confidence

Giving Two Fucks

When you know you a bad motha-shut- yo-mouth!

"Serving the kids" is second nature not about chasing clout.

Multi-skilled so much more than initial first impression.

Publically displaying hidden talents is never about impressing.

Embracing that super important self love never leaving yourself guessing.

Never hesitent to be life's guinea pig even if you occasionally have to repeat the lesson.

Giving two fucks about anyone's opinion of you doing the best version of you.

Directing everyone to stay in their lanes so they can develop that confidence too.

Continue to do you boo; give the haters a reason to pray they develop  similar attributes during their nightly confessions.

Because being unapologetic and prideful of imperfections is your consistent acknowledgement of GOD's continued blessings.

 

By Bryant Mosley

 

 

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You Don't Know Me (Reprise)

I’ve proven people wrong before.

You are hardly an exception.

 

You said I should be single for a long time.

Venting to my friends who were right about you was the real medicine.

And plenty of boys say I’m a catch before they get to know who I am.

 

You said I need to grow up.

But you’re unemployed and you bash a girl that was slandered by her best friend.

I love being told what a snotty person I am both at work and when I’m with you.

 

You said I’m self-absorbed and immature.

I saved an artist you cruelly envied on his birthday from a debt that was killing him slow.

It was the best 30 pounds I ever spent this week because it was out of selfless love.

 

You said you deserve so much better than me.

You tried to gaslight me into thinking that no living soul is good enough for me.

You took the easy way out instead of bearing with me a little longer.

 

You said I don’t understand how relationships work.

That’s all you’re right about because what one person doesn’t find sexy might attract another.

So neither do you.

 

You said a piece of you will always love me.

You were just kidding yourself when you said that.

Some therapist you’re turning out to be, dearest.

 

It felt hazy that I pondered for days or even weeks

On how I was going to repay you for your compassion and charity.

You don’t deserve to know what I had planned for you.

 

If you somehow worm your way back into my life,

I won’t be crying my eyes out like the time when a bastard was unfaithful to you.

Instead, I will stand my ground like a rock and kick you in the crotch.

 

You had one opportunity to take things slow so we could get along.

But you’re not getting a second chance because I don’t trust you.

Does this explain why you claim I don’t love you?

 

Fast-forward to last week to the part where I started anew with another dude.

He’s a scary one that could do more damage to you than me.

He loves me for everything you hate about me.

He’s the kind of boy whose easy to set aside time for

While I hit the books and explore the world because he’s along for the ride.

 

I couldn’t be more attracted to him every time he touches me to say, “You’re mine.”

It’s not because he desires to put me on a leash and lock me up.

It’s because he understands where I’m coming from and he too thinks “give and take” is crap.

Yet, he loves me like the Holy Grail because he tells me that I’m the best part of every day to him.

 

Relationships are like snowflakes.

No two function the same way because people are complex creatures with different standards.

Yours certainly were a mystery and to this day, I wondered how it all went wrong.

Our final days were a thin line between love and hate.

I already know which direction you went.

That’s one thing you and the monsters in my nightmares have in common.

I Dare You

Folder: 
2019

I am

what I am

and I don’t

need your help.

Double take,

look you can’t

see me I am

above the sky.

I am more awake

than a ball of fire.

Take me down.

I dare you.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 8/15/19

From 300 writing prompts

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Believing

Folder: 
Positive Thought

*

23 POEMS OF BELIEVING


-saiom shriver-

**

ARK OF THE COVENANT

*

The eternal truth
of the Covenant's Ark
... and of the promise
of God's rainbow arc
is that all beings
are always
within God's Ark

Human eyes
.. transmit lies
.. for they fracture
the oneness
into little bits
and cannot see
the higher
frequencies
.. that as bodies
leave
amd many believe

.. others with
certainty know

*

BELLIES OF OCTOPI

*

"My ashes shall occupy
the bellies of octopi.
My aging brings
senility
and its even
more evil
twin sterility.
Declines my body's
utility.
All is futility"
did I moan to my teacher
who to my mind's
intuition replied

"It is a lie from hell
to think yourself
the body's shell"
"Do not cling
to the petals of spring
for that retards
the ripening fruit"

"Each day all spirits
uncover more of
their infinite
love, power, beauty,
peace, miraclemaking."

*

WINDSTAR

*

Whenever winds howled
and whirled
and around homes
curled
he knew that beyond
them shone
the unchanging
evening star

*

FAITH SPRING

*

Faith did upward
from the heartrocks
spring..
and run through ryefields
into rivers of knowing
which
did merge in
the sea's community..
before upward assumed
by God Sun into unity

*

GODORIENTED

*

The God oriented scientist
prays and is given
a revelation..
by the GOD who made all bodies and knows
how they work..

one need not bulldoze the forest
to research the life of a tree
nor torture animals to
find the secrets of GOD
*
(Albert Einstein: I was given the theory of a relativity in a dream... paraphrased from
his autobiography)

*

PIGEON RELIGION

*

The atheist pigeon
faced with rivers Stygian
abruptly saw the light
..suddenly found religion..

and when he came back
from the abyss
began to tell others
of his supernal vision.

