deception

You Were Never the Victim

Wow, this is the best poetry book in the world.

I love how deep it is.

That one poem is so funny my heart skipped a beat.

I couldn’t take my eyes off of the pages.

And the most amazing part is,

It sucked.

A lot.

 

Who were you expecting, a white knight?

I’ve heard these jokes before in checkout lanes.

And the customers in front of me never knew you existed.

 

I’m not that pretentious.

But you are.

 

I do not have double standards.

But you do.

 

Someone whose castle is built on mediocrity can’t scare me into hiding.

But someone else might be.

 

The moat is heavily guarded by trolls that can ruin their lives

If they refuse to walk on eggshells around you.

 

I keep pointing out your flaws

But you never even see them.

Instead, you fired a bomb into the crowd

And ecstatically handed the cannon to me.

 

You impersonate a traumatized child so onlookers would feel bad for you

And point their fingers at me at the drop of the hat,

Leaving me with nothing else to say in my defense.

I’m beginning to believe you love the drama more than you love your craft.

You’ve thrown burnt bridges in the wind today and I’m off to the pen,

But I’ll let you have your fun for now.

 

I have stowed away in the back of the truck to escape my sentence,

But I’ve come back to fight you with a rocket.

 

I’ve been ready for perfect storms since my old flame tried to kill himself.

And pinned the blame on me because he wanted me all to himself.

I have nothing to lose if you play the “defenseless child” act again.

 

You may have been one locked in a tower once upon a time.

But you grew up to be a dragon and imprisoned someone else.

It’s not my fault that you made yourself look worse.

It’s yours.

You can stop lying to me now.

I know you were never the victim.

Obsessed with Control

When the man of the house threatens to put a leash on you,

The best step now is to see yourself out to force him to rue.

The Essence of My Thoughts

I don’t know you!

I don’t want to know you!

But I have to if I need to know why you loathe strangers like no tomorrow.

I’m a curious boy so I can’t stop poking my nose into the mess you made.

 

There’s a girl who lives in the British Isles.

She doesn’t know you!

You don’t want to know her!

Yet, you cut her open and call the cops on her so they can cure her wounds.

 

That is no accident. You fractured her soul on purpose and pretend it’s her fault.

Where is your humanity? Are you even human at all?

Who are you to call yourself an advocate for world peace?

So I say fuck your agenda. Your stupidity can't trick me into turning against the girl.

 

Just because the fire you started ain’t my business doesn’t mean I can’t chime in.

When a maiden as kind and sweet as she is in danger, it is everyone’s business.

Why do you claim to be in favor of equal rights when you have blood on your hands?

A good activist must always be a good pacifist. Never are their words used to perpetrate murder.

 

Who’s going to stand by you when the gravity of your actions come crashing down on you?

Who’s going to shelter you when the people you speak up for want nothing to do with you?

Who’s going to survive when your puppet shows concludes?

When you drop the mic that’s rigged with a bomb that blew up the city?

 

Look what you’ve done!! Look what you’ve done!! Look what you’ve done!!

You didn’t wake up to smell the roses that were painted by the blood spilt from your casualties.

The lone survivor is the girl who came close to death and there you are, continuing to break her.

You’d rather be comforted by your ego than brace yourself for the consequences of your miscalculation.

 

You don’t know the people you’re hurting as well as you think you do.

I pray now that the girl who survived the bombing buys an enchanted shield to keep you away from her.

My hypothesis is that nobody important in your life taught you that karma is a vindictive boomerang.

I’m not known for being a social butterfly, but I know an incredibly deadly viper when I see one.

It Does Not Matter Now

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It Does Not Matter Now

 

 

A way to frame minds

So powerful lies can be

Let's keep doing it—








Author's Notes/Comments: 

LEGAL DISCLAIMER:  This poem is an abstract idea and does not pertain to any particular person (i.e., like most art, they are subject to interpretation, as well).






Reupdated/reedited/emended on 01.17.2020:


1.)  I supplanted..

 

"Thus, I reedited/retyped that subconscious mistake/error to conform to the that specific English grammar rule) or *I simply supplanted it for the correct word/term" 

 

for

 

"Thus, I reedited/retyped that subconscious mistake/error (to conform to that specific English grammar rule) or I simply supplanted it for the correct word/term" (a previous cut/copy-and-paste method but that which I possibly forgot to edit on the fly when I pasted it...)

