Road Not Taken (January day 11)

i miss all the decisions i didn’t make

and i still kind of want to know the color of your eyes

every day you wake up without me


there is a song that gets me through so many days

and i wrote out all the lyrics in a message to you

still unsent


because how am i supposed to get through days

and not come home asking you to hold me

how am i supposed to have something to celebrate

and not have you be the first one i tell


call me crazy when the lights go out

i send the stars some letters but they will never reach you

I paint my wishes on your walls with glow in the dark paint-

it’s still not enough

you never turn the lights off

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 1/11/21


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By jfarrell


Behind me lies the road I have travelled;

As I arrive at this crossroad,

I will sit, rest,

Consider my options


Nearly 20 years in childcare,

But I am not that person anymore;

Suicide and looking after kids

Do not mix well


So, here I am

At the crossroad;

To my left lies bar work

I can help folk find oblivion


To my right lies kitchen work;

Although recent experience suggests

I am a case of mass food poisoning

Waiting to happen


The road ahead is paved with words;

Short words, long words

And the signpost reads “Your future is this way”

This is my crossroad and the road ahead looks beautiful


Author's Notes/Comments: 

robert johnson met the devil at a crossroads "teach me to play the blues" he asked, i'd love to be able to play the blues, but i a crap guitar player, so i'll settle for burning everything :)

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Travelling along my path


I find myself


At a crossroads,




I do not take the road less traveled,


For that one looks overused.


And I do not take the road more traveled,


For that one looks forgotten.


Instead I choose to create my own path,


Carve a new trail,


Enjoy a new experience which no one has ever seen before.


I choose to take the path I want,


Not the ones everyone tells me I can.

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The hourglass stands

Bits of sand fall

Turn it on its side

My being is split

Between what once was

And what will be

Each grain reflects a choice, a trait, a memory

What happens now? 

Wasting time again and again

Where does it begin and end

What is my foundation?

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AND there she was, standing in the distance, disappointed, upset, confused, broken, hurt. Begging for an answer to the burning disappointment she was presented with.
IT was not that she had not loved him, nor was it that she didn't love him, but that she was let down, and the feeling she was left with was impossible to explain.
WILL she understand what she feels, and will she make it through? Of course she will. She's strong. She may be broken, but she's fixed plenty of things in her lifetime to get back up and take a step out there and be somebody.
BE strong, be faithful, be truthful, be honest, be yourself. That's where you're going to find true love. Someone will come along and pick you up off of your feet and make you feel like you've never felt before.
OKAY is the word that's going to describe you after every battle. After every fight. After the loss, after the heartache. After the pain and breaths that she had to take in order to get through.

But in the end... She knew that she'd have to fight..

And it will be okay

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is personal, and it's how I made someone feel.

What It Is

I feel like every single thing is like a mind game,  played and laid out for me

I can't feel a single thing, like I'm not blind, but I still can't see


What is it really? Perhaps it's not that important?

Tell me what it is, or is it just my own comportment?


I have walked in the very things I've looked down upon

What I once thought was selfish, now I too am wrong


and now there is blood all over my hand

But I have no idea why, I just don't understand


This is a complication called the human mind

Irony, double standards, hypocrisy, A place to be so blind


To wallow and loop in this thick puddle of shame

For the mistakes commited, I fairly wore the blame


Knowing is the beginning is something I suppose

It's better to learn, rather than to find it to oppose.


So I guess I'll take my feelings and throw them to the floor

I'll leave you where you originally were, trapped inside a closed door


And you can echo your goodbyes

as you embrace yourself to the ink of sheer ignorance and sighs..

The Poison In You

What if I wasn't like you?

And I was just me, and Myself was true?


And if you did bad would it mean I would too? 

Would it mean if I did it, I'm exactly like you?


Would I be subject to your evil?

Would I be subject to your internal upheaval?


What if I am good in spirit,

And you might just rather not hear it


And if I did bad, does it mean I'm just like you?

Looking for an excuse for the culprit that causes blue?


Decisions left to baseless comparison

Myself gone from me, and origin

She tells me so, I'm just like him and her

Do you see my other qualities as just a blur?


Bring my poison, she admits me to it

Determines me as someone else and then she sits


Then, who am I?

A continuation of your deranged views, someone elses cry?

Dodge the Beast

The tentecals of this beast are pulling me down

My sails are broken and there is no one around

So i made a deal with Davy Jones

There is no way im letting this beast keep my bones

Ill end up working the rest of my life away

But atleast in the end ill be able to say

"Every decision ive made was my own

Even when the gods tried to bring me home."

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Got bored and wrote this. im trying, practice makes perfect right. if you read it please leave a little critizism to help me out. it would be greatly appreciated.

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Every Step

I’m just trying to live life one step at a time.

Just searching for a meaning to my life that will ease my mind.

I write what’s in my heart, I look for guidance in the stars.

Just on a mission to find the right destination.

It’s every step along the way that makes me who I am,

sets me apart from the rest, my heart and mind so unique .

I strengthen what I know as I continue to grow.

My mission is to learn as much as I can and to love deeper than I’ve ever known.

It’s every step along the way that makes the destination so great.

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