on the back of his Vespa
he keeps me on a string
choking is better than crying all the time
so fuck it at least I’m trying
he can say he wants to give me the world
before he’s even seen half of it
trust is something
I will give you without second guessing
I don’t think I heard my heart screaming
I want a new spring with every human
but I keep turning back and
I have left a trail of
fucking frost again
I have spiderwebbed the ground under our feet
I can’t help but hold it in my fingers
and end every day with frostbite
I have not found my April
I leave sunflowers everywhere
and lose them all so fucking fast
there comes a point where
planting is just a way
to get through to the next disappointment
there comes a day when
I have to face it
maybe I am just
all
winter
These words I write cannot contain
The anger, the guilt, nor the pain
Of losing someone you hold most dear
You went to her house for advice
You just complained, yelled and got frustrated
But she just listened, hearing every word
And now she's gone, gone, gone
You think about her constantly
She never leaves your heart, mind, or soul
Her advice was always solid
Her words blunt and meaningful
But now you can't hear them
She is just gone, gone, gone
We move on, hoping to hear her call our name
But she can't anymore
We hope to feel her grasp
But she is out of reach
Just remember where she resides now
In the darkest part of your heart
Waiting for you to ask again
When you find the words
When you heal
She's not here
She's not there
But she is everywhere
She. Is. Home.
She. Is. Happy.
She. Is. Always. Watching.
Waiting
Hoping
Always loving was her speech
She told you how it was out of love
She was there when you were a baby
She was there your whole life
NOW HOLD HER CLOSE AS YOU SAY GOODBYE FOR THE LAST TIME!!
YOU'LL NEVER SEE HER AGAIN!!
THE PHOTOS DO HER NO JUSTICE!!
DON'T SHED TEARS FOR HER!!!
REMEMBER HER!!
The death of a loved one
Is an unending sadness
But never give up
They will watch you
Help you
Save you
Never give up!
Are you ready for it?
I shouldn’t have to ask you that question after all that you have done.
It would’ve been rude of me not to give you a heads-up like this.
Your reign of terror is steps closer to its endgame.
If I do not draw my sword and face the ghosts of my past, checkmate is guaranteed.
I did something bad long ago, but can you blame me?
I’m just a human being that made a mistake because I was not in the right mind.
Anguish and love do not mix because both made my life worse before.
If you respect that my situation is delicate, why do you keep poking the hornet nest?
If you crack it open and the wasps sting you so much their poison burns,
don’t be surprised if I say, “Look what you made me do.”
Your empathy is lacking so why should I care if you are put to rest the next day?
Princes don’t negotiate with paupers like me.
So it goes because fame and violence are always placed above justice and peace.
Isn’t it gorgeous to be the one in control? To run a country or a sect without a care in the world?
Doesn’t it feel amazing when your subjects obey you unconditionally as if you are an almighty god?
These questions reveal to me that aristocrats and celebrities use their authority
for insolence and seduction. No wonder we can’t have nice things.
You are not entitled to my throne even though a liar was the king of my heart before.
What was “yes” today could be “no” tomorrow so I keep fewer promises.
I’ve heard enough empty platitudes from your devotees to realize that an oath is not to be made lightly.
Anything else you want to preach about before I take the getaway car to escape additional agony?
Go ahead and dress your possessive wiles by telling me you love me
And shower me with material goods to let my guard down against my better judgment.
But when you try to use your tenderness as leverage, it is all the more reason for me to leave.
The longer I stay here, the more certain it is that my life is in danger.
My hands are tied keeping the darkness around me at bay for as long as I can.
Fortune is never on my side when I dance, but my sword will always be my partner.
Call it what you want, but the battlefield is my ballroom.
If dancing alone is the only way I can retain my individuality, so be it.
Happy Raʼs as-Sanah al-Hijrīyah, Vlad Dracula.
I’ll see you in Hell.
What am I to make of who I am?
I can't blame tomorrow for yesterday
Here I am, already fingering blame
Convicting something that has yet to happen
I'm charging the hands of time
That has still to be announced
With a list of thought crimes
Of having cursed us, having lied
From us, having stolen itself
Telling us we had more than was left
I'm charging the hands of time
With a list of thought crimes
I'm locking the future up
With those that I never forgave
What am I to make of who I am?
If I can only become this man
Here I am, all ready to ruin the day
Guaranteeing agar agar for Misery to breed
In rage,
I've kidnapped the charms of life
Blindly,
Somehow, I've ended up
With a knife in my hand
The knife to it's neck
Tomorrow's pleading eyes
Snapping me out of it
I was about to kill a kid
Because he could become a Hitler
I'm charging the hands of time
That has still to be announced
With a list of thought crimes
Of having cursed us, having lied
From us, having stolen itself
Telling us we had more than was left
I'm charging the hands of time
With a list of thought crimes
I'm locking the future up
With those that I never forgave
I'm sorry, Tomorrow
Forgive me, today
I should have forgiven you
Yesterday
Take my Hand
By JFarrell
Take my hand,
And I’ll help you as far as I can;
I can’t carry you,
But, maybe,
If you walk in my footprints,
It will ease your journey.
Yes,
It does look like a long journey,
But you are not alone;
Here,
Take my arm,
Take the support you need.
I know,
You look around
And see no-one.
I know,
You feel so alone.
But I am here
Here to help you.
Take my hand,
I will catch you if you fall;
I will right you if you stumble;
I will be beside you, always;
So,
Take my hand.
A little more
To fill the pit
All dark
Lately bottomless
With each day
It widens
It deepens
Not sure how a bottomless pit looses bottom but this one does
A little more
To fill the pit
That little more
Sets it to Widen
To deepen
Pitched soul
Empty bottomless pit
Into the howling dark I go.
Following a broken and lonesome road.
As I travelled on
I reached a ledge.
Down I look, only to see
the Void.
The Void was limitless.
Without a beginning or an end.
It called out to me
In the strangest of ways.
I edge closer
to get a better look.
And what did I see?
An image of all my shattered memories
and broken dreams.
The Void called out yet again.
And my mind starts to spin
as the torrent of despair starts coming in.
Slowly at first
But intensifying in it's speed.
The waves of hopelessness
closing in, crushing me.
I try and turn back the way I came.
Just to find that the road has disappeared.
Disbelief and shock are what I first felt.
Then slowly, I realized that all along I've been here.
No going back now.
So I do only what's left.
I step into the Void.
Falling beneath it's calm surface.
Never to return again.
Drowning in empty rooms
pulling at nonexistent
strings hanging from my clothes
Ripples in the sea of calmness
around me, even
when everyone’s sleeping
Desperate,
I sneak out to meet the madman,
pick the slivers from the sky
and gift them in a basket to him
I shouldn’t have been hopeful
Grinning, he pours nothingness
right into my hands.
You said goodnight to me,
I said goodbye to you.
You didn't think twice
didn't think it was strange.
But tomorrow you'll see
what my goodbye means.