When in doubt, take a knife

Slice it across the vein along the wrist

Don't go soft, make it count

Make that shit bleed

Watch as it pours over the skin

Do you feel it?

Do you feel any different?

Probably not!

Feeling that coldness along your cheeks

That's still not enough

The tiled floor is within reach

Do you feel it?

Do you feel different?

Probably not!

The knife is still within your hand 

Slide it along both your thighs 

Make it bleed

Come on now

Don't be a baby

You want it to go away

You know how to do it

Not once, not twice, three times is nice

You're beginning to feel it now

All that pain is starting to ease

The wall is crumbling

The salt pouring along your lips

Yes, let it all out

If this isn't enough and you've had enough

Let the cold water cover the skin

Relax and lay back

Let it all out

Take your last breath cause it's time

Now you are going cold

Do you feel any better?

I'm sure you do

No more pain

No more complaints and disappointments

No more worries 

Now just hope you end up where you want to go



I can do things your past can’t.

the good, the bad, the in between

not that you are

a game or a prize

but just that I want everything and

I’m only human when I see tears

I just want to put you in a corner


someone told me once

exhaustion is being stuck in an emotion

I feel it

when I get

hot and angry

turn into

some sort of spikes

shoot them at the moon


I am

some sort of swelling you can’t undo

I will never catch up to the memories


I wake to loneliness so sure of itself

I turn into fists

that never land anywhere

go to bed

so tired again

that I can’t sleep


I am waiting for a light to turn on that does not have a switch

I have crescents worn into my palms

because I like to tell myself I am better than a blade

but I am not quite better than this


all the milestones feel like boulders

I have been

stacking up on the top of this hill

fuck I am so fucking sick of running

hoping they will not catch me



yes it is not quite that I am


or longing

or murderous

or jealous

or just fucking tearing myself apart


it is not quite that I love you

that I’m human

that so were you


it is not quite that I’m ready

for the silence to catch up to me

for all these ghosts to go


it is not quite that I am

afraid you will leave me


it is that I am

afraid you will want to and won’t


afraid I am every part of the building blocks you have been searching for

but they have been assembled all wrong


afraid I am half of every column in this house of gods

and still you will have nothing to stand on


afraid I will climb and climb and never make it


afraid you have invited me in

and I pulled the door off its hinges on the way in


afraid I will never stop seeing his face through your memory

or stop falling asleep to all the one liners that live in my head


afraid I will love you with two hands

one I was born with and

one I have carefully created through all these comparisons


afraid I will never stop trying to build myself into a hybrid

something you could want in those lives you used to dream of

someone you could stay with when the world walks backwards


and if I finally succeed

afraid I will leave me stranded on the floor when I am gone

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 9/7/22

View tallsquirrelgirl's Full Portfolio

Curse you

just notes*

I silently curse your name thousand times
I can't close my eyes without seeing you with her
Curse you for making me doubt my myself ...
Curse you for wanting her!
I'm angry
I'm mad
I'm sad
I'm disappointed
I'm cursing you
I can't close my eyes without seeing you with her
She's everything I wasn't ...
But I gave you everything ... Without asking for anything
And maybe that's what you wanted ...
I curse you thousand times
And still I can't close my eyes

View gabz's Full Portfolio

A Little girl Lost'

Just a thought!

Stained from life, she ponders words,She can't exist without them.

Chasing memories in her mind,

The ones she lived without him.

Seeking refuge in tainted thoughts,

Never realizing wanted dreams,

Tossing and turning, restless sleep,

Awakened again by pictured screams.

Time doesn't seem to heal all wounds,

It just predicates the cost..

Always tortured in my own mind...

I remain... "A little Girl Lost"

Author's Notes/Comments: 

"A Little Girl Lost"   ...."Written for know who you are...

                                                                                                 ... or maybe, you don't!"...

