"It's a hard thing
to decide
what side
to be living in today.
I once
was a man
who inspired smiles
with a bright hearty laugh
and jokes for folks
that were the inside-jokes
of the English Language,
(Puns, just in case
you were wondering).
But wandering about,
in this ugly,
heinous place
makes one think
well, twice,
about what makes a side.
What makes wrong,
what makes right.
The success
of written poetry
can be measured
on finger tips;
there is no way
to make pay and rent.
Remaining neutral
even draws hate,
those who decide
to have no denomination
in different categories of life
are called derelicts
and heretics
from both sides,
being assumed
we run for the other.
Why.
Why even try.
Why even try to write,
why try to beat
this sense of helplessness.
All too many reasons to frown.
All too many things
keeping me down.
And how will I make it
as a writer?
I won't,
that's how."
Why am I sat here
By JFarrell
Why am I sat here,
Listening to 80’s disco music?
“young hearts, run free”
“oops up side your head”
Music I haven’t listened to
In decades;
I’m too old to be feeling like a teenager,
And I really thought I was through,
Finished,
With these kind of feelings,
Those kind of dreams.
Why am I sat here,
Heart beating so fast?
It’s been so long,
I thought it had stopped beating years ago;
And, honestly,
Might have been better
If it had stayed that way.
Those kind of feelings, those kind of dreams
I’m a fool to begin with
And these make me more so.
Why am I sat here,
Fantasizing of brighter, happier tomorrows?
Please, dear reader, don’t say
“because you’re in love, you fool”
That just isn’t possible
I can’t even love myself.
There has to be another answer…
I am way too old
Me?
Love?
I’d be like a baby with a box of matches
And burn everything.
Why did you say so?
Why did you break my heart,
By uttering the bomb-like words?
I feel like being a soul apart!
At times I wonder,
Perhaps you take pleasure in poking me,
Have you ever thought,
How my heart bleeds silently?
Perhaps you will realise your mistake eventually,
Like the villain in a Bangla movie.
October.19.1997/March.29.2015
Trisha Barrek Hopkins
Like death is to an erie smell
As red as blood
Someone is hurting no one can tell
All you hear is a thud as that person falls to the ground
No one deserves to die like this
All full of pain
No heart here is found
At night you hear distant cries
Sounds like they are about to die
Sounds like pouring rain
Out of control
Nothing to gain
Without their soul
They only have the light
They have no place to go
Left in them they have no fight
To take care of them
They have nobody they know
As red as a rose
There's a drip of blood
Falling from their nose
Fighting the erge
Wanting to slice their wrist
But that wouldn't solve their problems
Or make people sad
It would get their family members mad
For no where to go
For now they can only hide
Holding all their pain
No body by their side
waiting to explode
Leaving a stain
Wanting to die
But don't understand
And don't know why
Just wanting a helping hand
Copyright
Why am I not good enough?
What did I do wrong?
Why am I not good enough?
Why must I be alone for so damned long?
Why am I not good enough?
Why am I not worth enough to try?
Why am I not good enough?
My wings will never fly.
Why am I not good enough?
What harm did I ever do to you?
Why am I not good enough?
Why must my dreams be so few?
Why am I not good enough?
Why must I do all this crying?
Why am I not good enough,
To do anything but slowly dying?
《♡》
It is there,
You see it in a flash,
And your heart races,
Because you do not know if after it passes,
You will be the same.
《♡》
All you have ever learned
Has told you that
To join in and merge
Is partly to be maimed,
Lost forever into
Some new conglomerate
Of the new you.
《♡》
And you said,
"Oh no, not me",
And moved on to the next phase
Of nothingness.
Because ignorance is
Supposed to bliss,
A kiss,
《♡》
Amiss,
Then it happens,
Syzygy's sweltering dark cloud
Hauntingly seeps into you
Like lying on a bed of nails,
Naked.
《♡》
You are in love with someone,
And it is nothing like anyone ever told you.
SYZYGY.
《♡》
And then you learn it's no big deal,
You are still driving your own vehicle,
Like the sign on the interstate...
"Merge".
.
X is a baby,
X is a child,
X is a sinner,
X has gone wild,
X is a girl,
X is a boy,
X is a bastard,
X is a toy,
X is mischievious,
X is enlightened,
X is the way,
X can be frightened,
X is sarcastic,
X, a delight,
X is the darkness,
X is the light,
X is a woman,
X is a man,
X is resentful, forgiving,
...it can,
X is a mountain,
...a river,
...a sun,
X is the MANY,
X is the ONE,
X is insatiable,
...satisfied, complacent,
X is a variable,
...but can have no replacement,
X is intelligence,
X is deformed,
X can be funny, sad,
...forlorned,
X is quite perfect,
...but also has flaws,
X is a life,
X is a cause,
X is a tear that runs down all our cheeks,
X is resilient,
...and yet,
...x is weak,
X is my daughter,
X is my son,
X=Why?
...when the journey's begun,
X becomes kindness,
...when below is above,
...and all answers refer back to X,
X is LOVE.
I need to be drunk,
I need to feel pain,
but from it, what do I gain?
Nothing, I'm just slowly being slain.
And by my own hand,
my own fucking demand.
Just look at me, how I spend my day.
The second I hear the alarm clock,
I'm reaching for that bottle of bock.
Then throughout the day I grow more pale,
bottle after bottle, ale after ale.
Then every time the thought to stop comes about,
I drown my doubt in a bottle of stout.
And to think it all started as a test,
Now I cant live without the taste, the sweetness,
Is there such a thing as alcohol proof happiness?
In my mind I'm screaming,
Somebody stop me!
I need help!
Don't leave me for dead!
I don't even sleep at night, I just lie in bed,
because there's nothing louder in my head than these words I never said.
Now I have a prediction,
about the future of my addiction.
I'd like to say I'll recover some day,
But I've never been one for words of fiction.
Odds are I'll continue to cave,
Until I meet an early grave.
Is there any other way to live with this insatiable crave?
-The Fever
Wake Up! Wake UP! No more sleeping in bed
Little Peter is crying he needs to be fed
Angie is failing she can’t even read
This problem exists because she is poor- that’s what her teacher now believes
We are failing our children while we lie asleep
Our family structure is failing and is proven to be weak.
Wake Up! Wake Up! Mother while Peter is being raped
By the same man you love and claim it’s you that he dates
Wake! Wake Up! Dad your daughter is growing old
She needs a man in her life – so she sleeps with the addict who treats her cold…
Wake Up mom and dad no more thinking about you
But instead of our children whose thoughts are misconstrued
The alarm clock has gone off- No more sleeping in bed
Let’s save the children we have left
‘Cause half of our children are already dead.
Wake Up!!!!