Making myself believe things could be different every time I find someone new.
But, you know how it goes, and how its gone for me.
How to walk away from something seems easy, but sometimes, people struggle even when they know they have to let go.

Being with someone new is something I almost don't want to do again.
I don't want to tell anyone else stories of my past, and how I once was.
I don't want to do things and not keep it to myself.
I've always been a quiet and reserved girl, I've always been you could say, overly careful about who I allow to touch me.

Doing things with him, I grew comfortable with, and something I became okay with.
Doing things with you, I've questioned, and thought of, something I would've had to grow comfortable and okay with.
Could I ever do things with you, can I see myself doing things with you, and would I ever see and hear you again........but this time, for real?

 

 

I look at how other girls live their lives, and sometimes think of how they handle being physical. 
How do they allow themselves to give their all to one guy, and then another after some time has passed?
is there never any regret? Is there never any fear and doubt?
Where does the trust comfort and idea of being okay with it come from?
If things go wrong, how are they able to allow themselves to do it again, and with someone else who isn't meant to be their someone?

And off the topic I wonder, how was someone like you, able to seemingly fall for me?
I am a damaged broken record you see. 
What is there to possibly like about me, how can one like me, and why?
Even after trying to be with someone for 5 years, I still don't know why he chose me........but then there's you. 
Why did you pick me? why havent you given up? Why do you still wish to have me?
What is there, aside from the reason to do with my body, to like about a woman like me?

 

Breathe Him In

So what if we haven't a label? 
Feelings so strong
That he can traipse me along,
And I will be okay;
Because at least I get a part of him.
At least I can breathe in his breath,
Feel the hair of his chest beneath my fingertips,
Stare into his face as he sleeps,
And think of how I lucky I am to be near him.
I just need the chance to breathe him in.
Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written: 2/20/2018

View foreverlonely's Full Portfolio

Who Am I To You?

Who am I to you?

What am I to you?

You cannot answer me,

But in riddles

Once again,

I leave,

Perturbed

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2/10/2018

View foreverlonely's Full Portfolio

Why?

Why am I not good enough?

What did I do wrong?

Why am I not good enough?

Why must I be alone for so damned long?

Why am I not good enough?

Why am I not worth enough to try?

Why am I not good enough?

My wings will never fly.

Why am I not good enough?

What harm did I ever do to you?

Why am I not good enough?

Why must my dreams be so few?

Why am I not good enough?

Why must I do all this crying?

Why am I not good enough,

 To do anything but slowly dying?

View wryter's Full Portfolio

A Breeze of Memory

A graveyard of dead trees

Fallen leaves of vast red and orange seas

Squirrels scurry before winter strikes

As children play while others pass on bikes

 

harmony of the trees an the wind come together and sing

As a bird chirps then stops to clean it's wing

Children shrieking and screaming as they play

Angry armies of cars roar past, then fly away

 

Memories start of when I was a kid

Only broken away by time an what it did

Sitting still only in question

Of who I am and to what is my impression

 

I laughed . . . I played here

I was happy unknown of fear

But then reality again breaks memory's connection

Only to be lost again, still unknown of my reflection

 
Like
 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

annnd, here you have yet another class assignment that I did way back.

 

??? Who Am I Now?

Once was a

free-spirited child.

 

I ran on all fours

like Spirit* and Rain*,

galloping through the grass,

soaring over sidewalks.

 

 

Once I was a

free-spirited child.

 

I could run around naked

without a care in the world.

 

 

Once I was a

free-spirited child.

 

The world was mine,

and I was invincible!

 

 

Once I was a

free-spirited child.

 

But now, I am....

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I'd like to know what you guys think of this... I have been writing it for some time now...

I also don't know 100% about the title.... open to suggestions!

 

*From the movie Spirit

I Have an Unknown Friend

I have an unknown friend, who lives in the sky

Why I question him, I do not know why

I should not go to look for him, they say

But I know he'll want to look for me someday

I wonder, I ponder, even as I sleep

I dare not awake, for I have gone too deep

But again, the sun calls to another abrupt wake

Alone again, to find an answer for my sake

I take another step foward, for this I will fight

Forever wrapped in this question, how it echoes through the burning light








What Would It Be Like...

Folder: 
My thoughts

What would it be like...

to do things differently

than I always do?

 

What would it be like...

to dress in shorter shorts,

and lower shirts?

 

What would it be like..

to give in to the urges

that guys are giving me?

 

 

What Would It Be Like...?

 

 

What would it be like...

to not always do

what I'm supposed to?

 

What Would It Be Like...?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A poem about how I'm feeling lately...

Please let me know what you think!!

View thisisme789's Full Portfolio

My question

What is life?
Is it your memories of old,
Is it the actions of present,
Or is it the fear of the foretold?

What is age?
Is it the scars on your body,
Is it the winkles of skin,
Or is it the year on your ID?

What is time?
Is it the hands on the clock,
Is it the 4-digit year,
Or is it the thing that doesn't stop?

What is death?
Is it your result of living,
Is it the end,
Or is it your beginning?

View nightpoems's Full Portfolio