(thank you to Tom Lehrer for rhyming pigeon and
religion.. in his satire on govt. cruelty to
animals)

*

EASTER BASKET

*

If it harms none
and in prayer you ask it
God has it for you
in your Easter basket.

And as time and tide
flow on
one sees that
his own heart
is the Easter basket.

*

TABLE TURNING IN THE TEMPLES

*

He overturned
with divine temper
the tables
of the
dovekillers
in the temple
and sheepbutchers

and even now
the killers of
the Dove of Peace
the butchers of God's
animals
need to be removed
from modern temples

*

BLUEPRINTS AND FIGS

*

When the Spirit
conceives blueprints
.. these seeddreams
become trees of quince
And imagination's figments
by sun are woven
into figs

*

FROM MORNRISE TO MOONRISE

*

From mornrise
to moonrise
.. all is contained
.. in God's eyes

*

UNWAVERING WAVES FOR PETER

*

The first time Peter walked upon the water
he sank
because his faith wavered in the waves.
But later his faith become
unwavering
and as Peter became a rock for Christ
.. the sea became for Peter a rock.

One is nonChristian firewalker
another a Christian waterwalker..
both believe

*

KNITTING CLOUDS BRAIDING GOALS

*

He is not nonexistent, nor sleeping
nor cruel, powerless nor on vacation,
things of which he is accused,
the Sun, with His warming SoulFire.

It is we who knit clouds
of false ambition,
We braid clouds of mean
revenge..
We weave sunblocking
clouds of immature desire.

*

PINNIPED

*

More angels dance on
the head of a pinniped
than on the shiny
surface of a pinhead

*

FLY RIGHTS

*

We're more likely to
to fly right
when honoring
animal bird and fly rights

*

THEY BELIEVE IN YOU

*

The photographer
snapped
of the picture straight ahead
so that
one could not see
the sky
but the clouds
reflected in lake water

Those who were not able
to believe in a God
they could not see
were drawn to God
by your love.

*

DOES THE SUN DIP INTO THE SEA?

*

The sun does not bathe in the sea
nor rise in the air..
nor is God confined by our
limited perceptions.

*

THE LIGHT PRESUMES A SOURCE
OF LIGHT

*

James Michael Pratt wrote
of those who see the light
but do not know the lighthouse
keeper. Just so, the lives of
many are saved by anonymous
angels they know not.

*

BELIEVING

*

Yesterday's sudden frost
.. yet please do believe
spring is coming
and with it new leaves

*

THE SEED CONCEIVES

*

In doubt's earth,
rain and the seed
do life conceive
Slowly does faith
unfurl her leaves
and then come branches:
she does now fully believe
and then without a doubt
she knows
that all to God go
who do in release
their bodies leave

*

ADVOCATE

*

If I could represent to my
mind another's opposite
point of view as if I
were an attorney without
emotional involvement,
I would pass a test.

*

FAITH MOVES MOUNTAINS

*

Faith moves mountains
Truth soars over them
at the speed of light.

*

THE GIFT OF BELIEF

*

Lasting as long
as the dewdrop in
the dawn sun or
the snowflake in
the spring stream
was his belief...
so brief..
until he witnessed
how God uncurls
the limehued leaf

*

DOES ICE HATE GOD

*

To ice it may seem
that God does scheme
to destroy his form
in the stream
melting him into water
and then to dawnmist steam.

But he changes his mind
as he sparkles in sunbeams
and begins to merge
with the Supreme.

 

*

Note: apologies to atheists
and agnostics for
the assertion

 

-saiom shriver-

 

ADVOCATE
ARK OF THE COVENANT
BELLIES OF OCTOPI
BELIEVING
BLUEPRINTS AND FIGS
DOES ICE HATE GOD
DOES THE SUN DIP INTO THE SEA
EASTER BASKET
FAITH MOVES MOUNTAINS
FAITH SPRING
FLY RIGHTS
FROM MOONRISE TO MOONRISE
GIFT OF BELIEF
GODORIENTED SCIENTIST
KNITTING CLOUDS BRAIDING GOALS
LIGHT PRESUMES A SOURCE OF LIGHT
PIGEON RELIGION
PINNIPED
THE SEED CONCEIVES
TABLE TURNING IN THE TEMPLES
THEY BELIEVE IN YOU
UNWAVERING WAVES FOR PETER
WINDSTAR

