letting go

MY LAST DREAM OF YOU

My last dream of you

And I saw you again in my dream last night..
Were on the cliff of the mountain above the ocean under the night sky..
You smile and held my hand so tight
And you ask me if we could fly
But when you step your foot in the air
I realized that my heart is too heavy to make myself light.
I felt that everything you done to me was unfair.
What I want for you is wrong, what I don’t is right .
Im hanging on you like an anchor in a ship that weighting you down.
“I’m sorry..” I said.

I hold out your hand and feel my body splashed into the water as a sky meet the dawn..
And that’s how my dreams end.

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Pushed Away

Folder: 
2013

You say that you’ll lose me

To him, again

I’m sorry but you are wrong

You cant lose something

That you have never had

You lost me many months ago

Because of your insecurities

And your worry that someone,

Anyone will take me away

Well I'm here to tell you

That no one will ever take me

Not from you, not from anyone

Unless I want to be taken

But you never knew that

And if you did, you never,

Ever showed it

Not to me, not to anyone

So here it is,

Here is the reason for everything

You cant keep something,

You cant hold on to

Something that you pushed away

So long ago

 

~Chrystal

Written on 

April 27, 2013

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this about my ex, Tom Neville. This wasnt the end of us, only the beggining of trying to let him go. In the end, I did finally let him go. That wasnt until many months later.

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She Said She Hates

I certainly can empathize with the weight of passion expressed in this poem. It is not an easy thing to place your feelings aside when we see horrific crimes such as are acted out daily in our society. I was raped several times as a minor child, and eventually had to come to grips with this truth about our society. I went through the rigorous process of exposure therapy, and found it to be a very lengthy, arduous, but extremely fullfilling path towards getting in touch with the core reasons about why I personally, felt the ways I did about being raped. Our society sees rape as a lesser crime than it does murder. It makes no sense until you realize the many different ways in which one can be 'raped'. Physical rape is one thing, then there is date rape, and then there is coersion, (which becomes debateable as to whether it is actual 'rape' or not), and then there is psychological rape, which is done with or without physical contact. Many of us experience psychological rape on a daily basis without thinking twice about it. It stems from a lack of personal boundaries, and/or enforcing those boundaries in our lives with all we meet. If we are to live in the world peacefully and content, we all need to learn the value of personal boundaries. 

 

Thank you for writing such an exquisite and intricate piece (for lack of a word that would fit better), and allowing an opportunity for 'rape' to be looked at rationally, as we accomplish nothing through hate....but for poetry's sake...awesome awesome. You put things in clear and concise words, and on subjects that carry as much volume as this one, it can be very cathartic for those trying to work things out within themselves, so that they can be in touch with their true essence of love and forgiveness, and not allow hate to consume them...(it was for me...I remember way back when).

 

I wouldn't change a thing about my past....because if I did, I would not have all I have today, and I am sure I would not be the the person I have grown into. I am not saying that it does not deserve to be corrected in whatever way brings the core of the issue to transform into a better world for us all, but I am saying hating doesn't help it, and I do not believe it to be part of a solution.

 

Blessings. 

 

 

http://m.voices.yahoo.com/psychological-rape-6894002.html 

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Nymph's Song

Years ago I heard a song;

it was a burst of fresh spring water,

thoughtless as thoughts exhausted on a day's end,

somber as delta sleep

with dreams of love like lovers

can never be

in the mind's eye,

because with all its intellect

it's song is little more

than a thousand haunted memories

and a reasonable fear

that what I wished I could keep forever

is dissolving like an exhale into the breeze.

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Death trap

Yeah, we're all gonna die

eventually we are forced to let go

Might as well accept the facts

it's inevitable, a real death trap

Nothing any one can do

Eventually it will come to you

So accept your fate

the death will come

in the meantime, let go

and have some fun

Author's Notes/Comments: 

inspired by Zaphod_Beeblebrox

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Say Hello To You

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktqWwYw1NUE

  (right click and open in new tab)

 

 

 

Your deepest desire is to possess,

And yet you are abundant with love,

However restless the urge, 

It is locked in a cage,

Because of your blindness,

Keeping clipped it's feathered wings,

And wear it's eyes upon your face

Like the tattoos painted on Atayal women,

And feel your way through the darkness

With tentacles extended out through the apex of your heart,

That emerged from the desperation of being forced 

To learn how to thrive off of suffering,

Feelers for intuitive mime and bands of neuronal waste,

Originating through longing,

And surviving off the dreams of the dead.

