I Walk An Endless Road

I walk endless an road

locked into a heavy load

Of these questions and fears

Gripping from it's unreasonable tears


As a car roars by

I look dead into it's light

Wondering where it leads

But just like that it's gone

just like another day

As I wake up to the sun's harsh light


I try not to look back

As I attempt to fill this crack

Of this hurt and wonder

Unstoppable, a storm of rain and thunder


As a car roars by

I look dead into it's light

Wondering where it leads

But just like that it's gone

just like another night

As I stay up to the moon's hypnotic might

I Have an Unknown Friend

I have an unknown friend, who lives in the sky

Why I question him, I do not know why

I should not go to look for him, they say

But I know he'll want to look for me someday

I wonder, I ponder, even as I sleep

I dare not awake, for I have gone too deep

But again, the sun calls to another abrupt wake

Alone again, to find an answer for my sake

I take another step foward, for this I will fight

Forever wrapped in this question, how it echoes through the burning light

I wonder

I often wonder…

Where I’ll end up

If I’ll have enough

If I’ll find my soul mate

If I’ll make it to the pearly gates

If I’ll die alone with tons of cats

If I’ll burn in hell, with a bunch of rats

If I’ll just die and stay dead

If I’ll die and live, like the book said

If I have any real friends

If they’re all the same, with dead ends

If life had to be such a pain in the neck

If I have a screw loose up in my head

If the voices in my head will ever go away

If the mother will ever think I’m okay

If she’ll ever treat me the way she treats them

 If my life will ever actually begin

Author's Notes/Comments: 

it's like i can never stop thinking of "if's"

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But It Can't Speak

You say you love

But love can't speak

And that it's wide

But is it deep?


Can you see

How fars its reach?

Love is blind

For it can't see


You say you love me

But it can't speak


I thought I felt it

But love can't feel

Was it a ghost?

Or something real


Sometimes I get caught up in thought

And then those words begin to haunt

Do you believe Love's reached it's peak?

I'd ask our love

But it can't speak


How do you gauge

This love we've amassed

It doesn't age

It will outlast


For love was here before we found

But by our love I will be bound

For the love we had I will always seek

I'd ask it to stay

But it can't speak

To My Future Wife


Everyone is half of who they’re intended to be

So I wonder if you’re the better half of me

And sometimes I wonder, as I look at the sky

If you’re waiting too, the exact same as I


Sing me a love song, never to part

Play on the strings, deep in my heart

Speak the words that heal my hurt soul

Say that you love me, make me whole


I thought I’d found love once before

But only after do I see what it was for

It was practice; a broken road, true

But thank God it led me straight to you


All these things I think, but we haven’t met

In fact, I’m not even sure that we’ve met yet

But I still pray for you every night

Thanking God that He picked you; for me you’re just right


Sing me a love song, never to part

Play on the strings, deep in my heart

Speak the words that heal my hurt soul

Say that you love me, make me whole


I learned love from a sacrifice

Though I once hated God, He paid the price

For me to live; made again new

And just as a present, He made you


I may not be perfect as yet

But just for you, I’ll do my very best

I think you’ll find, deep within me

A man who’ll love,

And protect,

And cherish you



That’s just me

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A walk in the dark; feels immense, never ending

Those days when the wind whispers lullabies gently

Engulfed in his thoughts, trees carry him off

The wood guides him to an obscure place in the fog


Surreal yet ominous; what it feels to linger here

Best not hamper the placidness, or be caught unaware

He winds upon a majestic tree and stops to stare

Realizing in awe how grand it really must be out there

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Peaceful descendants to madness


      Here i am walking in this darkness,

looking for someone else who dosen't look right through me,

with all these voices in my head,

can anyone tell me why im just so alone,

I remeber when you use to say i could be anyway

now i can't even find you in this dark cold world 

Lost and confused i wonder in this place scream just 

to find my savoiours grace. 

      As i walk what seems to be an eternity i think i see

your face. when i got closer its nothing but a mirror and all

i see is this face, i dont even reconize this face anymore. This face is nothing 

to me i see a horrid person of no remorse of no life or pain.

All i see in this mirrior is me. 

   This descendant into madness is killing me. You use to make my

nightmares go away you used  to say its ok youits not your fault that you can't stay.

now i cant find my way around up, down, left, right, they all look the same to me.

In this darkness descending down too far to tell my way around scream help me

help my sole help this friglechild befor she falls.

      All these voices in my head all this pain and too much dread.

can one little girl take this pain can one little girl keep secret.

So much pain no father to hold her one man alone can ease her pain

screaming so loud her ears start to bleed. Hands on her face with gental grace

a voice so sweet saying its ok im hear please do you fear your never alone in this space

Een when darkness grabs yor heart im hear till your days grow short and our lives are no longer

Bright green eyes open to meet bright blue ones  a kiss to the nose tears fall quietly.

arms wrap her body and peace befalls her every whim. 

Darkness no longer holds her secrets but shes still in a descendant into madness.


Author's Notes/Comments: 

Hope you like it guys <3 Tongue Out

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Makeshift Lanterns


Upon the glimmer of eve's first sighted twinkling star,
wishes for treasure, including fireflies for the jar
Asked wonders and trinkets, which awe with delighted swoon,
sincere whispers whisk past the face of a smiling moon

Viewed sparkling tinsel and makeshift lanterns that glow,
beckon eyes to surrender with radiant trove’s show
In sweetened slumber, gatherings of wished treasures stream,
with sprinkle of dust from sandman comes a time to dream


Aloft on fragile wings through fluorescent rainbow skies,
realm of the journey lies in conjured mystic guise
Sought tinseled fields shine beneath night’s swaddling shawl,
makeshift lantern’s bright amber magic surrounding all

Across the yard swooping on wings made of finest gold,
fond dreams were placed within a jars safe hold
Asked wonders and trinkets, which awe with delighted swoon,
throughout the years whisk past the face of a smiling moon

© C.E. Vance


















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Despite the tiny hands
drawing faces and writing names.
The frost covered window
manages to cloth itself
in a new layer of fog
on a cold rainy day.
Closing out sight
from the outside world.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I'm back. Let's do this. Go re-read it and think about it some more. Lazy bastard.

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