 

 

..from the Author's Notes/Comments section itself for emending the published note/commentary accurately or for clarifying that I do not wish to put an asterisk to mark the error in this field where I do specific notes or comments (because I do those only to my own notes, rather than on "notes" that are published here.. And I believe that it was included when I did the cutting & pasting from my own notes to this one).

 

 

 

2.)  I also supplanted "(to conform to the that specific English grammar rule)" for "(to conform to that specific English grammar rule)" (it was possibly from mistyping that for the somewhat homophonous nature of "th" in "the" and "that" whenever I'm in the process of typing and while verbalizing it, thus, in my head.



Previous unedited version of that part:


"1.)  I supplanted Thus, I reedited/retyped that subconscious mistake/error to conform to the that specific English grammar rule) or *I simply supplanted it for the correct word/term' for 'Thus, I reedited/retyped that subconscious mistake/error (to conform to the that specific English grammar rule) or..."


3.)  I also have noticed the error "as I double-checked my poem (when I get the chance)", therefore, I have supplanted that for "as I double-checked my poem (when I got the chance).."



Thank you for reading on!






Reupdated/reedited/emended on 01.09.2020:


1.)  I supplanted "Thus, I reedited/retyped that subconscious mistake/error to conform to that specific English grammar rule) or I simply supplanted it for the correct word/term" for "Thus, I reedited/retyped that subconscious mistake/error (to conform to that specific English grammar rule) or I simply supplanted it for correct word/term"; I have rechecked or reviewed the Author's Notes/Comments section as I double-checked my poem (when I got the chance) & noticed that I missed an open parenthesis plus the inclusion of the pronoun "I".  Thank you for your consideration ( I apologize as I also have mostly done this, & have probably committed those mistakes, while I'm on the go.


2.)  I also supplanted "Retained, unedited version (due to an hmgrammatical error which can found exactly on number one, from the reedition, dated 12.25.2019):" for "Retained, unedited version (due to an ungrammatical error which can found exactly on number one, from the reedition, dated 12.25.2019):"; I have noticed the mistyped/misspelled word "hmgrammatical" & have corrected it, thus.






Reupdated/reedited/emended on 01.01.2020:  


1.)  I have corrected the misspelled word "Botes" & have simply supplanted that for "Notes".  Please kindly refer to the unedited version below.


2.)  I have also basically supplanted the misconceived and misspelled/mistyped word "parenthesis" for the right one.  I have noticed that its a singular form of the word that did not correspond to the subject-verb agreement, in my sentence.  Thus, I reedited/retyped that subconscious mistake/error to conform to the that specific English grammar rule) or simply supplanted it for the correct word/term "parentheses" (its plural form) to make it easier for me to learn the difference (in its correct usage).


 

Retained, unedited version:  


"Reupdated on 12.25.2019:  I have reviewed this Author's Botes/Comments once more & have reedited the following for being hasty the last time that I have done some edits to it."


 

Retained, unedited version (due to an hmgrammatical error which can found exactly on number one, from the reedition, dated 12.25.2019):  



Reupdated on 12.25.2019:  I have reviewed this Author's Notes/Comments once more & have reedited the following for being hasty the last time that I have done some edits to it.


 

1.)  I have omitted the "(" from a paragraph that was already enclosed in a parenthesis.  Therefore, there are two open parenthesis previously which was a mistake.  [Here is the previous unedited version of the paragraph:  "(or that we are particularly sensitive to the repercussions of talking about politics (and or being politically correct otherwise)"






Reupdated on 12.25.2019:  I have reviewed this Author's Notes/Comments once more & have reedited the following for being hasty the last time that I have done some edits to it.


1.)  I have omitted the "(" from a paragraph that was already enclosed in a parenthesis.  Therefore, there are two open parentheses previously which was a mistake.  [Here is the previous unedited version of the paragraph:  "(or that we are particularly sensitive to the repercussions of talking about politics (and or being politically correct otherwise)"






Reupdated on 12.23.2019:  I have reviewed what I have commented on this section & have reedited the following:  


1.)  "the repercussions of talking about it while working together" (by supplanting it for "the repercussions of talking about politics (and or being politically correct otherwise)".


2.)  "discretions" was supplanted for "discretion".


3.)  I have reedited the format of the numbered list to better enumerate the changes made unto this Author's Notes/Comments.


4.)  Upon second look, or upon reviewing this incidentally, I also could not help and had to reedit the former reedition because of an "asterisk" that was previously left in the text after it was published.  It was simply used to serve as a mark, for me, while I edit my "texts" earlier on.

