New Lyrics

You think I'm the one who gave up on us

But have you looked in the mirror lately?

Your reflection is faded like a ghost

Your eyes are black and your soul is empty

And you swear you're not the one

And that this argument is done

And you think I'm on the run

When, in fact, I'm fucking done with you

I'm gonna make it through

The hell you put me through

I'm gonna bury you


I am done


You think you're the one who's gonna save us

But you can't save yourself from imploding

You're swimming around in your own disgust

Your narcissistic ways are showing

And you swear you're not the one

And that this argument is done

And you think I'm on the run

When, in fact, I'm fucking done with you

I'm gonna make it through 

The hell you put me through 

I'm gonna bury you


I am done


Erase me

I'll erase you too

Replace me

Now I know we're through


You think you're the one who's gonna save us, but you can't save yourself


I'm fucking done with you

I'm gonna make it through

The hell you put me through 

I'm gonna bury you 


We are done

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Another brand new one just finished 12-30-22

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If Only

Verse 1:

If only I had more time,

Home would not seem so far.

I’m so far from home.

Did you forget you were my home?

Cause home is whenever we’re together.

I don’t know what to say or where to begin.

I won’t trade our love for anything.

No one will love you better than me.



If only we could getaway,

Home is a feeling I’ve buried in you.

I’m alright. I’m alright.

It only hurts when lies are believed to be true.

Freedom is shattering the lies

And making way for the truth.

I’ll be your anchor. I’ll be your everything.

If only we could be together, for eternity.


Verse 2:

If only I could be the one to guide you home,

The ocean waves crash onto shore.

The waves wipe away the messages in sand

That I’m trying to send to you.

If only we’ll become each other’s anchor,

Home will not seem so far.

Home is a feeling we’ve buried in each other.

If only time was on our side.



Are you ready to give your love to me?

Are you ready to make me your home?

Cause I’ve been thinking lately,

That you could be the one

That could save me from the misery.

If only, right here, right now,

We could become each other’s everything.

Home is a feeling we’ve built in each other.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

One of the many songs in book 4 that I'm currently working on.

Sugar Laced Words


You rushed in like a forceful wind. 

You did not ask, you just let yourself in. 

I tried hard to stop it but I was not strong. 

You tore down the bricks that made up my walls. 

Standing there as bare and naked as I could be.

That is when you crept in and stole me. 

Small sweet words were all it ever took.

To keep me swimming for that silent, sharp hook. 

The screams inside my brain would never cease.

I cupped my hands around my ears and scrunched up my face. 

I cried and tossed and turned, trying to sleep. 

But those mountains of guilt were far too steep. 

I tried to go and told you no more often than not. 

Sugar laced whispers were your only shot. 

Like a starving child I reached out my hands. 

Only to find two fistfulls of sand. 

I let it slowly sift through my fingertips. 

Watched it fall away as if it never did exist. 

I stood up tall once more and looked out at the sea. 

Raced toward the waves, leaving behind the shell who once was me. 

I looked back once and saw you kneeling on the shore. 

And I smiled because I did not fear you anymore. 


New Me

We have been talking for ten years. Friends for5 at first. However together for twn 


I broke the southern lady code and asked how he felt about marriage.

He said as long as we are together in God's eyes. He's not afraid of being in a

committed relationship. 

Together in God's eyes.

My sister says we are already family. My daughter calls him stepdad. He calls my daughter his bonus kid and stepdaughter. He loves her so much.

I am proud to be in a God ordained committed relationship.

I will be in it for the rest of my life and grow old with him 


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what I did when you weren't looking


I am the fucking cherry

that gets left on the plate

I am recreating a dirty kitchen

without making any room for reward

I have screwed up all my chances

made this home spell out the world crumble

and kicked out all the houseguests

at least the devils still here

are paying me for something


I can’t usually explain

the things that make my heart hurt

and these people have their own fucking friends

who will tell them everything is okay

they are okay


I can’t usually explain

why my heart has not taken me out to dinner

in a few decades

why my mind keeps slipping down the mountain

why I sit here with exactly what I want

still thinking up ways to make a tragedy out of it


so I publish all the gray on my desk

and leave out the color


so I keep buying clothes that don’t fit

running around in them

and being confused when the world looks strangely


so I keep going out with someone else’s face on

and forgetting it’s there

when I look in the mirror

but sigh shrug and say

at least it’s better than mine


so I sit here and set the room on fire

and when that’s not enough

I strike a match to the fire

and when other pieces of me

come in

I hear


why would you do this?


because I’m not you

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 3/1/22

Over You


Verse 1:
I carefully craft an image of you
In my mind.
But, sometimes, the reality does not match
The illusion in our dreams.
This is not how it should end
But, how it should begin.
Tell me: where do we go from here?


I am getting over you.
Though, the pace was slow.
I never needed to test my feelings for you.
But, you, you felt the need to test the waters.
Now, I’m left with nothing but our memories.
You got me in unbound memories.
You shattered my soul and spirit.

Verse 2:

Though, I don’t need to know your sins.
You will be a scarlet letter for the world to see.
Your past continues to haunt you.
Christ cannot save you from your sins.
You confessed your sins to me.
You dragged me along yet
Always looked for someone better.


If only you could see
That I know your story
Better than anyone,
We could become each other’s everything.
Though, I don’t know what lies ahead,
I’ll follow you wherever you will go.
Our lives are caged in together.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is the first song in book 2 (kindle direct publishing) that I self published on amazon kdp service about finding true love in a cruel world/society that degrades relationships to just having a good time.

what is wrong with me

What do you want from me

What future do you see for us


I want to know what you want from me

I want to know what I can do for you to see me


I hate the feeling of being vunerable 

Why does my feelings feel invalid 


Why can I not express myself to you 


Why can't I open up to you 


What is wrong with me

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Our relationship

I am standing in front of you

You stare right through me


I am looking at you

You are looking down at your phone


The gratification you receive from social media 

The addiction you have developed 


How do you see me

How do you feel about me

Am I attractive enough 

Am I funny enough

Am I not emotional 

Am I good enough


Where do I stand with you

I never know


Your words mean so little 

Your actions show me more


I am disheartened 

I am dissatisfied 


I feel insignificant 

I feel empty


I wish you werent distracted by everyone but me

Will I ever feel good enough for you


What do I need to do


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I Keep Building Windows


I am the physical form of things I don’t want to feel

I wake up with the world’s tears on my shoulders

and yesterday’s sweat in my eyes

when half the world is asleep

I am callous and cruel and a million more things

as the ghosts keep throwing me questions

I don’t have the answers to

please see me as more than a pile of the

shit I put you through

cause when the walls burn down I keep building windows

I keep trying to see you

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 5/6/21

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