The Endless Cycle
© 2017 SachikoMochiko
Every mistake, loss, failure or breakdown…it’s your choice whether or not to suffer from it.
“I am a human. Just like you and me. I’m young, 13 years of age, but I already feel old. I have learnt that, whatever situation you are in now, it’s temporary. So, enjoy or endure it to the fullest!
Whether is another human, your passion or yourself, you fall for it. This poem I wrote is inspired by both my life and my fellow friends who write with me, sharing their stories. There are many different ways to view this poem. I spent many hours choosing how to structure this and the word choice. I wanted to share this to people who can relate and inspire other writers.”
I’m absolutely sick of falling
Falling in love and making the same mistake
Eaten by jealousy
Thinking that it would work
Even when that person who I sought,
Catches another
Thinking that they want you
Even if the kindness expressed is just…
Them.
Whenever I fall,
And no one sought me
I fall into a deep, cold abyss
Isolating both heart and body
From this rotting world
Suffocating me and myself
From thinking that I will fall again
But again, I find peace at the bottom…
Sitting just above the bedrock of grief
Where your screams of heart break
Is muted by the sea of tears
But I hunger to fall
To seek for another cradle of arms
After craving for so long
I trick myself
That my heart has moved on
To someone for me
But deep, deep down…
I know it is just a mask
A mask to cover the disheartening pain
And to keep me sane
As I walk amongst the beings
It’s an endless cycle…
A cycle that is deemed to run my world
My kingdom,
My psyche,
My crust,
Like a wheel with a tempting needle
Waiting to cast me to sleep
As it wheels me away to again start the cycle
Even if my consciousness is aware
I shrug it off thinking I’m happily a rolling pebble
A rolling pebble that has been dropped
Dropped into a saltwater sea of fish
Where plenty of fish swim to escape
Escape the rotting world above
I’m a pebble after all
I was meant to sink to the bottom
Or be split in half by the fish
But as the hundreds and thousands of centuries
Wear me down
My calloused, guarded heart cracks open
As the pressure of the rotting earth
I. Become. The. Diamond.
It was not long after,
I was extracted from the bedrock of grief
HEATED…
POLISHED…
Until the skin of this pebble
Peels like those onion that brought tears to my eyes
Someone has found the brightest part of me
Someone has found my beauty
Someone has also fallen…like me
In a mere emotion with two sides
Love
&
Hate
Well, congratulations that someone
Because you have found a rare one
Only one here on this earth
My mere gratitude cannot express…
Express how undeniably grateful I am
===
The two of us creates another;
“I’m absolutely sick of falling”,
she said…
-SachikoMochiko
She forgives them too quickly.
Never Ending Cycle
This life wrapped in disappointments
This life dressed in shame
These demons have surfaced
Hands red with blame
There comes a time to realize
You’re not who you tried to be
All the dreams you set on high
Forever lost at sea
Thoughts are a constant battle
Inside your own four walls
Questioning everything you’ve done
And if you’re worth anything at all
No longer in control
Drowning with the rain
Never more certain
That I’ve never been sane
Long gone is the gristle.
In its place, an impossible
white smoothness.
The maggots and worms
have long since moved on.
Jutting from its eye sockets
thorny stems reach skyward.
At the top sit a pair
of blood red roses.
The skull, once hideous and
holding grim memory,
has since given back to the land.
In return the land pushed up
two beauties, epitomes of grace.
I feel like every single thing is like a mind game, played and laid out for me
I can't feel a single thing, like I'm not blind, but I still can't see
What is it really? Perhaps it's not that important?
Tell me what it is, or is it just my own comportment?
I have walked in the very things I've looked down upon
What I once thought was selfish, now I too am wrong
and now there is blood all over my hand
But I have no idea why, I just don't understand
This is a complication called the human mind
Irony, double standards, hypocrisy, A place to be so blind
To wallow and loop in this thick puddle of shame
For the mistakes commited, I fairly wore the blame
Knowing is the beginning is something I suppose
It's better to learn, rather than to find it to oppose.
So I guess I'll take my feelings and throw them to the floor
I'll leave you where you originally were, trapped inside a closed door
And you can echo your goodbyes
as you embrace yourself to the ink of sheer ignorance and sighs..