 

You are the first one of your kind,

You don't have to crawl on hands and knees

In order to be blessed and hallowed,

Just remove the paint, and wear the feathers 

Of the softest ugliness you can find

In the hollow places of yourself,

And they'll grow to be as beautiful 

Or more beautiful as those you grapple and claw 

Lure and conspire, to possess,

That belong to others,

Because you can only ever

Have what you have,

And what you do not have,

You will never have.

 

 

 

12:47 AM 7/5/2013

 

©

 

 

.............

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is a poem about when we think that we need something from someone else, due to being blind about how much we already have. It's a work in progress...like life.

My Turn

Folder: 
D. E. A. F.

Gather round! Don't be shy..

Reach inside the bowl.

Don't think too much, just trust your gut.

And reach for pills we stole.

You never know what you may get,

the ultimate surprise.

Just reach right in and pluck one out,

remember to close your eyes.

We've got Ritalin and Beenies,

If you want heart speed to gain.

We've got Oxy and Vikes,

If you're just tryna ease the pain.

If you just wanna chill and slow down

Xanax and Valium may do the trick.

But I suggest Ecstasy and Skippy,

If you wanna give your heart rate a kick!

Pop a molly if you're scared,

or too stressed to sleep.

But maybe you'll get Lunesta,

and get knocked out without a peep.

There are many others,

I just don't know them by name.

But I guess that's the risk you take,

when you play our game.

Come on now don't chicken out,

I told you go with your gut.

NO! Don't be stupid! Not a handful!

You'll be dead before you fall on your butt.

Yes, that's right just grab two,

Now take a swig of Jack.

You must wait for it to start,

just sit still or lie back.

I know you're scared,

At my first time so was I.

But trust me it will be okay,

you know I wouldn't lie.

See I can tell you're feeling better,

I just know don't ask me how.

Just go have fun and join the others,

because I think it's my turn now.

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Just emptying my head

I wish I was better at explaining how I feel.
Though articulate and eloquent, I find myself at a loss of words around you.
Knowing its easier to be a bitch than to take a chance again.
Someday I might be able to say how much I really love you.
How I've loved you all along.
But what if you don't feel the same?
I don't think I could handle that crush.
I'm already so weak and worn down.
Years of being torn apart.
I don't want to lose the one person who builds me up.
I can't handle losing you.
So I'll just never have you in the first place.

I had a dream last night.
That I went back in time.
I saw you, before we'd ever met.
You didn't know who I was.
And it hurt so bad.
Trying to explain a feeling you'd never shared with me yet.
We were just strangers.
And you were still with her.
Killed me watching you two in love.
Stil together, knowing what you'd go through with her in time.
The words she'd say to you that would stain your heart forever.
And there was nothing I could say to change it.
Cause we never met.

Goodbye Poem

Goodbye Poem

by charliseptember

I still remember that night; your smile caught my eye. 

We spent the night sharing thoughts and staring up at the sky.
I wish I could go back and re-live that night,
And have that one first kiss that still floods my mind. 

Endless days of laughter; free kids, free minds.
Skating down the street ’til the dead of the night.
High and blind; not a worry inside.
Then in the blink of an eye, you said ‘Goodbye’.

I tried all I could to keep you out of my head.
Heavy heart, sleepless nights in an empty bed.
‘Numb-out!’ ‘Who cares!’; I struggled everyday.
Try to forget your face but in my mind you stay.  

Unexpected, there you were, back into my life.
It all still felt the same, just like the very first night.
Holding you so tight, I felt it hard to sleep.
Our last dream together – time isn’t to keep. 

Dead leaves filled the city but the sun still shined.
Skating down the street under the clear autumn sky.
Standing on my porch, we share a sorrowed sigh.
Then in the blink of an eye, I said ‘Goodbye’.

Author's Notes/Comments: