Loneliness

Together (2024 challenge day 25)

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2024

my loneliness feels more like a language of together

split into letters only I have ever known

 

my loveliness is a cage I have decorated

made sure the lock can’t rust

 

my loneliness exists in parallel

to enough people around they could press all the piano keys

and my ears would still be left empty

 

I have always interpreted together as a kind of attack & retreat

send the voice girl forward to host them

& let the rest of me retreat as far as it will go

 

maybe together should invite them both to blend

some kind of coffee date where I can tell all my stories

the ego the quiet the slightly ridiculous

together can fill me up bigger than a hot air balloon

& gift me with just as wide a view

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 4/12/24

Together

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Rhetorically: A Conversation Trip Inside My Headspace

Rhetorically: A Conversation Trip Inside My Headspace 

(05/11/2024

)

 

 

  • I need to ask you a question. Is there something wrong with me?
    • There must be something “off” that you’re unable or unwilling to see.
  • Why don’t I deserve the same consideration as him, as them, as her?
    • Because obviously you’re not good enough, otherwise “how things are” would’ve long since become how they were.
  • What if I’m just afraid of the unknown and what something real would require?
    • Stop whining. You’ll be as happy as you choose to be as soon as you acknowledge that your irrational phobia is a thief and a liar. 
  • But what about all this self improvement I’ve done and how I’ve bettered myself from the inside out? 
    • You said you did that for yourself and yet here you stand looking for external validation and crippled by your it self doubt. 
  • But I did do it for myself! Still  maybe it might be nice to have someone who appreciates it with whom to share my affections. 
    • But what if the rest of the world doesn’t see what you see? After all you’ve never actually seen your own face—only pictures and reflections. 
  • So they don’t actually mean it when they tell me that I’m so pretty and so smart and that I’m such an amazing catch?
    • C’mon, Ky, they’re clearly just being polite cuz it’s been over 40 years and you haven’t found anyone that wants to be your partner and your perfect match. 
  • That’s not true! I’ve been told “I love you” lots of times, but I had to tell them it couldn’t work since they didn’t share my faith and love my God.
    • So you only attract those that don’t share the most important part of your life…don’t you think that’s the tiniest bit odd?
    • And going back to crippled, you’re middle-aged and handicapped with a chronic illness—do you honestly think someone would want to take that on?
    • Don’t be delusional; this is real life not an Ed Sheeran song. (when your legs don’t work like they used to before)
  • Stop it! Shut up! Now you’re being deliberately harsh and unnecessarily cruel. 
    • Don’t get mad at me; I’m just calling the game as I see it—I didn’t write the rules.
    • Maybe I wasn’t direct enough before: The truth is you’re a saboteur because you’re a frightened woman-child and  fear has you tight in its clutches.
  • I said be quiet! I can’t stand you—and that’s saying a lot considering  I’m holding on for dear life to these crutches. 
  • You think you’ve got me all figured out with your clichéd “better the devil you know” assessment and hackneyed psycho babble. 
  • I’m done with this interchange. I’ve had enough of your gabble. 
  • Besides who do you think you are? You don’t know me, and who gave you permission to respond to my thoughts and questions so categorically?
    • You gave me permission, remember? I do know you cuz I AM YOU, and you can’t ask yourself questions rhetorically. 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is a reworking of Rhetorically that I wrote in October 2017 

Giant's Journey

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Writing prompt based on a picture

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Chosen

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2020
Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 10/17/20

On the Hill

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How

Folder: 
2020
Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 8/28/20

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