23

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Try

You've told me that you are trying, and that you are trying as hard as you can, I know that it's hard right now, because you're standing in the middle of the storm and your umbrella is upside down while you're trying to keep everything right side up, and I know that you don't get any sleep, because you're caught and lost inside of your own conscience, you're deep in thought every waking moment, and that's why I check up on you every night to make sure that you are ok before I say my nightly prayers and lie down my weary head, I always say "You've got this, I believe in you", and I know that I say it all the time to you, but after you hugged me, I actually believed it myself. I have always thought since Summer ended that you will never be ok again, that you'll be gone forever, but after that, I believe in you, one-hundred percent now. You are trying, and now you've shown me, I felt your heart beating, your body pulsating, your spirit fighting, I felt all of it, and it was overwhelming. I felt your happiness, I felt your grief, I felt your confusion and your despair, and it hit me harder than the news itself had, your whole life swarmed into my mind, when you first learned how to skate, when you met your first friend back in elementary school, when you made your brother mad when you accidently hurt him, when your first dog died, all of the bullying in middle school, when you thought that you could take on the world, I felt the adrenaline of your first kiss, the eye-opening moment that our time is limited here because of your internal death, I felt you wanting to give up, but you were still fighting, and I believe that you are still in there. I love you, and I want you to be ok, that's all that I want, is for you to be ok. You have made me so proud of you, your heart kept repeating to me in your chest, thump-thumping "he's ok, he's ok, he's ok". This is the first time that I said that I love you, and you showed me that you love me back, as the brother that I dreamed that I could have one day, even though I know I don't deserve it because of what I've done, you just don't realize how much that meant to me, how much I prayed to God to let me know if I can keep you in my life or not, and that showed me that you are here to stay, and I have thanked God every day since.

I love you,

have a great evening.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

You've got this

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Keep Your Silver

Folder: 
2017

I don’t want to fix you,

I want to find a few of the pieces,

slide them till they shine enough for you to want them

and watch the world sit at your fingertips.

 

I will lie here too long,

think too much like always

because I love the sound of your smile

and I want to know what sparks it.

 

I want to miss you

just so I know I can feel more than smoke

I want to hold you

when you think the splatters on your sleeve are worth more than your soul

I want to tell you

keep your silver closer to your tongue.

 

It is locked too deep in a barricade,

it is shelved with the things you want to forget but can’t

or the things you only want to remember on lonely nights,

bring it up

so I can see it when you laugh

so you take what you deserve

so it slides from your lips like a symphony

I am good.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 6/2/17

Let Me

Folder: 
2017

I am only here for your eyes.

I can only feel in your head.

 

I am not comfortable enough in this skin yet,

let me try on yours.

 

Let me love you like I should love myself after this many years,

pull me back when I can’t stop wanting,

hold me in a death grip when I can’t choose

so I don’t have to walk either way.

 

Give me a lens to see arrows like armor,

they can’t pin me to walls just with glances anymore.

 

Let me see fireworks here, a home,

stop me from

holding myself in hellfire

and dropping heaven at your feet.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 3/3/17

Wet Paint (day 148)

as the years walk by

you can either admire them or

wish they would turn back-

choose.

as you grow up

you need to be told

you are not a puzzle

someone needs to put together

you do not need work to make you beautiful.

you do not need touch to keep you safe.

you do not need hands to make you whole.

 

you are a painting

you need to be told how

every day you have carved up the corners of someone’s mouth

until they can taste something like a smile.

you need to be told how

every day you have spilled a little paint where you walk,

palettes blended in the canyons of your footsteps,

leaving behind drops people can use

to give their world a little more color.

you need to be told how

every inch of your skin is a different wavelength

and no one wishes one of those wavelengths was gone

how else would we finish a rainbow?

you need to be told how

no matter how beautiful you already are,

every day you are still drying.

we are all still drying.

we are all just

wet paint.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 12/23/16

Growing up

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I'm Not

I'm not.
The words I would always say to myself as an excuse.

I'm not.
The excuse that removes any sort of responsibility from me.

I'm not.
Not what? Not capable? Not worthy? Of course I am.

I'm not.
I have a soul strong enough to bend the world,
I have imagination to do anything I want,
The world is in my fingertips.
Of course I am.

I'm not.
But when my mind grips a hold and the nightmares of
Memories beyond that imagination of mine wash over me,
And all I can remember is how I felt when I held
Broken bones of the person who had saved me so many times over.

I'm not.
Not young? Not without pain? No.

I'm not.
But I can sure as hell still stand with this sky on my back and
Say to the world with pride “I am!”
Because what I'm not means nothing to me.
What I am not doesn't define me.
What I am is what shapes my soul,
And gives me the strength to move forward.

I'm not.
And at the same time,
I am.