resilience

A hand full of air

Something stirring 

A cautious hover 

Over a breaking smile 

gratitude spills 

tumbling over the reverently held ether 

life lives here, moistened with 

Blood, sweat, Tears and rain 

Every fall a rise 

Like the breath of providence 

A dip left 

A twist right 

the rhythm of life inspires dance,

Poetry, art, music and song  

Like air slipping over chords

Sacred Verbage 

Vibration 

Your hands are never empty 

There is no void, 

There is only the appearance of nothing 

Which by the mere thought is even something 

So grab on tight!

Even when it seems there is no thing

it really is something, isn't it? 

Oh what we see, be and do when nothing is impossible! 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Yes, yes you can! 

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You Were Never the Victim

Wow, this is the best poetry book in the world.

I love how deep it is.

That one poem is so funny my heart skipped a beat.

I couldn’t take my eyes off of the pages.

And the most amazing part is,

It sucked.

A lot.

 

Who were you expecting, a white knight?

I’ve heard these jokes before in checkout lanes.

And the customers in front of me never knew you existed.

 

I’m not that pretentious.

But you are.

 

I do not have double standards.

But you do.

 

Someone whose castle is built on mediocrity can’t scare me into hiding.

But someone else might be.

 

The moat is heavily guarded by trolls that can ruin their lives

If they refuse to walk on eggshells around you.

 

I keep pointing out your flaws

But you never even see them.

Instead, you fired a bomb into the crowd

And ecstatically handed the cannon to me.

 

You impersonate a traumatized child so onlookers would feel bad for you

And point their fingers at me at the drop of the hat,

Leaving me with nothing else to say in my defense.

I’m beginning to believe you love the drama more than you love your craft.

You’ve thrown burnt bridges in the wind today and I’m off to the pen,

But I’ll let you have your fun for now.

 

I have stowed away in the back of the truck to escape my sentence,

But I’ve come back to fight you with a rocket.

 

I’ve been ready for perfect storms since my old flame tried to kill himself.

And pinned the blame on me because he wanted me all to himself.

I have nothing to lose if you play the “defenseless child” act again.

 

You may have been one locked in a tower once upon a time.

But you grew up to be a dragon and imprisoned someone else.

It’s not my fault that you made yourself look worse.

It’s yours.

You can stop lying to me now.

I know you were never the victim.

You Don't Know Me (Reprise)

I’ve proven people wrong before.

You are hardly an exception.

 

You said I should be single for a long time.

Venting to my friends who were right about you was the real medicine.

And plenty of boys say I’m a catch before they get to know who I am.

 

You said I need to grow up.

But you’re unemployed and you bash a girl that was slandered by her best friend.

I love being told what a snotty person I am both at work and when I’m with you.

 

You said I’m self-absorbed and immature.

I saved an artist you cruelly envied on his birthday from a debt that was killing him slow.

It was the best 30 pounds I ever spent this week because it was out of selfless love.

 

You said you deserve so much better than me.

You tried to gaslight me into thinking that no living soul is good enough for me.

You took the easy way out instead of bearing with me a little longer.

 

You said I don’t understand how relationships work.

That’s all you’re right about because what one person doesn’t find sexy might attract another.

So neither do you.

 

You said a piece of you will always love me.

You were just kidding yourself when you said that.

Some therapist you’re turning out to be, dearest.

 

It felt hazy that I pondered for days or even weeks

On how I was going to repay you for your compassion and charity.

You don’t deserve to know what I had planned for you.

 

If you somehow worm your way back into my life,

I won’t be crying my eyes out like the time when a bastard was unfaithful to you.

Instead, I will stand my ground like a rock and kick you in the crotch.

 

You had one opportunity to take things slow so we could get along.

But you’re not getting a second chance because I don’t trust you.

Does this explain why you claim I don’t love you?

 

Fast-forward to last week to the part where I started anew with another dude.

He’s a scary one that could do more damage to you than me.

He loves me for everything you hate about me.

He’s the kind of boy whose easy to set aside time for

While I hit the books and explore the world because he’s along for the ride.

 

I couldn’t be more attracted to him every time he touches me to say, “You’re mine.”

It’s not because he desires to put me on a leash and lock me up.

It’s because he understands where I’m coming from and he too thinks “give and take” is crap.

Yet, he loves me like the Holy Grail because he tells me that I’m the best part of every day to him.

 

Relationships are like snowflakes.

No two function the same way because people are complex creatures with different standards.

Yours certainly were a mystery and to this day, I wondered how it all went wrong.

Our final days were a thin line between love and hate.

I already know which direction you went.

That’s one thing you and the monsters in my nightmares have in common.

The Skies Have Never Been Greyer

The skies have never been greyer.

I don’t heal from mental scars overnight.

Neither do you.

I overthink small problems and I wither when I make mistakes.

So do you.

It made me smile that we have our own inner demons.

It gave me the realization that I would not be alone.

 

When two broken hearts get together,

I often dream that they are matches made in heaven.

Because we understand where we’ve been

And why these circumstances made us the way we are.

