It's no joke
when you smell smoke
find out where it's coming from
and run man run
smoke can make you choke
smoke can make you croak
your eyes may burn and start to tear
smoke is something you should fear
it's no joke
when you smell smoke
just like a smoking gun
it can kill someone
*
Mist as incense rises
before the dawning sun,
each wave aglow
with his light
As slowly the sun
ascends higher,
every tidal pool
inlet and bay
all creeks and streams
image his face of fire.
-saiom shriver-
*
http://il6.picdn.net/shutterstock/videos/11970134/thumb/1.jpg?i10c=img.resize(height:160)
Sound of Drums
Smoke, ashes, sound of drums.
Smoke, ashes, sound of drums.
Smoke, ashes, sound of drums.
Smoke, ashes, sound of drums.
The day is past.
The dead are dead.
Their lives for naught.
Rebellion, they led.
Their Freedom!,
Never was.
Their Freedom!,
Will never be.
Slaves, chains, sound of drums.
Slaves, chains, sound of drums.
Slaves, chains, sound of drums.
Slaves, chains, sound of drums.
The time is past.
The slaves are slaves.
Their lives ruled by law.
The rebellion, did not last.
Their bravery, their flaw.
Their Freedom!,
Never was.
Their Freedom!,
Will never be.
Smoke, ashes, sound of drums.
Smoke, ashes, sound of drums.
Smoke, ashes, sound of drums.
Smoke, ashes, sound of drums.
walking through a smokey fume.. in this sealed up dark room..
I saw your eyes bleeding blue.
going up, going down. spin spin around & around
falling to my knees, calling out to God, please
save me from this crucifixion
cut the ties to lifes addictions
spit up the lies you fed, on which I choked
climbing up these ropes
running away from the hoax
insanity, the only word she knows.
deep in the dungeon, I go plunging
searching for the meaning
intervening, I come between two scales..
a lions head with three flaming tails.
i'm not like this.. you're leading me to be crazy..
one day i'll run, forever away from you, maybe...
like the speed of light, in a flash, little hazy.
there's more for me then this demonic plague..
there's more to life then constant conviction.
wrists are shaking & those screams begin to take a toll..
driving round this winding road..
i'm done with your pitiful smold of an existence..
don't act like you know what i'm missing.
so here I plant my feet in the ground, not bending for you now
never again will I twist or turn
because bitch, you've got so much to learn.
nowadays all she does is whine about her bodily pains,
but when you were left alone,
she stayed drunk, prowling the bars
days on end,
oblivious to the emotional wreckage left
on your chest, like a hot iron
melted through the tender heart of a 10 year old,
the open wound to the
skin,
cauterized shut
too soon,
without even leaving any open flesh
for the pain to be released,
seared closed with the shame, pain, and false pride of generations,
sealed in for years like a safety box of magnets,
pulling you towards anything and everything self-destructive
in a desperate search for some morsel of hope,
that the next christmas dinner might be more than
knocking on the doors of neighbors, being lucky enough to be
asked in to share a holiday meal,
and an attempt to be noticed for something other than the burden
you were to her deep and fervent longing for
the escape, into smoke filled rooms,
that reeked with the heavy, putrid smell of week-old frying grease,
cigarettes, and hairspray, that became one of your main
reasons for going to live with your dad--
other than the day she up and left for california,
a 50 dollar bill to substitute her mac and cheese, dribbled with
one and a half inches of ashes off a pall mall,
only to be less than reluctantly welcomed by him,
and a stepbrother who most always was
notably more worthy of better dirtbikes, nicer clothes
and a much more frequent pat on the back
for a job well done,
that most often wasn't.
a dollar for him and quarter for you, along with the bottom bunk,
that smelled like pee from all the years he wet the bed,
only ever good enough for sloppy seconds--
and then there was brownie,
poor broken down swayback, with skin infections,
baldspots and degenertive bone disease,
in light of your brother's black stallion stud,
as if the 6 inch scar on the back of your leg wasn't enough
from your father's drunken rage with a 4 inch hunting knife,
and the glass from the window that left it's souvenir the night he threw you
across the room, all before the age of 14.
shit.
i may have shot that horse between the eyes too.
11:37 PM 6/26/2013
©
.........
I can't focus... it's getting to me, more each day..
my thoughts stretch like clay, & unfortunately mold me, here & there..
I wish so much for you to of been able to stay.
was it really mean't to be this way..?
cause I surely feel unsatisfied..
comfort is something we all crave..
but you were like security to me, & I watched it all get ripped away..
what a waste of a night.. what a realization, I couldn't fight..
I miss you more then the depths of the ocean go deep..
some nights like this.. I have trouble trying to sleep..
we yearn, we learn.. forever burn...
tables turn..
I want to take back so much i've said..
because they were useless particles floating around in my head..
6 months pass.. everything falls to ash but the memories..
fuck me for letting other opinions get in the way of my true heart..
fuck them for denying love.. as if they really knew.
sorry I can seem like a rainbow of emotions.. or a bleak cloudy day..
but I can promise much sunshine after being drenched in such heavy rain..
will another 6 months make a difference..?
or would it just be a whole year spent needing you..
it's not like I can't live... or breathe without you..
but it's to the point I really just don't want to...
sorry about getting "distracted"..
I don't excpect you to still feel like you need me,
want, love or care about me..
though I feel all the same & even more.
this incense continues to coil... & I could watch it for hours.
as i'm thinking.. when I die.. would this all of passed right before my eyes?
I want to know that instead of sitting here, waiting..
hoping, wondering.. not knowing..
instead, I'll get to see you smile again..
that for me, would never ever be a waste of time.
at least i'd know that's what I did with my last bit of life.
I don't know if I have the power anymore to get you to laugh without trying..
or the privilege of being on your mind...
when I take my last breath, please tear this heart out of my chest..
put it in a jar.. keep it preserved.
if you go first.. i'll remember your wish, if it's still what you'd want.
i'll hold onto yours too.. even though it's no longer beating..
always I will love you.. through my hands this blood is seeping..
like treasure... from the chest.
metallic love..
The graze of your touch stings like shards of glass..
making my heart tremble and shake inside it's cage of desolace..
and as i'm with you, I can feel the emptiness seep deeper, my soul is drowning..
leaking of darkness..
Black ink of despair. pour it all over me, drench my spirit..
it already feels too heavy to bare.
as you glance over, you'll see I was never really there..
perhaps I was just smoke passing through the air..