letting go

Tell me..

i always wonder about you,
what youre doing,where you go.
cant help thinking,are you really the man i used to know?
what going on? whats happening to you,
is this all just a game? coz i really dont have a clue.

im here worrying and you dont even give a damn,
my minds all messed up,and youre acting like youre all that numb.
tell me where to go,explain to me why,
if you want me to leave,ill go but please say youre fine.

how can i move on if i cant help but think of you,
am i the joke here? to you,am i just another girl to screw?!
am i really that stupid.. to imagine you even care?
damn, im just fooling myself all along,this is just so unfair.

should i really have to erased every memory i had about you?
pretend like we never met,bury every smile i had with you?
hurts like hell and i think you should know,
but im not mad at you,i shouldnt have let myself fall.

it'll take time for me,and please allow me so,
it was a happy moments for me,to just easily let it go.
but just before i go and put everything behind me,
tell me youre doing fine,tell me everything is the way you wanted it to be...

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Finding Independence from the Shadows a collection of poems by CM

Untitled

Freedom
The aching in your being
It’s longing to break the bars
Escape the captors
And soar freely
Not to worry about the another person
Disapproving
Being disappointed
In you
No more
Breaking the chains
Finally free
Finally able to feel
And be me

-

The phoenix in me

I begin to heal
(very slowly)
I being to walk
(learning anew)
I begin again
(arising from the ashes)
I begin to live
(perhaps for the first time)

-

Be strong

Be strong for you
Because sometimes that’s all you’ve got
Be strong
There will always be people
Who want to tear you done
Because you’ve got something
Not everyone else can have
Be strong
You’ve got friends
No matter how hopeless
You think it is
Be strong
For you
Because no one else
Will be strong for you

-

To my friends

I don’t know why
I think good things won’t happen to me
I don’t know why
People still put faith in me
When I leave none for myself
I don’t know why people see my beauty
When I don’t
I don’t know why people can call me a friend
When most of the time I’m a royal you know what
I don’t know why I’ve been given so many chances
By people who really shouldn’t bother
I don’t know why
I can’t see to do this on my own
When I really am making the effort (I swear)
I don’t know why
Half the things happened to me that do
But I’m beginning to understand
Everything happens for a reason
You fall down, you get up
I don’t know where all the these friends came from
But I’m eternally grateful for them

-

Sometimes

Sometimes we find peace
In the things that gave us chaos
Sometimes we find solace
In the things that destroyed us
Sometimes we face out fears
Instead of running away
Sometimes
Things happen
That we cannot truly explain
Sometimes
It is harder to back track
On things done & words said
Sometimes
We just have to simply exist
Live for ourselves
And for the moment
Even if it doesn’t last
Because
Sometimes
That’s all we have

-

Free Flowing

Verses flow through my mind again and again
It doesn’t help to block them out, gotta reign them in
Gotta let it out, gotta let the words flow
Part of the evolution of an artist, just gotta let things go
My words are harsh, sometimes cruel
My life lessons need to be used as a tool
Most people would say “she’s only twenty-five”
But I’m thankful for every day I’m alive
I’ve fought the battles against my own self
Where my confidence and self-worth were put on a shelf
Struggled to make it day by day
Coming through the haze with a lot more to say
Don’t let anyone tell you who to be
Because in the end, it’s you who has to feel free

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This collection is about rediscovering the things that make you "you", its the aftermath of the storm after a break up, seeing the sunlight and finding the strength to move on. Comments as always are welcome.

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Slipping into the Shadows - a dark poetry collection by CM

The darker half

Sweet sudden darkness
Surrounds me
She is here yet again,
My dark angel
My savior
Her wings wrap around me
I am trapped
On the edge of the Abyss
No choice
But to turn into
Her loving/kill embrace
The darkness surrounds me
Yet again
I
Am
Hers
-

Truth in the bottle

You’re my drug of choice
My number one disease
You make me beg, suffer
Smile and laugh
You’ve got me on my knees
Take another sip
Have another round
Get moving to the music
We all know how it’s gonna
Go down

-

Just another reason to let go

You-
You were always there
Leering
Didn’t I do good enough this time?
Or have I failed you again
I can’t live with the burden
You’ve placed on my shoulders
The memories are like scares
That will never heal
I think we’ve done
Enough damage
To each other