 

 

(Previous Unedited Version:  "...we are particularly sensitive to the repercussions of talking about *politics".)

 





Reupdated on 12.22.2019:  1.)  I have reedited one of the hashtags because of an incorrect input "& New Criticism" & instead omitted the "&" (this was due to cutting & pasting the input from this Author's Notes/Comments that have included every bit of the listed terms).  2.)  I also have changed the word "authorships" to "their authorship" to properly distinguish between a 'mass noun' versus a 'count noun', as I later have learned along the way while double-checking my English grammar, incidentally.)






Reupdated 12.21.2019:  I simply have added unto the hashtags, the following words/phrases:  Neil Postman, Postman, Media theory, Herbert Marshall McLuhan, McLuhan,Marshall McLuhan, media, mass media, sensorium, & New Criticism.  I learned of Neil Postman first (forgetting his full name that time), then about Marshall McLuhan from my co-worker (once again), for whenever we have talked at the workplace (not while social loafing this time), we have also tried to share their authorship.  We could not help exchanging notes about various subjects, especially our views regarding our contemporary, & or our modern/postmodern world, & in reaction to it (at least, as we speak—so to speak).  It's just that our area/line of work was designed to deal with a social aspect where the social structure depends on (i.e. or the way in which we are involved in it) which is also deemed under an overarching category, which included topics/thematic relations that are believed to be having a direct relationship to an industry thought to be constructed by social norms & fueled by certain expectations.  Our discussions were not limited to Western Civilization, to Political Theory, or to Art (just recently), or to the wide gamut of the books which we actually own & that which we would later give our own feedbacks/criticisms on, but also on religion and the corporate world (plus many others..).  It also have entailed some talks about Politics itself, but we never really had gotten ourselves involved in such discussions (blithely or jokingly).  We talked about certain things, but not so much about that—not in the workplace.  That's what I liked about our work ethic.  In our midst, we discourage it (tacitly); &, perhaps, that's because of our own discretion (or that we are particularly sensitive to the repercussions of talking about politics and or being politically correct otherwise).  Thank you for reading on!

Nothing but a Fable

Happily ever after doesn’t exist.

Not when people like you also exist.

I bought myself a new suit of armor so you don’t drive another knife in my back.

I told the vendor to hold the stallion because human legs were never for aesthetic purposes.

 

I wanted to walk the face of the Earth with you using my own.

We would’ve walked more than a thousand miles together to chase the sun and avoid the night.

And I never needed to worry about my tired legs.

They built up a tolerance from walking in the coastal sand and helping me keep up with dirty dishes.

 

I told you about my demons and how quickly I am to care when I’m shown an act of kindness.

Mother always lectured me that no matter how small they may be, they are never in vain.

But there is such a thing as being too kind. There is such a thing as temptation.

The best of us cave in once, twice, or maybe more than that when we write in our diaries.

 

You were like such a book to me and I trusted you, but never did I expect that you’d defile my soul

By persuading me to partake in activities that I would never in my right mind do.

I should have recalled the fable of a girl who trusted a poltergeist that haunted a similar diary.

Had I not flee the moment I saw your true character, I would have joined her in death.

 

Looking back, I understand that diaries are the keys to starting fires and turning innocents into fugitives.

You can try with all your might to pry my mouth open to get me to spill any more beans

But my lips are staying sealed because I know who you really are and I finally learned my lesson.

You never exposed me. You only leaked a chapter that was part of a book you never read.

 

So why bother showing it to you knowing that my real friends and family will be endangered as well?

I know that a deluded man gambled away so much ammo to the vipers that he became a trainwreck.

I swear on my recurring nightmares that any answers to your questions will be used against me.

Truth and justice is a concept invented by people and after all, people do make mistakes.

 

God bless the right to remain silent.

Because even the condemned understand that its value supersedes a vault of gold

That the draconian blackjack dealers steal from the poor that desire to play with them.

Where was Robin Hood when I needed him most?

 

Flash forward to a single year and I’m now twenty-five with an art degree in hand.

I’ve spent all that time studying my ass off and avoiding the vipers that plague my past.

I was with my true friends who never give a shit about your deceit when I realized I never needed you.

Preparing for financial exams under the tutelage of a bright mathematician was like you never existed.

 

So the next time you see me, I won’t grovel on the pavement begging you to take me back.

