letting go

Hello

Every single “Hello”

Is worth the pain – of letting go.

It’s addictive, it’s scary

But I fall into deep tranquility

When you’re beside me.

 

Time stops –

And you wish it’ll be forever…

A piece of calmness,

A breath of happiness –

Of freedom…

Is worth facing a thousand

Uncertainties of tomorrow.

 

So I will always say “Hello”.

A piece of your smile,

Of your heart…

Is worth the pain of letting go.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

06Feb13 – Dinner @ Old Town White Coffee Restaurant in New World Park.

©angeljerlin

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What do you think will happen now?

what do you think will happen?
you lie to the ONE person you know you shouldn't
you say you love him and you don't
you see other men while you are "with" him
you continue your pursuit of your once secret relationships
relationships where deceit and lies are the foundation
relationships that think they are special to you

it didn't work for us
it won't work for someone else
you need to stop and take some time to yourself
and think about what will happen

you can't protect the feelings of those you care about
you can't use lies to heal
the truth eats away at you
and if you don't stop telling lies, it will consume you completely
and you will look back and see there is nothing for you
what do you think will happen?

it isn't true that not getting caught is things "working themselves out"
it isn't true to lead someone on, that they will be happy with that
it isn't true to sacrifice dignity for no ones sake is helpful to anyone in any way

what do you think will happen?
take the wheel and stop rolling dice
think about how it hurts them in the long run
think about being really nice
if you lie too much, you'll end up believing them too
isn't it a painful confusion to keep the stories straight?
how love for you turns into fear and hate?

try a walk without a report or an audience
try to have a dream and ask yourself what it means
try to listen when someone trusts you and shares with you
try to be honest even though no one really wants the truth
try to think about what it's like to be someone else
try, with the rest of us, to make Earth less of a living hell

what do you think will happen?
do you think you are invisible?
do you think everyone will swallow your pill?
do you think you've finally got your fill,
or do you have a lot more to dole?

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What is...

Folder: 
my fucked up head

What is loving you?
What is missing you?
It's nothing but a sunless day, it is nothing but a bottomless pit.
It will lead me to nowhere...it will stir nothing but doubt.
What's the point of this ache?
What is the point of this need?
A road to nowhere,
A dead end street.
Pointless...useless...
What is loving you...you ask?
Its hurting without need...it is burning from the inside and never dying.
What is missing you? ... it's confusing, its pathetic, its a never ending shameful hate.

What is loving you?
What is missing you?

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Silhouette August 24, 2012

Out of sight.
Out of mind
Somehow, these memories
Won’t fade with time.
A silhouette is
All I see.
Shdows and darkness
Engulf your mind.
Take me back
To those days
Where we both
Were so carefree
And simply living…
Making the best
Of all we have
Despite all those
Abuses suffered.
These scars run deep
Into your mind, heart,
Body, and soul.
Close your eyes.
Imagine a world
Where we’re both
Relinquished of our
Pasts that still haunt us.
Move forward.
Go free.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written based on the situations of my close friend and I...progress and regression is a pain in addition to various forms of abuse suffered.

The Angel and The Beast

Folder: 
My Love

I once loved an angel
A pretty mystery
Who took joy
In her freedom to fly
Far above life’s pains
Never tied to anyone
Never sorrow known
Never a tear on her face
Never sadness shown

Then she met me
A sorry, troubled beast
Who once had loved another
But lost her to the wind
Whose wings were firm and strong
And whose heart was hard as steel
But melted at the sight of her
Stood in awe at the sight of her

She tied herself to me
And gave to me her wings
Never to fly once more
Never again to leave
But I knew she was meant to fly
And like a bird in a cage
Although she sang so sweetly
I could easily see her pain

So I give you my wings my angel
Don’t cry for me anymore
I made my choice
Now you can fly
Through the sky once more
And when you come back down
Remember me
I’ll be here
With scars you won’t see
Where my wings used to be
But I’ll smile all the same
And quietly call your name
Because redemption you were to me
For all eternity

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Kind of like my own twist on the Beauty and The Beast theme. Enjoy

Goodbye

Goodbye
I stand alone.
My "heart of stone",
Lays shattered before my feet.
And I wonder what to do,
Pick up the pieces or run to you.

I'm falling now.
I'm breaking down.
I know you won't catch me.
But here I am with you in mind.
Not a chance of breaking free.

You've got me boy.
To you I'm a toy.
You keep taking my happiness away.
But I'm done with trying now.
There's nothing I can do to make you stay.

So goodbye.
Please go die.
I'm done with these feelings I have for you.
If I can't stop them, I'll hide them.
Either way I'm done with you.

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Awakening

Folder: 
2010-2012 Poems

Where the dusk meets the dawn,
And all dreams sublime-
My thoughts are as intense
As the first ray of sun.

And these thoughts are in vain
Unheard, blown by the wind.
Like lost dandelions
Scattered in the abyss.

You can call it surrealistic liberty
Or a self-inflicted crime.
To find my way to you
Is a struggle of a lifetime.

But oh, sacchariferous naiveté!
Morphine to 'our' impossibility,
It's better you do not know-
You allure and terrify my inner core.

You are worth fighting for, you make me happy.
But I can't lead you to a life, uneasy.
I won't cross the line, I take heed.
Cause I would have loved you more than anything-

I concede.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

-jerlin (15Feb12)

Steps Of Letting Go

Taking the first step, you can hear your heart racing.
Now at step two you wish you could stop chasing.
As you take the third step it slowly sinks in,
That the person you love, you will never win.
If you got up to four, you certainly know, most of those feelings won't ever go.
Don't tumble now! You can't let it show.
Step number five is saying "as long as you're happy, I'm as happy as can be"
But in your heart you're thinking, why didn’t you pick me?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Why does it have to be so hard?

Slippery Señorita

Folder: 
2010-2012 Poems

Breaking dawn, killing time.
Stepped at the happy dance floor.
Blues and hues, screaming crowd,
Lost in a smokey universe.

Nameless walls, faceless smiles.
A shot or two of yellowish crime.
A toast for us--to happiness! to life!
Prelude with salt, conclude with lime.

Slip and slide, bounce and jive.
Absorb the beat to feel alive.
Let the wounds heal, the world disappear--
You're with your angels, you're safe here.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

-(c)jerlin 03Oct11 -and so we dance...

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