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Did you ever care?

Did you ever feel the same way?

How much of it was real?

How much f it was lies?

You must of known I cared,

You must of known how I really felt,

I wanted to make you happy,

I wanted to show you I understood,

How could you be so cruel?

How could you not see it was hurting me?

I took a chance and trusted you,

I took a chance and let you in,

You never let me in,

You never seemed to care,

How much pain does pleasure bring?

How much pleasure does pain bring?

Why didnt you stop it?

Why did you carry on?

You hurt me in ways I never knew,

You hurt me permanently,

I have scars from you,

I have scars because of you,

I gave you a second chance,

I gave you a third chance,

You chose to burn those bridges,

You chose to burn me.

I know I need to walk away,

Tell me its over even though it never began,

Remove the spell Im under,

Let me live in peace,

My heart aches at the thought of you,

Why did I fall for you?

I let you in and you shut me out,

Only there when it was convenient for you.

I told you I wont chase you forever,

One day I will give up and walk away,

No matter how great the pain,

How much I miss your touch,

The taste of you on my lips,

Your skin against mine,

Intoxicating scent of pheremones,

The adrenaline rush,

Hearts pounding and pulses thumping,

Im going to miss it all,

But most of all,

Im going to miss you.

Ego sum paenitet me dilexit vos.

I

Am

Sorry

I'm sorry.

I can't see the meaning of those words anymore.

Black & blue;

Bruised, on the floor, & what do I hear?

"I'm sorry, you didn't deserve that, you weren't the girl I should have hit."

No, shit.

Curled into the fetal position;

A piece of my soul was taken sans permission.

Forced into submission...

Yet, I hear it again;

"I'm sorry, I didn't know it was rape."

"Rape can't happen between a couple anyway, plus I love you, I'm sorry."

How does one process this mess?

I'm sorry, I forgot how english works.

I'm sorry, my soul fucking hurts.

I'm sorry, perhaps I shouldn't be so nice.

Sugar, spice, everything nice...

Tweak the ingredients.

Fuck this obiediece;

Encoded in my D.N.A.

Fuck what I have to say.

I'm sorry I was there for you when you were on special k.

I'm sorry I can't be nice today, "my baaaad".

Your words of choice.

I'm sorry your mom is a fuckin' crack junkie.

I'm sorry your father shot himself in the head.

I'm sorry, you're not as strong as me.

I'm sorry you think strength is monetary.

I'm sorry, my mom doesn't wake me up spilling trash all over me.

How I have grown to loathe the words...

"I'm sorry"

"My bad"

Too bad, so sad, I am left to just toughen up.

I'm sorry I didn't wanna do horse tranquilizers with you.

I'm sorry that the cops caught you at a fuckin' drive thru.

Now,

I'm sure you see,

You use a word too much, it loses it's meaning.

Fair weather friends, come and go like changing seasons.

Apologies, you have lost me.

Fathom the reasons.

I feel sorry,

When I see,

The destitute children,

Time and again.

I feel sorry,

When I see,

A poor mother,

To feed the baby does suffer.

I feel sorry,

When I see...

You could say sorry,

But quite surprisingly,

You behaved as if I were guilty,

This was nothing but your hypocrisy.

So many times I forgave your mistakes charitably,

But you like Lady Macbeth kept on being a brownie,

You should’ve stopped playing games with my sensitivity,

Instead from bad to worse you went eventually!

You mustn’t disregard that the Almighty is there,

Think of the afterlife, not of the fleeting life here.

I felt sorry,

For misunderstanding her,

I felt poignant awfully,

As it was I who made her dejected there.

She is like a river,

Who gives selflessly,

Who doesn’t want anything in return ever,

An angel, earthly.

I must never make her feel low,

Satan himself strives hard though.

 Febuary.17.2002 8:40pm

 Trisha Barrek Hopkins

There are things people do

When they're not thinking right

If I could only get in touch with you 

I'll look you in your eyes

And say sorry as I hold you tight 

As I wipe the tears away as we cry

And promise I'll never hurt you 

I promise you that this day

And let me assure you 

That's no lie

Please sweetheart

Give me another try

She's the one who tore us apart

With all her lies

Can't you see

You're one with my soul 

Since the start 

I never really wanted to set you free

Or let you go

What I'm trying to say

Is I'm sorry deep down inside

I want you back in my life

I don't want it anyother way 

Remember our saying

Best friends and a day

From the begining to the end

I miss you 

These words I write

They are all true

I want you back in my heart

In my eyes

Back in sight

Copyright

Mom
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry i get sad.
I'm sorry I cry alot.
I'm sorry I have many scars.
I'm sorry I'm a disgrace.
I'm sorry I have times I've wanted to die.
I know you didn't expect that I would become 
what I am today when you adopted that tiny me 
all those many years ago.
I'm sorry...

I'm so, so sorry!

I’m a dagger with a smile

Watch me lure victims in

With genuine kindness

Then slaughter their hearts by nature

I’m a vampire with tears

Pulling in the innocent

As I drain their sweet blood

And absorb every stinging pain

I’m a bullet who won’t whistle

Burning on the inside

Right before I burn yours

Half a second later

I’m a teenager who’s sorry

Toying with puppets

And cutting their strings

Right when the felt real

the need

to be ugly 

to get

attention

to be pathetic

out of grief

for lives

destroyed

i've known

comatose

with more 

intelligence

2:16 AM 7/6/2013 ©

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