Rock Bottom

I started at the bottom 

I'm still here

Hesitant to climb the ladder

Can't conquer fear


The path to my ascension 

Remains quite clear

My clarity concedes to critics 

Thank you peers


Now the bottom slowly rises

With my tears

Floating on a fragile boat

My emotions steer


Will I sink or swim

The answer nears

Every inch I slowly rise

My insides cheer


The mask of my depression 

Now rendered sheer

Staring into the light ahead

Like blinded deer


The boat begins to rock

Nausea has appeared 

Sickness now stunts my travels

Cursed inner ear


The rocky waves crashing overhead

Drench the veneer

Tumble over the boat's edge

Tipped over steer


Mournful breaths as I descend

Curse my puppeteer

Hopelessly I drift back down

Life's discarded souvenir 


My advice for achieving happiness

I freely volunteer

Instead of holding onto rocks

Hold those dear

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Wanted to try messing with a 5 3 5 3 pattern as well as consistantly rhyming words.

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When in doubt, take a knife

Slice it across the vein along the wrist

Don't go soft, make it count

Make that shit bleed

Watch as it pours over the skin

Do you feel it?

Do you feel any different?

Probably not!

Feeling that coldness along your cheeks

That's still not enough

The tiled floor is within reach

Do you feel it?

Do you feel different?

Probably not!

The knife is still within your hand 

Slide it along both your thighs 

Make it bleed

Come on now

Don't be a baby

You want it to go away

You know how to do it

Not once, not twice, three times is nice

You're beginning to feel it now

All that pain is starting to ease

The wall is crumbling

The salt pouring along your lips

Yes, let it all out

If this isn't enough and you've had enough

Let the cold water cover the skin

Relax and lay back

Let it all out

Take your last breath cause it's time

Now you are going cold

Do you feel any better?

I'm sure you do

No more pain

No more complaints and disappointments

No more worries 

Now just hope you end up where you want to go


New Lyrics


It's December

It's the happiest time of the year

It's December

But in this frozen heart there's no cheer- (chorus)


Let it snow til I'm covered from head to toe

Let the sun go down before I can get home

Just remember it's December 


Let the leaves turn brown as they rot on the ground

Let the night black out everything that's around

Just remember it's December 



It's December 

It's the happiest time of the year

Its December 

But in this frozen heart there's no cheer


It's so cold

Why do I feel so alone?


That's when I


It's December 

It's the happiest time of the year

It's December 

Cause in this frozen heart there's no cheer

In this frozen heart there's no cheer



Author's Notes/Comments: 

I kinda got my inspiration from a Christmas song I had stuck in my head, and the words just flowed out, so now I have a "winter" or "Christmas song" under my belt. 

See if you can guess what song it was...


Sugar Laced Words


You rushed in like a forceful wind. 

You did not ask, you just let yourself in. 

I tried hard to stop it but I was not strong. 

You tore down the bricks that made up my walls. 

Standing there as bare and naked as I could be.

That is when you crept in and stole me. 

Small sweet words were all it ever took.

To keep me swimming for that silent, sharp hook. 

The screams inside my brain would never cease.

I cupped my hands around my ears and scrunched up my face. 

I cried and tossed and turned, trying to sleep. 

But those mountains of guilt were far too steep. 

I tried to go and told you no more often than not. 

Sugar laced whispers were your only shot. 

Like a starving child I reached out my hands. 

Only to find two fistfulls of sand. 

I let it slowly sift through my fingertips. 

Watched it fall away as if it never did exist. 

I stood up tall once more and looked out at the sea. 

Raced toward the waves, leaving behind the shell who once was me. 

I looked back once and saw you kneeling on the shore. 

And I smiled because I did not fear you anymore. 

It's Always Been You

It's you

It's always been you

Stealing my dreams

Keeping me from sleep

Late at night when I am in bed

You are always in my head

Telling me I cannot do anything

Then asking me why I'm so lazy

You reach your arms out

As if to embrace me

Just to shove me down again 

"Go back to sleep"

Curling up by my side

Fingers tangled in my hair

Whispering softly in my ear

"You should just die"

Tears trickle down my face

"Don't be a victim" you say

Your fingers tighen their grip

Digging your fingers in 

You pull me up onto my feet

I'm hanging by the strands of my hair

Tossing me across the room

You spit venom into my face once more

"What are you even fighting for"?

Shaking, I struggle to stand 

Your face turns into a crooked glare

My gaze shifts slightly towards the door

Laughing hysterically you begin to mock

"You really want to go out there"?

