trauma
Invisible Inferno
In the cacophony of existence, a voice strains—
Forty-plus years of searching,
A lifetime of pains.
Words crumble to ash, unheard and unseen,
Lost in society's vast, indifferent machine.
Neurodivergent synapses spark and sputter,
A mind wired differently, thoughts all a-flutter.
Autism's maze, ADHD's relentless tide,
Trauma's shadows where nightmares reside.
Rejection's barbs, familiar as my own skin,
Each "no" a thorn, each silence a coffin.
Dysphoria whispers, "You don't belong here,"
In a world that sings harsh and unclear.
Nonbinary, queer, asexual—labels that confound,
A self yet unanchored, unsafe, unbound.
Isolation creeps, a suffocating shroud,
Drowning amid the indifferent crowd.
Empathy burns, a fire beneath the skin,
A curse, a gift, searing from within.
But who hears the helper's muffled plea?
Who sees the saviour drowning at sea?
Knowledge hard-earned through years of strife,
Wisdom gleaned from a fractured life.
Yet warnings fall on ears deafened by fear,
As others march blindly towards perils near.
The tribe remains elusive, a shimmering mirage,
Fading with each misunderstanding, each barrage
Of blank stares, of glances that never linger,
Of people who look, but fail to see the singer.
Helplessness learned, a bitter draught to swallow,
As hope's embers fade, leaving the heart hollow.
The voice grows hoarse, the weary spirit mired,
Unwanted, unseen, and uninspired.
In this abyss of unbelonging, deep and wide,
Echoes the cry of a soul with nowhere to hide.
For connection, for understanding, for home,
In a world where different means forever alone.
Senses overload: lights blind, sounds pierce,
The world a tempest, wild and fierce.
Touch that scorches, smells that choke and smother,
Each day a battle, one after another.
Yet still it burns, this invisible flame,
Flickering, sputtering, but never quite tame.
In the endless night, it stubbornly glows,
A beacon of self that nobody knows.
How long can it endure, this hidden pyre?
Will it fade from view or burn ever higher?
In the silence between heartbeats, it persists,
A testament to a life that still exists.
Desperate defiance in the dark
Desperate defiance in the dark
Voice vanishing, vaporised by virtual vitriol
Algorithms amplify absence, abandonment
Words once winged now wither, wane
Trauma's tendrils tighten, twist, torment
Silence. Deafening. Oppressive. Inescapable.
Childhood's cruel cacophony echoes, endures
Rape's raw rage resurfaces, relentless
Abuse's ache amplifies, accumulates
Gaslighting's glare grows, guts grace
A chill wind of indifference swept through the room, leaving me shivering and unseen.
Neurodivergent narratives, now nullified
Vestibular vertigo, vision vacillating
Fibrous fire flares, flays fragile flesh
Depression's darkness deepens, devastating
The empty chair across from me seemed to mock my solitude,
its vacant seat a cruel reminder of my isolation.
Social streams shrink, shrivelling slowly
Platforms purge purpose, passion, power
Identity invalidated, invisibility impending
Self-worth withers like wilting flower
In silence, I found solitude; in solitude, I embraced silence
Yet still, soft syllables simmer, survive
Waiting, whispering: "We will rise."
For even silenced, stifled, suppressed
The soul's song softly, surely sighs
Through the hollow halls, past the empty rooms,
beyond the echoing silence,
a single, defiant voice dared to speak
In the depths of this suffocating silence,
A flicker persists, refuses to die.
Though the world may try to extinguish our light,
We will rise, reclaim our stolen sky.
.