When in doubt, take a knife
Slice it across the vein along the wrist
Don't go soft, make it count
Make that shit bleed
Watch as it pours over the skin
Do you feel it?
Do you feel any different?
Probably not!
Feeling that coldness along your cheeks
That's still not enough
The tiled floor is within reach
Do you feel it?
Do you feel different?
Probably not!
The knife is still within your hand
Slide it along both your thighs
Make it bleed
Come on now
Don't be a baby
You want it to go away
You know how to do it
Not once, not twice, three times is nice
You're beginning to feel it now
All that pain is starting to ease
The wall is crumbling
The salt pouring along your lips
Yes, let it all out
If this isn't enough and you've had enough
Let the cold water cover the skin
Relax and lay back
Let it all out
Take your last breath cause it's time
Now you are going cold
Do you feel any better?
I'm sure you do
No more pain
No more complaints and disappointments
No more worries
Now just hope you end up where you want to go
You’ve done it again. You’ve done it again, mate.
You went back on your word when you promised you’d stick with me in the long run.
Even if our passion moved far too quickly at first.
Before it simmered down to give us time to intercept our demons.
It should’ve been the other way around.
In an age where I can’t see your face nor can I hold your hand,
It’s become a force of habit that I wish I could stop partaking in.
I love too quickly because I am a freak scared of being molded into something I’m not.
Regardless of my desire, I still have to know what goes on in your own life.
That either excites you, scares you, angers you, saddens you, and soothes you.
I’d have to appreciate you before my infatuation gets the better of me and it evolves into love.
I never planned to stop caring even after finding out your weight was dangerously high.
I was reassured that you planned to take care of yourself, but you never knew that.
You didn’t know what to do nor what to say when I didn’t find out about your size sooner.
You didn’t want to shove me away, but you did.
You didn’t want to hurt me, but you did.
You said you were interested in me, but you weren’t.
You said you weren’t in it for short-term happiness, but you were.
All because you turned your back on me when I was willing to keep you tight regardless.
You are such a damn fraud that vies for a sugar bowl that I am fighting tirelessly to keep.
How many sorries does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I could let you know when you get it to turn on.
But how can I notify you if you severed ties with me?
Since you ran away, an apology is as empty as your soul.
You turned out to be just like your exes and here I am, telling you, “Fuck your love quest.”
It’s not like you’re going to take it again anytime soon nevertheless.
Lonely pieces of crap only want to love when they wish for an early death.
Were you trying to gasp for air when the ocean took away your breath?
If you’re still wondering why you’ll never find love, I’ve got bad news for you.
The way you made my heart beat for you until you made a crack in it is the answer to your question.
You may never know this about me because I don’t always realize it myself.
But when I embrace a soul whose loyalty and compassion is unbreakable,
I realize that I am never alone.
They may face obstacles and heartaches of their own, but they never let them tear them apart.
One day, I’ll find love of my own and I continue to pray that it will be as true as my friendships.
What a shame that you’ll never see that I am never alone.
It was just like any other day,
Air wasted out of our breath,
Like the chimney smoke,
Smoking the soul of our home,
I took that hands of yours and rested to mine,
Before the wind blew the windows wide open,
Awaken right before we scattered with of storm,
Before we lost the wings of understanding,
Covered our words with of our own farewell,
As then we float towards our death.
Baby you helped me up when
I fell down
You held my head up when
I was drowning
But now your gone
And guess what baby?
I'm falling
And I can't stop
I'm drowning
My head is not coming back up
Baby you made the darkness go away
You were my light
But
Baby the darkness is coming back
And
The light is going out
Baby you said you loved me
And
You kept me going
But
Baby you were nothing but lies.
the words were the same
but each memory was different
yet all of them fufilled one thing:
a false sense of hope.
hopefully one day,
someone will break of that tradition
and actually hold true to their words.
once again, the same
mistake all over again
think it over, please...
Never been the one
To stand and fight
For the dreams
That sore so high
I’m the one that hides
With fear inside
Living on burnt memories
Can’t seem to find
A fresh start
A new beginning
Without hindering hands
That grasp my sanity
Preventing me
To take a stand
I’m hurting and bleeding
From self-inflicted moods
When will I learn to love?
And heal these open wounds
How can I stop dying on the inside?
Rotting and withering away
Picking up my shattered pieces
In hope, that they’d stay
Breaking free from this hold
No longer listening to what I’m told
I’m sold on this future, meant to be
All these thoughts
Crashing down
The storm’s coming
And I’m here waiting
Can’t be hell bound
Chains wrapped around me
Screams with no sound
Sold on stories told
Silver linings and sun shine
Coming after the rain
Please erase this pain, warring
Ripping off this sorrow
Like clothes off my back
There can only be a better tomorrow
So let the rain come
Wash me clean
Swipe the things off my plate
That keep me, from me
Walking in the footsteps of the shadows before him
Many years a plenty so deep dark and empty
Never ever too few to hate him very coarsely
They preach to him of god’s love
While at the cliff giving him a shove
It saddens him when he thinks about how they should love him
When any perfect stranger easily can trim or replace him
Finally realizing he needs a second chance as he stares at the walls
Putting him in a trance
Knowing he has to try and make this last stance
Lonely living out this life sentence, but I bet they won’t miss his invalid absence.
Written by,
Rob Casteel
Happiness flying so high I cannot reach, If only I could find them that would teach. Sitting so dim living through others, wondering why them and not the other. Lights down low, time so slow, watching the clock one day and then two. The days march by with many a glitch, wondering why I still live in this son of a bitch.
By Rob Casteel