But in every relationship, it is the furthest thing from paradise.

It won’t be the last time that we’d be walking on thin ice.

 

You are a sweetheart to me and I won’t forget the way you changed my life.

You’ve inspired me to meet icons whose wealth exceeds my wildest dreams.

You’ve helped me see that they’re human beings just like you and me.

You’ve given me pieces of you to keep me on my feet and explore uncharted territory in Wonderland.

You’ve compelled me to think that you wouldn’t ask for much as long as I said,

“I love you. My life wouldn’t be the same without you.” every night.

You constantly worry you lose me and that nothing in life goes right for you.

I keep trying to do my own thing while battling the sergeants that disagree with my decisions.

Don’t let our fickle position be added to my list of never-ending burdens.

 

Sometimes I stay the best of friends with people I was fond of before.

I’m never the “love them and leave them” type as long as I’m still on good terms with them

And remind myself that the past is in the past and no one is taking me anywhere.

Not that anyone could anyway as long as I make a living trying to tell nectarines and peaches apart.

Tonight when I talked about it with you, the way I opened up to you was like stepping in a land mine.

I don’t want to keep secrets from you so you wouldn’t fear I’d leave you to drown in a vale of tears.

But I’ll lock them up and throw away the key if I’m put on the spot like this.

Then I wouldn’t let you touch me the way you do now.

 

I’ve learned many hard lessons from falling in love and interpreting one’s intentions.

One taught me that it’s pointless to disguise odium as empathy.

One taught me that I can never choose what the love of my life gets offended by.

One taught me not to rely too heavily on my other half lest I lose my ability to solve problems.

One taught me not to sacrifice too much when making a commitment.

One taught me that there’s more to life than shotgun weddings and procreation.

One taught me to love who I am before I can give my light to others.

A lost boy who’s a year away from adulthood has given me his by sharing his own disappointments

Yet he still has the heart to resurrect the brotherly side that I had previously lost to a poisonous fable.

 

I know I want to love

And I want to be loved in return

But I am a free spirit and close friends mean the world to me.

I never see myself as a “give and take” kind of bloke

All because the little things in life are what matters more to me.

Who would want a lover like that?

 

I am sorry that you feel the way you do, but no matter what the future brings,

I’ll always love you and be indebted to your compassion.

I swear on the grave of my jewel and cousin, I wish you the best in life

Whether I spend mine with you or not.

The skies have never been greyer.

Frivolity in the Midst of Danger

Come on, take my hand.

There’s a stunning carnival

Right in front of us.

 

It lights up the night

Like a group of fireflies.

 

Don’t you see that we have

A chance to rule the night?

 

So what are you waiting for?

 

There’s lots to do.

So much to see.

Our hearts will guide us.

No point in holding back now.

 

We only live once.

We can’t waste this time away.

The night is so young,

But baby, so are we at heart.

 

The park is stunning.

It’s everything that

I dreamed of.

Why did I delay before?

 

Now that I’m grown up,

There’s no chains to hold me down.

 

Come on, take my hand.

The rest of our lives await!

 

Why are you so scared?

Is the rotating wheel barrel blocking our path?

Did the power outage cause your heart to beat so loud?

 

Intensive moments build up character and bravery.

Your fears are below you now.

 

The storm may have

Crashed the party,

 

But that’s not how I see it.

Being so close to danger

 

Puts what we’ve learned to the test.

So let’s stand our ground.

And not wait until tomorrow.

 

The park is stunning.

It’s everything that

I dreamed of.

Why did I delay before?

 

Now that I’m grown up,

There’s no chains to hold me down.

 

Come on, take my hand.

The rest of our lives await!

Nothing but a Fable

Happily ever after doesn’t exist.

Not when people like you also exist.

I bought myself a new suit of armor so you don’t drive another knife in my back.

I told the vendor to hold the stallion because human legs were never for aesthetic purposes.

 

I wanted to walk the face of the Earth with you using my own.

We would’ve walked more than a thousand miles together to chase the sun and avoid the night.

And I never needed to worry about my tired legs.

They built up a tolerance from walking in the coastal sand and helping me keep up with dirty dishes.

 

I told you about my demons and how quickly I am to care when I’m shown an act of kindness.

Mother always lectured me that no matter how small they may be, they are never in vain.

But there is such a thing as being too kind. There is such a thing as temptation.

The best of us cave in once, twice, or maybe more than that when we write in our diaries.

 

You were like such a book to me and I trusted you, but never did I expect that you’d defile my soul

By persuading me to partake in activities that I would never in my right mind do.

I should have recalled the fable of a girl who trusted a poltergeist that haunted a similar diary.

Had I not flee the moment I saw your true character, I would have joined her in death.

 

Looking back, I understand that diaries are the keys to starting fires and turning innocents into fugitives.

You can try with all your might to pry my mouth open to get me to spill any more beans

But my lips are staying sealed because I know who you really are and I finally learned my lesson.

You never exposed me. You only leaked a chapter that was part of a book you never read.

 

So why bother showing it to you knowing that my real friends and family will be endangered as well?