-

Dissolution

I knew it for a while now
The feelings of solitude
Have had a chance to sink in
You’re drifting
And it’s too late to rekindle
We’ve fallen in & out too many times
One last breath before taking the plunge
Going down this rollercoaster ride
One last time
You ask me for a feeling
To put it into words
Would relief work for you?
I’m as tired of this ride as you as you
I’m not surprised
The illusion was bound to face
You want friendship
I don’t want the title
So let me fade away

-

My latest addiction

Sweet succulent bliss
I’ve found you again
Breathing you in
And exhaling your gloriousness
My sweet release
You are my secret addiction
Drink in hand
You accompany me
Light up another
When it goes down
All becomes clear
It’s all bearable
With you around

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is one of the collections of poems I have written, I grouped them based on theme as most of my poems are fairly short. These were written over the course of several years. Some are about lust, love and the destructiveness of a relationship. I appreciate comments. thanks.

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Familiar Stranger

 

Dear stranger,

 

How are you? 
Me, I couldn't be better,

   considering the
   storm that ripped me to
    a thousand pieces.

Try hard as I could,
I can't conjure your
    image anymore.

Not so long gone, I
   fought for sanity,
   swimming back to the
   distant  shores.
The storm of lukewarm feelings,

   pushed me further into seas.
So I shut my thoughts,
    as I shut my world.
When my mind opened,
    you were a stranger.
My heart recognized
    you from a far past.
A familiar face,
     familiar stranger.
 Someone I once loved...

                          Wondering,
                                   S

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In the Name of Light

Groggy mind, lost within the self
In the swelling tides of peace
Though tears try to flood

 

I will not allow

The dehydrated tears fall
because I have allowed the end

 

The tombstone marks the end
Of the Highway where I leave
Off our path and onto my own

 

Bal’dons on my back
Black leather armor
Caressing my scar field body

 

I spit on the Highway
Before continuing into the dawn
For now, let there be light

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You Haven't Yet

Folder: 
Dolour

This headache of trying to lose you
To give you up and this fight of goodbye
Why do I want to still taste your kiss
To feel your fingertips shivering me
Into the lust lie you spin
Why? For seven years I loved you, why?
Why never stop me in the beginning
to say I don't feel the same
To spare me the agony you have given me
The constant headache of pounding fists
Of breaking my hands against the solid wall
Around my heart, Yes I am breaking
Into my own heart, because I have said goodbye
Why haven't you excepted it yet?

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Heaviest sack

Today I find
my anger berates me
I speak to my friend and
think that he hates me

crashing
burning
losing my compass
I keep trying to fix it
but find disappointment

Now I don't even want to write
It seems to me I've lost my sight

I no longer feel the wind...
in my sails

He makes me feel that I'm unworthy...
yet I continue to try...
to be in it...
to stick with it...
for the friendship

I know these things he says are true...
to some degree...
I am stuck...
stuck...
in this same spot...
my baggage...
too heavy...
to move on...

yet I keep packing...

I have to unpack!
it's too hard on my back!
and I really don't want
a bigger sack...

I want to let it go...
the process is sooo slow...

Little by little
I throw things away...
yet there's always more
to put in their place

I keep finding the items
I thought I got rid of...
as soon as I do I pick them up....
I observe them...
and back in the sack they go...

damn it, it's heavy...

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Time Passage

Folder: 
2000

I thought it was all going to be okay

Life would be better without you

For a long while since

It has been very true

 

Then I began to relive it all

All that we had been through

And realized one tearful night

My love for you was still true

 

I was going to act upon this

And tell you my heart was still yours

As it was fir so very long

I am sorry for all the hurt and I’ll heal the sores

 

Then everything went terribly wrong

Love for me you did not show

Yet sadly when confronted

You asked your friends why they went so low

 

This tore me up inside you see

The pain was so real and intense

But I never let it show

I never gave you any hints

 

Moving on is my next goal

To forget you is a must

Throw away my feelings for you

And let those tender emotions rust

                       

~Chrystal

Written on

November 5, 2000 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This one was yet another written about a boyfriend. It was about how i let him go, found I still loved him, and was confronted with the fact he didnt care anymore.

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RELEASING THE OLD--LIBERACION DE LA VIEJA----SENRYU


Libero a la antiqua

desando que llegue el nuevo

antiipacion. 

(c) copyright heather burns

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