Self Hate
Power and Control
I dominte my life,
I control my life,
To you I am a slave,
I have no control,
You dominate me,
I hate myself,
I hate you more,
I long for you,
Ache for you,
I beg you to go,
I wish for your absense,
Yet I still miss you,
How can your touch hurt me,
Yet at the same time heal me,
I feel the grip around my neck,
Tendrils coil and tighten,
A gentle squeeze,
My hand shakes,
I have no power,
You have control,
The darkness grows,
Shadows elongate,
My hand steadies,
I hold your coldness in my fingers,
I feel you whispering to my soul,
Screaming at me,
Controlling me,
My eyes are lifeless,
Like a porcelain doll,
I move deliberately,
I move carefully,
I need control,
I need to feel your power,
Metal peels away flesh,
A burning heat from within,
Deliberately slow,
Line after line,
I feel the adrenaline,
The power of the blood flowing,
The intoxicating smell of life,
I want this to never end,
I want control,
I want power,
I want to feel it drain,
More and more flesh is opened,
A familiar metallic tang hangs in the air,
Again and again and again,
Who am I kidding,
I have no control,
I have no power,
I hate myself for loving you,
Im addicted to the idea,
A deadly idea,
How curious am I?
The sheet stained claret,
My arms are a mess,
A curious glance,
A reoccuring thought,
The addiction to a high I cant replicate,
You never forget your first time,
How close you are,
The power to control everything,
At the same time,
Controlling the power within,
There it is again,
Power and control,
The power in between your fingertips,
The control of the action,
A finishing touch,
No control,
Too much power,
A spinning head,
Those lifeless eyes glinting in the shadows,
That last slice,
A final rush of heat,
The calm before the storm,
I have neither,
Power or control.