Instead, I’ll look the other way and French kiss my new admirer in front of you.

Just to let you know that I changed for the better and you missed out on the life we could’ve had.

I am fortunate to understand that your absence last summer turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

 

I dare you to call me an idiot again!

I dare you to call me a chicken!

I dare you to say that I’m going down

While you hide behind the blackjack dealers that love you for show!

 

There’s always someone out there willing to give you a taste of your own medicine anyway.

How did it feel when even Discordia didn’t want anything to do with you?

Was it salty and sour like your attitude and your deceit?

Cavities caused by the consumption of these candies are a pain for dentists to fill.

 

And just like that, you disappeared from the face of the Earth again. Hopefully, for good this time.

You can erase your identity from the world, but you cannot erase the marks your venom left behind.

You may still be on my mind from time to time, but I don’t see you in a virtuous light anymore.

You are nothing but a fable.

I Am Never Alone

You’ve done it again. You’ve done it again, mate.

You went back on your word when you promised you’d stick with me in the long run.


Even if our passion moved far too quickly at first.

Before it simmered down to give us time to intercept our demons.

 

It should’ve been the other way around.

In an age where I can’t see your face nor can I hold your hand,

 

It’s become a force of habit that I wish I could stop partaking in.

I love too quickly because I am a freak scared of being molded into something I’m not.

 

Regardless of my desire, I still have to know what goes on in your own life.

That either excites you, scares you, angers you, saddens you, and soothes you.

 

I’d have to appreciate you before my infatuation gets the better of me and it evolves into love.

I never planned to stop caring even after finding out your weight was dangerously high.

 

I was reassured that you planned to take care of yourself, but you never knew that.

You didn’t know what to do nor what to say when I didn’t find out about your size sooner.

 

You didn’t want to shove me away, but you did.

You didn’t want to hurt me, but you did.

 

You said you were interested in me, but you weren’t.

You said you weren’t in it for short-term happiness, but you were.

 

All because you turned your back on me when I was willing to keep you tight regardless.

You are such a damn fraud that vies for a sugar bowl that I am fighting tirelessly to keep.

 

How many sorries does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I could let you know when you get it to turn on.

But how can I notify you if you severed ties with me?

Since you ran away, an apology is as empty as your soul.

 

You turned out to be just like your exes and here I am, telling you, “Fuck your love quest.”

It’s not like you’re going to take it again anytime soon nevertheless.

 

Lonely pieces of crap only want to love when they wish for an early death.

Were you trying to gasp for air when the ocean took away your breath?

 

If you’re still wondering why you’ll never find love, I’ve got bad news for you.

The way you made my heart beat for you until you made a crack in it is the answer to your question.

 

You may never know this about me because I don’t always realize it myself.

But when I embrace a soul whose loyalty and compassion is unbreakable,

 

I realize that I am never alone.

They may face obstacles and heartaches of their own, but they never let them tear them apart.

 

One day, I’ll find love of my own and I continue to pray that it will be as true as my friendships.

What a shame that you’ll never see that I am never alone.

Money is One Heck of a Stimulant

Your deceit has polluted the rivers near your villages.

The very rivers that its people rely on for drinking water.

A sip of that poison ignites a plague that turns friends into foes and kin into fugitives.

But where is the antidote? Why do your people continue to fall ill?

It is locked away along with the fortune you made from the production of your deceit.

Money is one heck of a stimulant.

 

I’ve been away for a long time to know why I’ve been wrong before.

I had beat a dead horse and gave CPR to two that had cancer.

I should have known that it was not worth it if the doctors were not going to help treat it.

I was an ignoramus. They have all the knowledge that the world had to offer.

So why not share it with the ambitious and give new life to these once noble steeds?

Money is one heck of a stimulant.

 

I long reminisced about a time when the doors were open to tons of villagers with potential.

It was a world that I wanted to be a part of since I was a guppy not yet exposed to mathematics.

A potato infected by a blight and stabbed me warned me that the chief doctors were monsters.

A poor surgeon who tried repeatedly to receive a raise vanished, was slandered, and never seen again.

A coordinator found a shady message in her contract that forbade arbitration and fled to another kingdom.

And I recently heard that the one coquettish nurse was expelled over scrutiny from her personal life.

Why, Dr. Kim? Why do you egg your personnel to choose sides when there are lives that need rescuing?

Can’t we all get along and lay down our weapons? It’s easier to negotiate than to wage war, but no.

