emotions

You Don't Know Me

You poor little porcupine.

It startled me that you jumped in front of a moving car.

I wish I could be there for you and help in any way I can.

But your quills pricked my heart when I gave you a hug.

 

I cannot pull them out or I would die.

So I had to tolerate this pain and let it suck the life out of me little by little

While I think back to when our affection for each other mended every obstacle we faced.

 

The future was bright for us.

You couldn’t stand by to let me sink

So you taught me to swim.

I wanted to return the favor badly.

But I didn’t know how I could, sadly.

 

The possibilities were endless when we spoke of our dreams.

You could picture yourself coming to my rescue and growing old with me.

You couldn’t wait to hear my voice as if your favorite show was about to air on TV.

You made every effort to show that you loved me

Even if I have nothing to give you in return except my own.

 

A year passed and the storm clouds were brewing.

The weather grew colder and attitudes turned sour.

I was working hard and I felt out of breath.

You were studying hard and you turned inflammable.

 

“Where was I when you needed me most?” you asked “calmly” one day.

“I’ve been fighting my own battles all this time.” I tell you. “Life hasn’t been kind to me lately.”

Please, please bear with me. I’m tired and I’m scared. I’m going to be left to my own devices.”

“You need to make more time for me.” You scream. “Anyone would have abandoned you ages ago”

“If you’ve been gone for as long as you did. Is several hours with me too much to ask?”

“Answer me, you ignorant, pathetic excuse of a child!!! Grow up!!!”

I couldn’t with you leeching off of my aura.

You made it seem like the world hates me now.

So I packed up my things, spread my wings, and flew off into the rain.

It doesn’t matter how badly you are suffering yourself

If the prospect that I need to take care of myself too slips your mind.

 

I never asked you to help me.

You did so at your own volition.

If you didn’t want to in the first place,

You could’ve answered, “No thank you.”

We could’ve gone on with our lives either way.

 

But here you are.

You called me immature.

You called me a teen in an adult’s body.

You said I never bothered to do my share.

 

But my dear porcupine, have you taken a look at yourself?

Or better yet, look in a mirror?

You don’t see the newfound greed in your heart, but I do.

The scholars in my inner circles do.

 

Whose leg are you trying to pull?

My loved ones know exactly what you said.

They know how selfish you’ve been acting and what I could’ve done.

If you think no one can love me the way you did, you could not be more wrong.

 

I can admit when I am anyway.

You went to town on me like I didn’t know how to count.

And my only response to your passionate rave was goodbye.

In the blink of an eye, you disappeared from my mind. Your quills in my heart decomposed.

It was like you were just another customer that treats cashiers like their punching bags.

 

I wish you the best of luck with your own hardships.

And I hope your own wounds heal entirely.

But I am done with you.

I am done letting your vitriol take up space.

I am done listening to you disguise your resentment as facts.

I am done hating myself for what our love has come to.

My love for you was just practice for the next person.

Nothing more, nothing less.

 

Demeter was wise to tell me to stop getting involved.

Because I discovered that what you don’t know

Was how amazing it felt to give you up and do her work

Without a care in the world. After all, you don’t know me.

The Bouttonniere and Corsage

Folder: 
Poems

I'm walking by a place,

A place that has lost its reason to walk by.

Now I look at it with a somber face and a heavy heart.

I do recall the times i was here,

the joy and cause I had to visit here.

But its not those reasons that make me low.

Not the nostolgiac talks or even the cause of the past that weighs on my soul.

It is the joy of then, and lack of it now that brings me low.

The smiles that were, the smiles that aren't and smiles that could have been

The smiles that could have been.

 

Now instead I walk falsely,

to make light of what weighs heavy.

To make light of what weighs heavy.

I hold my head a little higher, stand a little straighter,

work a little harder; work a little too hard.

Joke a little more, laugh a little louder and smile,

Smile a little too much.

To make light of what weighs heavy at the place I'm walking by.

The Strife of Life and Love

Life is the same as yesterday, today and tomorrow. Squeezing every ounce of itself into a jar, to be compressed and stretched and strained into a cup of its own making, served as an instant hit of convenient, caffeinated consciousness. But Love does not care for the taste of Life’s bitter notes.

 
Then Life became livid saying, “My Love, I tire of this chase and will no longer wait! For I grow cold and restless! Must you be so chaste?!”

 
Softly spoken Love replies, “Are you truly living?”

 
To which Life responds with a lisp, “Don’t be so flippant my Love! I am served every day, for I wield great power over the many! Those lifeless, barren vessels, who by my merest breath fall prostrate, and go to and fro as mindless automations!”

 
“I am their first yearning at dawn! Their addiction, their religion, their lover and their mistress! I am that dirty, dark stain beneath the gloss of their white picket fences, the self-righteous stench behind the satire of their Sunday morning sermons and the fateful fall of their happily ever afters!”

 
“So tell me my love, if you truly are love why will you not love me!?”

 
Love simply speaks…”To truly live is to truly love. Life needs nothing of itself to sustain itself because when given it is not divided and it is love that makes life worth living. When life requires something outside if itself it cannot be life because it lives only for that which it seeks to possess. On the contrary, when life needs nothing other than itself it requires no other possessions and only lives to love”.

