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I was taught 

To immerse, myself,

within…..

The night !

to meld…..

With the darkness.

To be …..absorbed,

into the void….

That the darkness 

creates. 

It’s a craft,

an art …..taught by, 

and, used 

By warriors 

Giajl © Jim Love  

Dont you ever give up.      

sometimes you feel like lifes going beyond your sight
the darkness is surounding you long into the night
but with the coming dawn you still feel like an empty cup
and dispite the pain you whisper dont you ever give up
day by day you muddle on some days better then the one before
with bad days you feel like you cant even walk out that door
but then good days make you feel like youve done many pushup
trying not to fall apart you still whisper dont you ever give up
as the day draws to an end you realise your still standing tall
and thinking of all the bad and the good youve had over all
you know with all certainty that your not gonna letup
falling asleep you smile and are glad that you never ever gave up

            zoey cup

I’ve proven people wrong before.

You are hardly an exception.

You said I should be single for a long time.

Venting to my friends who were right about you was the real medicine.

And plenty of boys say I’m a catch before they get to know who I am.

You said I need to grow up.

But you’re unemployed and you bash a girl that was slandered by her best friend.

I love being told what a snotty person I am both at work and when I’m with you.

You said I’m self-absorbed and immature.

I saved an artist you cruelly envied on his birthday from a debt that was killing him slow.

It was the best 30 pounds I ever spent this week because it was out of selfless love.

You said you deserve so much better than me.

You tried to gaslight me into thinking that no living soul is good enough for me.

You took the easy way out instead of bearing with me a little longer.

You said I don’t understand how relationships work.

That’s all you’re right about because what one person doesn’t find sexy might attract another.

So neither do you.

You said a piece of you will always love me.

You were just kidding yourself when you said that.

Some therapist you’re turning out to be, dearest.

It felt hazy that I pondered for days or even weeks

On how I was going to repay you for your compassion and charity.

You don’t deserve to know what I had planned for you.

If you somehow worm your way back into my life,

I won’t be crying my eyes out like the time when a bastard was unfaithful to you.

Instead, I will stand my ground like a rock and kick you in the crotch.

You had one opportunity to take things slow so we could get along.

But you’re not getting a second chance because I don’t trust you.

Does this explain why you claim I don’t love you?

Fast-forward to last week to the part where I started anew with another dude.

He’s a scary one that could do more damage to you than me.

He loves me for everything you hate about me.

He’s the kind of boy whose easy to set aside time for

While I hit the books and explore the world because he’s along for the ride.

I couldn’t be more attracted to him every time he touches me to say, “You’re mine.”

It’s not because he desires to put me on a leash and lock me up.

It’s because he understands where I’m coming from and he too thinks “give and take” is crap.

Yet, he loves me like the Holy Grail because he tells me that I’m the best part of every day to him.

Relationships are like snowflakes.

No two function the same way because people are complex creatures with different standards.

Yours certainly were a mystery and to this day, I wondered how it all went wrong.

Our final days were a thin line between love and hate.

I already know which direction you went.

That’s one thing you and the monsters in my nightmares have in common.

Are you ready for it?

I shouldn’t have to ask you that question after all that you have done.

It would’ve been rude of me not to give you a heads-up like this.

Your reign of terror is steps closer to its endgame.

If I do not draw my sword and face the ghosts of my past, checkmate is guaranteed.

I did something bad long ago, but can you blame me?

I’m just a human being that made a mistake because I was not in the right mind.

Anguish and love do not mix because both made my life worse before.

If you respect that my situation is delicate, why do you keep poking the hornet nest?

If you crack it open and the wasps sting you so much their poison burns,

don’t be surprised if I say, “Look what you made me do.”

Your empathy is lacking so why should I care if you are put to rest the next day?

Princes don’t negotiate with paupers like me.

So it goes because fame and violence are always placed above justice and peace.

Isn’t it gorgeous to be the one in control? To run a country or a sect without a care in the world?

Doesn’t it feel amazing when your subjects obey you unconditionally as if you are an almighty god?

These questions reveal to me that aristocrats and celebrities use their authority

for insolence and seduction. No wonder we can’t have nice things.

You are not entitled to my throne even though a liar was the king of my heart before.

What was “yes” today could be “no” tomorrow so I keep fewer promises.

I’ve heard enough empty platitudes from your devotees to realize that an oath is not to be made lightly.

Anything else you want to preach about before I take the getaway car to escape additional agony?

Go ahead and dress your possessive wiles by telling me you love me

And shower me with material goods to let my guard down against my better judgment.

But when you try to use your tenderness as leverage, it is all the more reason for me to leave.

The longer I stay here, the more certain it is that my life is in danger.

My hands are tied keeping the darkness around me at bay for as long as I can.

Fortune is never on my side when I dance, but my sword will always be my partner.

Call it what you want, but the battlefield is my ballroom.

If dancing alone is the only way I can retain my individuality, so be it.

Happy Raʼs as-Sanah al-Hijrīyah, Vlad Dracula.

I’ll see you in Hell.

When, 'I'm fine'

becomes your generic answer,

because you know well,

they don't really care about the truth.

When tears just randomly fall,

in a silent, steady succession

and you never knew

...you were even crying.

When you actually,

physically ache inside,

from being so bereft

of even simple human touch.

When the only times

your cries are even heard

by anyone who'd care,

is within' your own head.

When you just want to run-

just start running,

but knowing full well,

you've nowhere, and no one, to run.

When your own traitorous voice

calls out inside you, screaming:

'Outcast! Unlovable! Unworthy!

Why don't you fight back!?

What's wrong with you!???'

And you simply whisper back, 'I'm fine.'

Night And Day And Night

Only the dark sky

can show a sheen like velvet

during the nighttime

It's not you,

It's not me,

It's not him

It's the world that has been

sucking us back in

to the dark void it's yet to fill

devouring our rainbows and

any shade and trace of light

and everything we hold dear

It's not you

It's not me

It might be

the words of a madman that

have devoured me piece by piece

ever since

until I suffocate and dissolve

into the nothingness I feel

at 3 a.m.

And I'm sorry if you knew this only now.

It's not you

It's not him

It's the constant fear

that has built a home

out of the shanties of my heart

Pulling the strings,

the triggers

on its whim

And I'm sorry but it's already won the war, I believe

It's not you

It's not me

It's not him

It's the inevitability I cannot escape

And so in silence, I shall

roam this world and carry

the memories of us,

your buzzcut and my smile,

and the glow I basked on with

in that April afternoon.

Forget about me.

It's getting harder to remember

what I was like

before I was damaged,

before you tore me open

and forced your darkness in.

I have tried to get it out

by opening my skin

but there is always more

left deep within.