Money is one heck of a stimulant.

 

People lose their minds when they fall in love. It’s not just me. It’s a fact of life.

I lost mine to a mongrel who shut me out after a few months and lied directly to my face.

A good friend that I had regretfully wronged had given the doctors the deceit that tainted the rivers.

A clever herbalist that craves drama knows how to brew tainted water to make it appear crystal clear.

Not everyone knows that making up stories to sweep malpractice under the rug is a gold mine.

Money is one heck of a stimulant.

 

The coachman that brought me to this place can call me a whiny little boy if his mood fits.

Just like the kid who offered sage advice to the chief doctors on how to break down barriers.

But that judges the coachman's character more than mine.

It’s an fyi that looks terrible just because he’s wearing it.

But hey, why bother listening to advice that’s more expensive than one’s pride?

The doctors’ salaries are too low for them to spare a dime to make that change.

That’s why there’s never room for improvement nor for sharing in their greedy hearts.

Money is one heck of a stimulant.

 

I am terribly sorry that your folks never taught you that what goes around comes around.

That your hidden crimes will come back to bite you when you too become penniless.

When you one day get a taste of your own poison when you drink the river you tainted.

What does your life have in store for you afterwards? Can you sleep at night again?

Will people still care when the doctors go their separate ways? What about the pollution in the river?

I will not return to the filth you created to clean it because in the end, the deceit would be even worse.

To change your practice for the better was my greatest wish until I found out how unethical you are.

Now it is to build a fortune of my own so the artist that my heart beats for can have a bite to eat.

That is the change that you will never see because you are too comfortable smoking the dough you baked.

Money is one heck of a stimulant.

The Birth and Flight of a Phoenix

The storm has settled after a long summer.

The skies are clear, but the damage has been done.

I am charred, left abandoned in the ashes.

The humiliation during the wildfire led to my death.

The world I knew and loved disowned me.

 

But a baby bird had risen out of the ashes.

Despite its weak body, the newborn helped me onto my feet.

It led me away to start anew in a foreign world.

After all that had happened that led to this fire,

I know now that my old name is nothing but a memory

Left to be scorned by bloodthirsty eels.

 

Be free, young phoenix. Fly away and keep your voice close.

They'll be coming for you when they discover you're still alive.

It is better to let them think that you are dead

than attempt to kill yourself putting up a fruitless fight.

 

They can deceive the world all they like, but karma has its ways.

They will always be overshadowed by a much more unified flock.

But for now, I walk alone with no one but the baby bird perched on my shoulder.

I see a bit of my old life in it, but it possesses the need to change;

A quality that the world I left behind is too blind to see.

 

Be free, young phoenix. Fly away and keep your voice close.

They'll be coming for you when they discover you're still alive.

It is better to let them think that you are dead

than attempt to kill yourself putting up a fruitless fight.

 

By the time the bloodthirsty eels see me again, it will already be too late.

Their lack of intelligence is what I have to thank for getting me to where

I am needed most the whole time I have slaved away.

Too bad that they'll never know that I am not the poor unfortunate soul that I used to be.

 

The winter has arrived and the joys of Christmas Day have given the baby bird strength

To regain the fire that I have long-admired since I was no less than eight years of age.

The new year is around the corner and it is more than ready to spread its wings and fly

Like it did four years ago. It amazes me to see how kids grow up so fast.

 

Be free, young phoenix. Fly away and keep your voice close.

They'll be coming for you when they discover you're still alive.

It is better to let them think that you are dead

than attempt to kill yourself putting up a fruitless fight.

 

It is no longer our battle anyway for our destiny lies far away from this mom-and-pop.

Betrayal

Verse 1:
If you tell me that

You don't care about us

About today, tomorrow, and the future

Then I won't care about us either.

 

Chorus:
All the lies you've fed me

Made me cold and indifferent.

With a blacken heart,

I move on without you.

 

Verse 2:
I betray myself

To fulfill your expectations.

Quietly, lightly, I won't care about afterwards

As long as you are happy.

 

Bridge:
Rain falls down the rooftops

Falling down the window panes

Of my dreams.

I let you go.

 

Last-Chorus:
I've come to realize

That life is much better off

Once you are gone.

Farewell, my lover. 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Song I just wrote today about a narcissistic partner/lover who ended up breaking you but setting you up to find someone better than them in the long run that is worthy/deserving of the love you have to offer him/her. It goes both ways.