female
How, And Why?
It's been a while since I've seen you, been a while since I've heard from you.
Your face is the one thing I can still see, and your voice is the one thing I can still hear.
Mentally, I saw you walking, but you passed me, and didn't notice I was there.
I tried to call out to you, but you didn't hear me.
Once, I thought I loved you, everyone else seemed to think I did too.
But all I felt went away very quickly, like I knew it would.
When I met you, I was happy, we talked almost always, and it was great having someone to talk to.
You were there, when he wasn't.
I appreciate and love you for that.
I've tried to picture what it would be like if I was with you, what it would be like if I was yours instead of his.
Would I be happier? Would I experience what I'm not right now?
So many questions, and so many answers which I haven't found.
Everytime I am alone, I feel some sort of sadness, some sort of emptyness.
Not that it completely has to do with you or him, but I think more to do with the loneliness I've been living with.
Making myself believe things could be different every time I find someone new.
But, you know how it goes, and how its gone for me.
How to walk away from something seems easy, but sometimes, people struggle even when they know they have to let go.
Being with someone new is something I almost don't want to do again.
I don't want to tell anyone else stories of my past, and how I once was.
I don't want to do things and not keep it to myself.
I've always been a quiet and reserved girl, I've always been you could say, overly careful about who I allow to touch me.
Doing things with him, I grew comfortable with, and something I became okay with.
Doing things with you, I've questioned, and thought of, something I would've had to grow comfortable and okay with.
Could I ever do things with you, can I see myself doing things with you, and would I ever see and hear you again........but this time, for real?
I look at how other girls live their lives, and sometimes think of how they handle being physical.
How do they allow themselves to give their all to one guy, and then another after some time has passed?
is there never any regret? Is there never any fear and doubt?
Where does the trust comfort and idea of being okay with it come from?
If things go wrong, how are they able to allow themselves to do it again, and with someone else who isn't meant to be their someone?
And off the topic I wonder, how was someone like you, able to seemingly fall for me?
I am a damaged broken record you see.
What is there to possibly like about me, how can one like me, and why?
Even after trying to be with someone for 5 years, I still don't know why he chose me........but then there's you.
Why did you pick me? why havent you given up? Why do you still wish to have me?
What is there, aside from the reason to do with my body, to like about a woman like me?
TODAY’S WOMAN
Today’s woman is not a woman.
She’s a man
Who steps across my threshold by lure:
Who beguiles me into servile reticence
With the subtlety
Of a bloodless coup d’état.
She’s not like mama
Who bows with snow-white hair
To scrub the kitchen floor,
Who knows the right place
For the kettle and the pan
After each and every use,
Who still understands
The language of the suckling
That clutches up
At hay-dry breasts,
In whose charms and grace
Father still basks blessedly,
Whose gentle love
Gets the lion to crawl,
Whose kindness
We and the world trumpet
Upon mountain tops.
Today’s woman is not a woman.
She’s a man
Who hides granite balls
Under furry hide,
Who is more erudite than me,
And has become wiser also.
No wonder
She no longer
Stirs my balls,
Neither my brains.
But how could she?
She’s a man
Who does not cry tears
That melt the heart.
She’s a man
Full of bones and nerves.
The Amazing Hamilton
The Amazing Hamilton
A beautiful girl, named Hamilton B.
She went to the store, B. Hamilton shook.
Shock and awe, Hamilton could not believe it.
It was another, beautiful female.
Her name was Yuriah. They saw each other.
“Hello!”, said Hamilton. Much to her shock.
“Oh, hey!”, replied Yuriah blushing soft.
Two females star struck by their lovely gaze.
As Yuriah blush and Hamilton awe,
Their lips come together in strange appeal.
They sing and they dance all through the midnight
They laugh and they cry running side by side.
It comes to the end, the fade of their day.
“Yuriah, oh Yuriah, won’t you stay?”
Yig - The Deadly Snake
Yig went out of my head,
Wasn't I so sad?
In me male and female snake,
O Yig, please don't be awake.
Fastly in the taxi they put me
O let dead not have me!
But dead again I went,
This is what Nyarlathotep meant.
O in anger and wrath I don't want to be,
A female snake in each human you see.
So Tawil took them all out,
And dropped to the floor humans about.
Zombies were left on the Earth
Everything dead, everything burned.
Ghosts, robotic humans by aliens controlled,
This story was never before told...
Yig, The Deadly Snake
Yig went out of my head,
Wasn't I so sad?
In me male and female snake,
O Yig, please don't be awake.
Fastly in the taxi they put me
O let dead not have me!
But dead again I went,
This is what Nyarlathotep meant.
O in anger and wrath I don't want to be,
A female snake in each human you see.
So Tawil took them all out,
And dropped to the floor humans about.
Zombies were left on the Earth
Everything dead, everything burned.
Ghosts, robotic humans by aliens controlled,
This story was never before told...