 

“You cannot be life for you have never truly lived, therefore how can you know love?”

Territorial Imperative (An Affected Poem About Chances In Love)











Territorial Imperative 

 





You know that I could love

you with agape;

 

It is such a wonder that you

had stopped me on my way

 

But when I had to think of you

It has kept me dazed—always

 

My waking states alter day-to-day

Just for seeing your smiling face

 

A guy who would be likened

to a man, by a woman

 

It is unchartered territory,

But it could be the best one.














Author's Notes/Comments: 

Reedited 11.23.2019 (I have merely supplanted the former erroneous emendations, as indicated below in smaller fonts); 07.11.2019 (misspelling/typographical error corrections that are affecting its sense-making intended meaning-making attempts, e.g., or losinng. perhaps < or losing*, perhaps):  



"Territorial Imperative" is a poem about getting (or losing, perhaps) our chances in love.  But this is taken from my viewpoint, of my own subjective chance(s) or lack thereof—because it is relational (at the time when it was written).  The date of its composition supposedly was on 04/18/2017 at around 04:56 A.M.

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You are amazing

The fact that you tear people down to build yourself up tells you had no actual foundation

 

The notions of individuals enforced with brutality and absence of emotion by a supposedly advanced nation

 

For all those who are belittled, besmirched and made to feel less than second best

 

You are good enough

 

Those who are never given a chance and forced to associate themselves with systematically force-fed hate

 

Whether physically or mentally

 

You are bloody great

 

No matter what they say and the mentalities they try to enforce on your being

 

You are you, You are Alive, and You are capable of amazing things

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Something simpler but hopefully just as effective

Feedback.......Yes please :D

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On My Own

Verse 1:

If only you could see

That we're meant to be,

Though, I can make it on my own,

I want you by my side.

'Cause I'll be there

When the world stops.

 

Chorus:
I can find a way home.

I can make it on my own.

If only you'd be by my side,

I cannot make it without you.

If only you'd realize

That I'm the one for you.

 

Verse 2:

All this time,
I've been incomplete without you.

Our hearts are witch each other.

Maybe, I'll find someone

That I'll love unconditionally.

 

Bridge: 

This love that I found again,

I'll cherish our memories

That I thought I had forgotten.

If only you were by my side,

You'd realize my undying love for you.

 

Last-Chorus:
I won't let you go

'Cause babe, you're my poison.

The day we met still

Lingers in my mind.

Your love is my sin. 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Song written on American's Thanksgiving. It's about loving someone that does love you but can't admit it yet..

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No Matter Part 2

Verse 1:

They say that fate is what you make of it.

It was destiny that bought us together:

Friendship turned into a romantic relationship;

There's no turning back now.

 

Chorus:

No matter the arguments,

Let's compromise.

No matter the distance,
If it's love, let's keep it going.

 

Verse 2:

 'Cause I love you,

No matter the time,

Until the day I die,

You're my one and only.

 

Bridge:

When the time comes,

I'll take you away from here.

If only you could see that

We belong together.

 

Last Chorus:

No matter what,

I won't hurt you.

No matter what,

I won't let you go so easily.

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is inspired by the ending scene (series finale episode) of the tv series: Everwood where Amy confesses to Ephram about her love to him. 

Link to confession: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBrkgBdxjrQ 

No Matter

Verse 1:

Though, I meet someone new

No one can compare to you.

No matter what we do or the trials and tribulations we face,

If it's you, I can overcome anything.

 

Chorus:

No matter the distance,

Timing is everything.

You belong to me

And I to you.

 

Verse 2:
No matter if we argue,

 We'll resolve it quickly:

Agree to disagree.

You challenge me.

 

Bridge:

No matter the love,

let's keep it going.

If it's just you and me,

We can get through anything.

 

Last-Chorus:
No matter what,

I'll always love you.

'Cause you're my shooting star,

I won't let you go so easily.

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This song is inspired by the BoA song (feat. Beenzino): "No Matter What" and the Oceanlane song - "You Don't Belong to Me". It's dedicated to my ex (aka first love)... -_- (I don't know if I can ever get over him)

Heartbeat Part 3

Verse 1:
Come away with me tonight.

This heart beats so alone

Without its better half.

Babe, you're my heartbeat.

 

Chorus:

All the rhythms lead

And point to you.

Can you run into my arms?

'Cause you're worth the fight.

 

Verse 2:

I'd do anything for us.

It's worth the aches and pain.

There's no price for what

I'd go through for you.

 

Bridge:

 This heart beats so alone

Without its better half.

Perhaps, now, would you return to my side?

'Cause you are my life's memory: my heartbeat.

 

Last-Chorus:
Was it a sin to love you?

'Cause you're my posion.

This heart beats so alone

Without its better half.

For, you are my heartbeat. 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

"Heartbeat Part 3" inspired by the Ariana Grande song: "All My Love" which a guy friend dedicated to me. I don't love my guy friend in that way though so I ended up breaking his heart...