memory

8. Ink Unspooled at the Threshold

This piece acts as a poignant nexus for many of the collection's themes. Through sectioned reflections, it revisits the fractured self, the indifferent world, and the heartfelt farewells, ultimately questioning what legacy remains when a life is unspooled. The Horatian epigraph, "Non omnis moriar," underscores the enduring hope for a legacy through art.

 The ink of our stories continues flowing even as we approach life’s most difficult crossroads. Photo by CHUTTERSNAP on Unsplash

 



Ink Unspooled at the Threshold


“Non omnis moriar.”

– Horace

 

Opening: Fractured Self

 

Who’s left, when the mirror spits back static-

A stutter of faces, a flicker, a fizz-

I am the echo in the stairwell,

A moth in the socket,

Spinning, spinning,

My mind a carousel of keys,

Jangling, clanging,

No lock to fit.

 

 

 

World’s Indifference

 

Listen-

The world grinds on,

A cold machine,

Its gears gnash,

Its eyes glass-green.

I’ve shouted into inboxes,

Tapping, tapping,

My pleas ricochet,

A hail on tin,

No answer in the static,

Only the hush of “no,”

And the hush is a hammer.

 

 

 

Farewell to Students

 

To you, my bright ones-

You, with your notebooks and nervous laughter,

You, who grew in the dark,

I leave the marrow of my meaning:

Let knowledge outpace the wolves.

Let your questions crack the shell

Of every easy answer.

Remember:

The world is not just,

But you can be.

Let your hope be a howl,

Let your laughter be a shield.

 

 

 

Farewell to Animals


Soft noses, feathered hush,

Paws in the hallway,

Heartbeat hush-

I’ve left the list, the food, the names,

The number for the vet,

A blanket folded,

A window cracked for sun.

Forgive me,

Forgive me-

Oh please - forgive me-

I have run out of doors.

 

 

 

Desperation and Decision

 

I have begged, I have borrowed,

I have bartered my sleep,

I have mapped every alley,

I have counted the sheep-

But the night keeps on gnashing,

And the dawn never breaks.

I am spent, I am scattered,

I am the last note the violin makes

Before the string snaps.

 

 

 

The Choice

 

So-

Snap.

The clock ticks,

The ink drips,

A hush falls,

A hush,

A hush.



 

Hope for Survivors

 

But I dream-

You, curled in a shaft of light,

You, laughing, learning,

You, safe in the hush of a home.

Let my leaving be a door,

Not a wall.

Let my words be a bridge,

Not a stone.

In the hush,

May you hear my hope.

 

 

 

Legacy

 

Ink unspooled,

Voice unspun.

I am the whisper in the rafters,

The pawprint in the dust,

The lesson half-remembered,

The love that lingers,

Even when the door shuts.

 

 

 

Closing: Release

 

So let these lines be lanterns-

Flicker, flutter,

Guide you through the gutter-murk,

Let them stutter,

Let them sing-

I am gone,

But in the hush,

A bell rings.

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

 

This piece acts as a poignant nexus for many of the collection’s themes. Through sectioned reflections, it revisits the fractured self, the indifferent world, and the heartfelt farewells, ultimately questioning what legacy remains when a life is unspooled. The Horatian epigraph, “Non omnis moriar,” underscores the enduring hope for a legacy through art.



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A MEMORY OF FILM EXTRA DAZE ON THE WATCHER