"You cannot run from ME"

"Wherever you go that is where I will be"

"So leave then, if you think you can handle it"

"Go on, go pretend that you matter"

My knees collapse as I crumple onto the floor

Hands on my face I begin to scream

You soften your tone and lean in close

"There there child it's okay" 

"It's time you listen to what I've said"

"Those people out there are better off with you gone"

"How could they possibly love YOU after all"?

My lips tremble as I look into your eyes

I know that you are right

A smile creeps onto your face

Arms open wide again

I lean my head against your chest

As you dig your fingers into that place on my head

"You know what needs to be done"

I begin to protest but can only shake

Chuckling softly you tighten your grip

"You're much too weak but its okay"

"For now just go back to bed"

The tears fall until I'm overcome by sleep


It's you

It's always been you

Every day I wake up 

And every day you are there

I push and pull away from your grasp

But you only tighten your hands


I must continue to fight

To push forward 

To move

No matter how deep your claws dig in

I'll continue to rip them from my skin


















Author's Notes/Comments: 

It's been a very long time since I have written a poem, so forgive me I know it's nothing special. I want to get back into writing again and the only way to do that is to start. 

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My Beast


The tears fall,

Harder and faster,

My mind breaks,

Splits and fractures,

Torn in different ways,

How can I stay?

Im not wanted,

Useless and a burden,

Life seems meaningless,

Walked off the forest path,

Lost inside my own mind,

The cold,

Dark and forboding,

An icy chill with no wind,

Shattered sound in the distance,

The beast is coming,

Its knocking at my door,

Howling at the moon,

Eyes black with hate,

Pointy fangs grinning,

I want it to rip me apart,

Limb from limb,

Drink my body dry,

Savour the taste of my soul,

The destructive energy,

The unrelenting force,


Silver tongue gleaming,

A quick flick,

A red droplet escapes,

I feel the teeth sink in,

My flesh inviting this beast closer,

Deeper and deeper it bites,

Never looking away from my eyes,

It knows Im trapped,

Frozen to the spot,

My life ebbing slowly,

Each heartbeat a little fainter,

Drinking deep from my wrist,

The beast never misses another drop,

I can feel the tongue slicing,

My blood racing out,

The beast grins one last time,

It wants my soul,

A final meal,

Instead it leaves me there,

A pool of nothing,

Even my beast doesnt want me.

The Day My Heart Died


With this letter I say goodbye,

As the daylight fades to night,

Tears roll down my cheeks,

Pen trembles in my hand,

My lungs gasping for air,

The monsters under my bed,

The voices in my head,

Hypnotised by the shiny metal,

I feel numb and dead inside,

Totally zombified but without purpose,

Lies and lies that have been said,

Pumped full of chaos,

Traumatised by the outside,

For as long as I can remember,

I have wanted to die,

Feeding off my broken heart and mind,

Despair swirld round like smoke,

Emptiness becoming normal,

Fill my veins with formaldehyde,

The day has finally come,

The day my heart died.

The Omnipresent Grey

Tied to what is just too far

Far gone too late to stay

Still life still lies underwater
And above it? What is left in the shadowy

Light, the light, O light could not hold on

Reeds sliver under a full moon
Choreographed by the hues of sunset

How could you not love the concentric
Ripples, that must, O God dissipate

Can you see they fulfilled their promise?
At least a broken man became their final witness, and in his rotten timber,

Grey Cat, they called him
By hell I don't know, no-one got passed the

But tonight, under the silver moon
He waits for the last of civil twilight
The last call of the Loons
Of course they'll be back.

But Ol Grey Cat, who holds his 12 Guage tight
Tight, tighter,

You know the say the sunrise out on the lake this morning was pastel beauty - And boy,

I'm sure glad Ol Grey Cat got to draw every last colour into his Soul.

(c) 2022 Nick Purdon. For Grey Cat. 1942 - 2003

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Never Give Up

These words I write cannot contain

The anger, the guilt, nor the pain

Of losing someone you hold most dear


You went to her house for advice

You just complained, yelled and got frustrated

But she just listened, hearing every word

And now she's gone, gone, gone


You think about her constantly

She never leaves your heart, mind, or soul

Her advice was always solid

Her words blunt and meaningful

But now you can't hear them

She is just gone, gone, gone


We move on, hoping to hear her call our name

But she can't anymore

We hope to feel her grasp

But she is out of reach


Just remember where she resides now

In the darkest part of your heart

Waiting for you to ask again

When you find the words

When you heal


She's not here

She's not there

But she is everywhere

She. Is. Home.

She. Is. Happy.

She. Is. Always. Watching.




Always loving was her speech

She told you how it was out of love

She was there when you were a baby

She was there your whole life








The death of a loved one

Is an unending sadness

But never give up

They will watch you

Help you

Save you

Never give up!

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I lost my aunt in July. Sorry it took so long Tarolyn!! I love you

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