Self Loathing

The Anatomy of Indifference.



Silence swallows screams, unheard, unseen,

Isolation's icy fingers intervene.

Worthless, weightless—a whisper in the wind,

Concern and care consistently rescind.

 

 

Learned helplessness lingers, a phantom limb,

Diffusion of responsibility—humanity’s whim.

Each turns away, eyes averted, hands clean,

"Someone else will help," the collective keen.

 

 

Trust shattered like shards of brittle glass,

Faith in humanity—a fading, futile farce.

Social supports crumble, connections corrode,

Leaving loneliness to lighten the load.

 

 

Voices echo in vacant vestibules,

Pleas for help—perceived as ridicules.

Invisible, invalidated, incessantly ignored,

Self-worth withers, relentlessly deplored.

 

 

Hope's horizon blurs, hazy and distant,

As apathy's armor grows more resistant.

In this wasteland of indifference, we wander,

Unseen, unheard—left alone to ponder.

 

 

The weight of the world, once shared, now solely borne,

In a society seemingly sworn

To turn blind eyes and deaf ears to pain,

Leaving the vulnerable out in the rain.

 

Yet still we stand, silent sentinels,

Amidst the chaos of life's cruel carousels.

Unheard, unloved, but unbroken still,

Surviving spite of society's ill will.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

 I stupidly tried to reach out again for help and understanding. I joined numerous support groups over multiple platforms. One theme connected them all. Ignoring or treating my input with cold indifference. Once or twice you can excuse, people have bad days. Then it became clear. Simply, the world is just not made for people like me. My faith in humanity dwindled as did my trust in people, especially ones who should be allies. I grow weary. I am exhausted. I yearn for eternal sleep.

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Self Destruct

Folder: 
Self Loathing
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Plaster Face

Folder: 
Self Loathing
Author's Notes/Comments: 

My masks of plenty that oddly reflect my emotions I bury within.

Never Ending Cycle

Folder: 
Self Loathing
Author's Notes/Comments: 

..demons within.

What I am. What You see. What I want.

Folder: 
Pain and Heartache
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The Art of Seduction

Author's Notes/Comments: 

My one problem when I drink is womanizing and I try to convey that in some of my writes. I wake up the next day and realize the control I let my obessions have on me and I still go back to my same routines. - September 6th, 2018

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