I Was Just Leaving

Maybe it’s me

Always overly acquainted with the all knowing eyes

And the rubbernecking of studying stares

The steady flow of innuendo


The arrows of displeasure aimed in my direction

All for having lowered my anchor

Rejoicing in where I’ve landed

Maybe not the preferred destination

But content with the richly cultivated grains of my being

Fertilized in fortitude from the favor I’ve been granted

And the divine soils in which my feet have firmly been planted


Maybe it’s me

Because my world is now serene

No longer entertaining the misunderstanding of me

And those who are still burdened

When I feel no obligation to explain the essence of my theme

Or the reasons for my chosen path

Those of which have caused my soul to scream

Far too often in the past


Maybe it’s me

Because these beads of perspiration are not from disregard

But they are the manifestation

Of the tenacity in my concentration

When focused on me


I choose to stay missing

Though easily seen

My words remain reserved

Because gossip breeds the judgment of others

And that is not my bridge to cross

Nor will it be my cross to bear

Because I choose conversation that promotes elevation

And for that reason my words I do not spare


What you can’t own gives you unrest

And I wouldn’t dare to leave you grieving

So excuse me for inhaling the same air that you’ve been breathing

And it’s okay

Don’t bother getting up

Because I was just leaving


Copyright © 2014 by Daryl R. Gaines. All rights reserved







Author's Notes/Comments: 

I am who I am. Take it or leave it. Love me or hate me. Either way I'm through justifying the essence of me. Only God can judge me

View beyond_words's Full Portfolio

Sugar and Cyanide

Feeling alive,

sugar and cyanide,

bursting into flames,

thoughts twinkle

and teeter on the edge,

crashing all the walls down,

collages formed,

pictures of us catch


faults start to form,

appears like cracks in mirrors,

screams scorch anything

you every said,

the I love you's,

the I will be there,

was lies,

not taking it I

try to stop the tapes,

try to stop

the memories,

pressing stop

I take out the film,

wanting the end

I cuddle up to you,

looking into your black eyes,

I take out a match,

igniting the spark I light your body on fire,

not even feeling I walk away without

looking back,

no more of the I love you again,

grow up,

when a heart

break it never breaks even,

never do a women wrong,

don't play with fire if you can't


handle the bright fire

To Become

Society's filled so dark
A sickness fit to last
A hasty hungry shark
A one that bites the glass

The air turns a poison mist
and the grass turns to a distant waste
A glare becomes a fist
and then a flower becomes erased



A burning fire fulfills the innermost humanly desires

Internal anger explodes when it is heavily built up and can not be controlled when the rage unfolds, my dare to you is to call me a liar

It is not 'cute' to see what my angry state is capable - - don't mistake me for being emotional

There's much more than just emotion swelling inside, with the fear to die I want to stay unbreakable

To be so easily broken can by malicious words alone can bring a strong person to their knees

Becoming a train wreck is not what I allow myself to be, those who are called the 'enemy' needs more than words to get me to leave

To do everything you wanted is not enough for you, what is there to do to satisfy you?

Caring reaches a breaking point when there isn't an end to your displeasure; a match not meant to be, severe negativity you produce will always let me lose

Aggress, Aggress, Aggression

Confess, Confess, I have a confession

Nobody is perfect in everything they do... its just how opinionated people's sense of taste in the way they choose to see you

Some like I don't care what viewpoints people may debate in a feud, meanwhile others believe they always have something to prove

Adding fuel to the tank will leave a person enraged without a doubt

The attempts hurt someone's feelings will leave the attacker in emotional distress or pain's shroud

It is possible to for every person to get aggressive

Anger Management isn't necessary for those who doesn't make their furious behavior to get overly obsessive

Obsess to the point pain infliction on the innocent is okay

It results in arrest by the authorities to keep the individual at bay, devising abuse on their prey

Spare me the doctors who try diagnose solutions to my mental condition

Their analyzing words meaningless to what was the opposing person's mission

I'm not fully sick, nor am I just a bitchy chick ; But its true I can be an insolent prick

I'm not Ms. Popularity, more than a few people out there are out to upset others with arrogance when opinions don't click

Acceptance is the key to partial happiness


Perfection doesn't exist in everyone's emptiness instead of drowning people further in the pool of misery, I cause injury by slaying them with kindness

View wordidealist's Full Portfolio

Twisted Lies

Happiness is what she confides in

As she stares into the night

There's nothing more satisfying

His comfort felt so right

She loves that calming look

As she looks deep in his eyes

But she suddenly has this feeling

That he's holding back some lies

He suddenly turned away from her

Now she felt so tossed

How can someone "complete" you

But continue to feel so lost

As she backs off from him

Her tears flowing down her face

He explains to her so tenderly

That he just needs some space

So weeks went by without one call

She started to feel her rage

He had her where he wanted her

Chained down and in a cage

She caught a glimpse of him one day

Her tummy in a whirl

For what she saw was full of pain

Him kissing another girl

Since that day she caged her voice

She put away her soul

Until that day she married him

And made her heart feel whole<3

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Had a little bit of help writing this from a friend :) but love how it turned out!

View kayzay1207's Full Portfolio