JUST A MEMORY OF MY  FILM EXTRA DAZE POPPED INTO MY HEAD AND MADE ME LAUGH...REGINACAST PICKED ME TO BE A FEATURED EXTRA ON THE WATCHER. I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A HOMELESS PERSON SO I FOUND AN OLD WORN WINTER COAT WITH A TORN POCKET AND DIDN'T WASH MY HAIR FOR A FEW DAYS AHEAD OF TIME AND DIDN'T BRUSH IT THAT MORNING. I BROUGHT A PAPER BAG FOR A WINE BOTTLE BUT PUT A WATER BOTTLE INSIDE OF IT JUST TO LOOK LIKE A WINO...THE WARDROBE GUY WAS IMPRESSED I BROUGHT MY OWN PROP AND SAID I WAS BRAVE TO GO ON CAMERA THE WAY I LOOKED WITH GREASY HAIR NOT BRUSHED AND STUFF. ENDED UP JUST WALKING DOWN THE STREET WITH MY  PSEUDO WINE BOTTLE. THEY PUT ME IN FRONT OF JAMES SPADER WALKING DOWN THE STREET IN FRONT OF HIM AND ANOTHER ACTOR BUT  I DIDN'T END UP IN THE SCENE...IN BETWEEN TAKES A HOMELESS GUY CAME UP TO ME AND ASKED ME IF I KNEW WHAT THEY WERE DOING AND I SAID I THINK THEY'RE FILMING A MOVIE OR SOMETHING....A CREW GUY CAME UP BEHIND ME AND GRABBED ME BY THE SHOULDERS AND PULLED ME AWAY AND SAID SHE'S WITH US....I LOOKED AT THE GUY AND SHRUGGED MY SHOULDERS...I GUESS I WAS IN CHARACTER CUZ HE THOUGHT I WAS A HOMELESS PERSON...HA HA....LATER ON I CHANGED MY COAT AND BRUSHED MY HAIR BACK AND PUT IT INTO A PONY TAIL AND WAS SITTING IN A RESTAURANT WITH A PLATE OF GREASY FOOD IN FRONT OF ME. JAMES SPADER WALKED OVER TO ME AND SAID  THAT LOOKED YUMMY AND I LAUGHED...I WAS LIKE O, YA, WANT SOME...HA HA...DON'T KNOW WHY THAT MEMORY POPPED INTO MY HEAD JUST THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE IT.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

JUST A MEMORY FROM MY FILM EXTRA DAZE THAT MADE ME LAUGH....TRUE STORY

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i guess i am writing about music again

Folder: 
2024

i am trying to separate

to tear the skin from the you

but the skin is music

and every song is a conjuring

 

i can’t listen to the ghosts or with them

but i am always drawn back

i can’t sing into their mouths

mouths without teeth that will swallow me whole

turn me into a pipeline

 

bedridden with all these psychedelic blankets

i yell out the window enough to be kurt cobain’s muse

sew banshees into my nailbeds

can’t tell if i want

modest animals or feral humans

interpolate the beat until i have made it something else

a song i have never heard

 

i yell out the ending to another story.

but is it an ending

or just a ceasefire.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 8/30/24

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Dear Chester

Folder: 
New Lyrics

 

Dear Chester,

The first time I heard you left

It put a huge void in my soul

Knowing I'd never hear your words again

Made me break down and lose control

 

And although you didn't know me

You inspired and you showed me

The side of you that's a part of me

The pain I felt in your melody

 

But your memory will never fade

You'll be remembered just the same 

Hmm, and no one else can take your place

And you should know this world won't be the same

 

Dear Chester,

I was a kid at your stage

But I have grown so much since then

And I still recall the crowd and the cheers

That amazing experience

 

And although you didn't know me

You inspired and you showed me 

The side of you that's a part of me 

The pain I felt in your melody 

 

But your memory will never fade

You'll be remembered just the same

Hmm, and no one else can take your place

And you should know this world won't be the same

 

And your energy 

Resonates with me

Set your spirit free

Set your spirit free

Set your spirit free

Set your spirit free

 

But your memory will never fade (set your spirit free)

You'll be remembered just the same (set your spirit free)

Hmm, and no one else can take your place (set your spirit free)

You should know that this world won't be the same

 

Dear Chester,

Dear Chester 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

 

6/14/24

 

This is my tribute/homage to Chester Bennington (vocals- Linkin Park) 3/20/1976 - 7/20/2017

 

R.I.P

 

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Timelines

Folder: 
2022
Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 4/11/22

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Remember When (January day 25)

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 1/25/21

Remember

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tags:

Cycle of Forgetting

Folder: 
2020
Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 9/15/20

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tags:

Georgia

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The Cupcake is a Lie

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