The love we once had has been killed and left to rot in the ground
It doesn't hurt anymore when I see you are not around
It's easier to keep the pain inside than to Let it out
You blame me, but you should take a look in the mirror now
Maybe it's better this way
Maybe it's how things were supposed to turn out
Maybe I should
Drive the nail in the coffin
Pull the pin on the grenade
Maybe I should
Stand back while you keep falling
Become the monster you hate
Maybe it's better this way
The bond we once shared has become frayed and hanging by a string
It doesn't hurt anymore since I don't feel a fucking thing
It's easier to keep my words inside, don't say anything
You shame me, but when you look in the mirror it's unforgiving
Maybe it's better this way
Maybe it's how things were supposed to turn out
Maybe I should
Drive the nail in the coffin
Pull the pin on the grenade
Maybe I should
Sit back as you keep falling
Become the one thing you hate
Maybe it's better this way
It's better this way
It's better this way
Now
I know I should
Drive the nail in the coffin
Pull the pin on the grenade
Stand back while you keep falling
Become the monster you hate
Become the one thing you hate
I am the one thing you hate now
Trust me, It's better this way
6/8/23
I'm not sorry for giving you up!
I am sorry I was not given the tools to be a better mother.
I am sorry for all the pain and suffering you endured over the years.
I'm not sorry for walking away, as I believe it would have been worse had I stayed!
I can not change the past.
I live in the present and look to the future.
Dwelling only prolongs the pain.
I'm not sorry for giving you tuff love.
Sometimes it's the only way to love.
I don't have all the answers,
I have my feelings, emotions and experiences!
I'm very happy that you were able to break the cycle,
able to raise your children.
I am sorry I was not able to be a part of your lives.
I'm sorry I missed out on so many memories.
I am not sorry I gave you life.
June 13 2022
Family is considered the most vital agent of socialization because kids are most frequently greatly reliant on their families and family is the leading source to teach progenies their customs, ideals, and principles. It is done by the parents verbally and non-verbally. Family assists in cultivating the echelons of faith, freedom, enterprise, a sense of skill, and determination and help them to make proper choices in life.
Many scholars accept as true that the family is a predominantly significant establishment of socialization as it executes the decisive tasks of socializing the youngsters and takes care of the sensitive necessities of its members. Moreover, a stable family reinforces social order and financial steadiness.
It Gets Better
January 27, 2021
Several years have passed, but it feels like only days.
Everything in my life is foggy, nothing has changed
since I was younger and had more time to write.
I've grown into an adult, but nothing is all right.
I've hoped for so long that I could find a place
where I can be myself and not have to chase
validation and acceptance for the thoughts in my mind.
I've searched, I have, but there is nothing in sight.
I have love all around me, with my family and friends.
They assure me I'm safe, they'll be there 'til the end.
I don't doubt that, but they seem to misunderstand
that these problems I have are out of my hands.
It's three in the morning, I'm working at eight.
If I go to sleep now, I'll still probably be late.
I'll get through the day, pay the bills, go to bed,
just to have this cycle repeat itself again.
When the night gets darker and my mind is awake,
there is nothing I can do but hope I don't think
about the forks in the road- which one I'll take.
I could visit the skies above or pretend I'm ok.
The medications, the drugs, and the alcohol
have never helped me feel better at all.
The only thing that's stopped me from leaving forever
is telling myself at night, "I promise, it gets better."
It helps for a moment, but soon my mind persists
that it isn't true- it doesn't get better than this.
I have tried to change all the errors of my ways,
but to no avail. This may be the last of my days.
To everyone who loved me, to everyone that cared,
I don't want you to think that any of you shared
a part in this self-destructive game of my life.
In the end, everything will be all right.
Nothing will change in the world outside my own.
Everyone else will have a place they call home.
My only hope is that by relieving my pressure,
maybe for the others, it actually does get better.
If Tomorrow I Dont See! 02/23/20
one day while i was sitting around and thinking about you all
The thought had crossed my mind when my number God would call
When memories of your childhood flashed thru my mind to me
and i was thinking i didnt say enough if tomorrow i dont see
then i thought about the day you were born and smiled from ear to ear
i watched you sleep those first few days afraid you'd disappear
thru the rough times i spent on my knees praying for God to set us free
once again that thought had crossed my mind if tomorrow i dont see
did i help you accomplish all your dreams and keep you safe till i depart
have i said enough thru out your life so you'll know whats in my heart
then my fathers words came back to me and they have set me free
he simply said remember i will always love you if tomorrow i dont see!
zoeycup
Can it be real
or am I just fooling myself?
To believe that your love for me
Has not been put on a shelf
Packed away and discarded
Like an old photo or toy
Your pure and unconditional love
Like when you were a boy
Innocent and sweet
You held me in your heart
But now the years and life’s challenges
Have torn us apart
You have chosen a path
That is rocky and tough
And my guidance and attempts to divert you
Have not been enough
You ran from youth fast
Confused and unsure
Towards the deceitful blinding light
Of adulthoods allure
As I stand here and watch you stumble
Like when you took your first steps
But now unable to help or reach out to you
Now that you’ve fallen into the depts
But my hand will always be within reach for you
And my heart open wide
To take hold of either
If you should ever decide
I wish you only happiness
And pray you will find
All the things you’ll need in your life
To replace what you’ve left behind
I will say goodbye to you
But only for now
Because I know you will find your way back to me
Someday or somehow
All alone with the voices inside of my head. ill put my pride to the side and write it out the rest.
I hate how cancer kills the one you love and not the one you hate instead.
it puts you through so much pain, id rather see hell, face my demons and be better off dead then to see another loved one go through that again.
Your body is eating you from the inside out and theres nothing you can do cry and take pain meds.
losing hair and weight at a fast scaling rate. worry and confusion, i swear this all feels like an illuision.
sitting alone in my room every night thinking why didnt they take you. (maryanne)
they didnt take the right one, and now its fucking me up in the head.
trying to sort this shit out like why god?
why take not her instead..
take the crackhead.
not someones mother, a family friend.
but you cant pick and choose
so let me cry and lay in my bed. Wishing i can see you again and tell you all the things i never said.
see your face and tell you that i love you, and thank you again.
youre in a better place, with danny. so atleast youre happy.
im sorry for the pain this shit has put you thru. its a cold world, but atleast i got to know you.
That face is never getting old with time.
It still bring me close and you not afar
From time present. Small morning here dreams alone
And love-gate open, for memory to come home.
All things that make you who you are
Gifts and robs the soul at once:
Those blessings giving, and curses retaining
As they were with you,
They are with me here now.
Even death dust cannot touch the evergreen
Of grandchildren their days not yet seen.