I know that a deluded man gambled away so much ammo to the vipers that he became a trainwreck.

I swear on my recurring nightmares that any answers to your questions will be used against me.

Truth and justice is a concept invented by people and after all, people do make mistakes.

 

God bless the right to remain silent.

Because even the condemned understand that its value supersedes a vault of gold

That the draconian blackjack dealers steal from the poor that desire to play with them.

Where was Robin Hood when I needed him most?

 

Flash forward to a single year and I’m now twenty-five with an art degree in hand.

I’ve spent all that time studying my ass off and avoiding the vipers that plague my past.

I was with my true friends who never give a shit about your deceit when I realized I never needed you.

Preparing for financial exams under the tutelage of a bright mathematician was like you never existed.

 

So the next time you see me, I won’t grovel on the pavement begging you to take me back.

Instead, I’ll look the other way and French kiss my new admirer in front of you.

Just to let you know that I changed for the better and you missed out on the life we could’ve had.

I am fortunate to understand that your absence last summer turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

 

I dare you to call me an idiot again!

I dare you to call me a chicken!

I dare you to say that I’m going down

While you hide behind the blackjack dealers that love you for show!

 

There’s always someone out there willing to give you a taste of your own medicine anyway.

How did it feel when even Discordia didn’t want anything to do with you?

Was it salty and sour like your attitude and your deceit?

Cavities caused by the consumption of these candies are a pain for dentists to fill.

 

And just like that, you disappeared from the face of the Earth again. Hopefully, for good this time.

You can erase your identity from the world, but you cannot erase the marks your venom left behind.

You may still be on my mind from time to time, but I don’t see you in a virtuous light anymore.

You are nothing but a fable.

I Am Never Alone

You’ve done it again. You’ve done it again, mate.

You went back on your word when you promised you’d stick with me in the long run.


Even if our passion moved far too quickly at first.

Before it simmered down to give us time to intercept our demons.

 

It should’ve been the other way around.

In an age where I can’t see your face nor can I hold your hand,

 

It’s become a force of habit that I wish I could stop partaking in.

I love too quickly because I am a freak scared of being molded into something I’m not.

 

Regardless of my desire, I still have to know what goes on in your own life.

That either excites you, scares you, angers you, saddens you, and soothes you.

 

I’d have to appreciate you before my infatuation gets the better of me and it evolves into love.

I never planned to stop caring even after finding out your weight was dangerously high.

 

I was reassured that you planned to take care of yourself, but you never knew that.

You didn’t know what to do nor what to say when I didn’t find out about your size sooner.

 

You didn’t want to shove me away, but you did.

You didn’t want to hurt me, but you did.

 

You said you were interested in me, but you weren’t.

You said you weren’t in it for short-term happiness, but you were.

 

All because you turned your back on me when I was willing to keep you tight regardless.

You are such a damn fraud that vies for a sugar bowl that I am fighting tirelessly to keep.

 

How many sorries does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I could let you know when you get it to turn on.

But how can I notify you if you severed ties with me?

Since you ran away, an apology is as empty as your soul.

 

You turned out to be just like your exes and here I am, telling you, “Fuck your love quest.”

It’s not like you’re going to take it again anytime soon nevertheless.

 

Lonely pieces of crap only want to love when they wish for an early death.

Were you trying to gasp for air when the ocean took away your breath?

 

If you’re still wondering why you’ll never find love, I’ve got bad news for you.

The way you made my heart beat for you until you made a crack in it is the answer to your question.

 

You may never know this about me because I don’t always realize it myself.

But when I embrace a soul whose loyalty and compassion is unbreakable,

 

I realize that I am never alone.

They may face obstacles and heartaches of their own, but they never let them tear them apart.

 

One day, I’ll find love of my own and I continue to pray that it will be as true as my friendships.

What a shame that you’ll never see that I am never alone.

The Game of Struggle

Folder: 
Dusk's Rule

While falling into a dark hole,

Hands out--uncertain where's the floor,

Just waiting to land a roll,

Thoughts of after, being sore,

 

Pressure building, pressure crushing,

It threatens to crack and split,

All fibers of spirit and breath,

Sense of permanent rushing,

Losing the mind, losing wit,

It is either life or death,

 

Fight back, rise up, resolve, 

Either let the pressure break,

Not crack, but craft willpower,

Do not devolve, simply evolve, 

Don't give in, just take,

It shouldn't be the final hour. 

 

Challenge the fall, the descension, 

Reverse the course, set sail,

Drive to be upon acension, 

Death no longer strikes pale, 

 

The face that is cut to stone, 

Mending all the broken bone, 

The spirit, mind, will found strength, 

To strive beyond all length, 

 

The markers of limitations,

Of the possibilities,

Against all disabilities,

Building new foundations, 

 

Out of the intense pressure, 

Carved out of the rough,

A diamond none fresher, 

One that will resist all scuff,

 

Not by avoiding being cut,

But as one to abuse the rut,

And become something more,

--Always finding another door. 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

To meet resistance should be matched with equal resilience. 

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