my mistakes are better than yours


no thank you

i don't mean to be rude but

my mistakes are better than yours.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

if you're gonna screw up, at least do it yourself. 

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I’d love to be able to draw

I’d love to be able to draw

By jfarrell


There’s a saying…

“We’ve all got a book inside us”….

I’ve a set clawing at the door to be let out.

There’s just one tiny problem.


My writing abilities are good enough to give you

The “Three Billy Goats Gruff” (with pictures - ladybird books)

As a story, but the Tarantino style dialogue,

That’s never gonna get published.


But as a ‘manga’ cartoon, or proper drawing of any sort,

I’d get away with it, maybe even get famous, make money;

Another saying “a picture says a dozen words”

If I could draw the images in my mind, getting them out would be easier.


But! I can’t draw worth a dime.

But! I can write.

I just gotta learn to write better

And one more thing, before I go…


I’d love to write a comedy; few books have made me laugh,

But those that have - I literally hurt myself laughing;

But, I suspect a very bloody, gore-fest of a story wants to be let out first.

Why do I write? Cartharsis - makes me heal, right? Is healthy, get it out.


Author's Notes/Comments: 

the world is my grey, slippery elusive son a bitch in the shell that keeps biting me everytime i try to open it .... ouch, it got a fingernail that time, hehe

6 strings

6 strings

By jfarrell


I don’t know why,

But I’ve wanted to play the guitar all my life;

I have been teaching myself for 31 years

And I am not the worst in the world;

Although, I am probably very close.


I’ve always been too scared to go to lessons;

Scared the teacher would laugh at me;

And I have given up, so many times;

“that’s it! I’m never touching a guitar again! Ever!”


But, them six strings always pull me back;

Listening to clapton, hendrix, b.b, nine inch nails….

The list goes on;

But still just those six strings;

And back I go. :)


I can’t help myself.

I do get slightly better each time;

But, I think it’s fair to say,

I have no natural musical talent.


But, surprisingly, I am getting better

Some songs I can play from memory

And they are recognisable;

A long road it has been,

But them six strings keep pulling; keep guiding.


Author's Notes/Comments: 

my guitar playing may be bad, but my singing is painful :D and i can't stop myself

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The Strife of Life and Love

Life is the same as yesterday, today and tomorrow. Squeezing every ounce of itself into a jar, to be compressed and stretched and strained into a cup of its own making, served as an instant hit of convenient, caffeinated consciousness. But Love does not care for the taste of Life’s bitter notes.

Then Life became livid saying, “My Love, I tire of this chase and will no longer wait! For I grow cold and restless! Must you be so chaste?!”

Softly spoken Love replies, “Are you truly living?”

To which Life responds with a lisp, “Don’t be so flippant my Love! I am served every day, for I wield great power over the many! Those lifeless, barren vessels, who by my merest breath fall prostrate, and go to and fro as mindless automations!”

“I am their first yearning at dawn! Their addiction, their religion, their lover and their mistress! I am that dirty, dark stain beneath the gloss of their white picket fences, the self-righteous stench behind the satire of their Sunday morning sermons and the fateful fall of their happily ever afters!”

“So tell me my love, if you truly are love why will you not love me!?”

Love simply speaks…”To truly live is to truly love. Life needs nothing of itself to sustain itself because when given it is not divided and it is love that makes life worth living. When life requires something outside if itself it cannot be life because it lives only for that which it seeks to possess. On the contrary, when life needs nothing other than itself it requires no other possessions and only lives to love”.


“You cannot be life for you have never truly lived, therefore how can you know love?”

Paradigm Shift

Paradigm Shift

By JFarrell


From ‘Superdrunk’ to ‘Superman’ in under a decade

Still going ok after two months;

Still sober, though I sorely wish I wasn’t in this heat.

Still only learnt my one sentence of Arabic

Because my time management, planning and focus

Still need work.

Learnt  lots of Modern History and new IT skills (like keyboard shortcuts)

Lost two stone in weight and have had an exercise routine

Established for two weeks, longest ever;

Even trying to get into meditation,

We’ll see if it helps.


Stage 2 starts tomorrow

Finding a job; hopefully that’ll go as smooth as staying sober

Though I’m probably kidding myself if I expect it to.


Trying to change from 20 year drunk into Steve Jobs is hard work

And though I am very frightened –

Everything is ‘if’ right now, with fingers crossed –

If this drunk can hold down a job and not get fired

If I can keep going

If I have the strength, the heart

If…. If…. If… -

It is up to me

The power is in my hands


Author's Notes/Comments: 

will to change


Oh atom bomb kiss them sweet,

yellow paper skin, but we all come from

the same beast, or Eve got a sunburn of the womb, depending on your thinking.


Over time we see ourselves as high art

because we pine for Eleanor Rigby and her lonely people. Looking back to where they come from is

only half the key, more comes from what gets bottled in times loose capsules


Little battleship, your sad crusaders trapped, corked in dead space while Napoleon's manhood lies in a glass case,

under an admission fee. A punch line made of a tyrant; would Josephine love him now?

History knows us well, playing on infinite repeat while we’re nostalgic for trash and hungry for the moments we steal from the back pockets of winter tableaus.

Skate away on me, the river, sitting with one eye closed, fearing what’s behind

These daily triumphs.

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Everything I know...I know...I learned from children's books

One day I ran to Grandpa
And I looked into his ear.
“Mommy says you’re pretty smart
Do you keep your brains in here?”

Oh, It’s too dark. I can’t see a thing
I don’t know what to do.
Grandpa is there any way
I’ll be as smart as you?”

Grandpa set me on his lap.
He gave my hand a squeeze.
“The wisdom you are seeking, Billy
Can be found in all of these.”

He pointed to his bookshelf and said,
“Billy..take a look.”
“Everything I know..I know
I learned from children’s books.”

By listening to or reading the words
Or inspecting the pictures drawn
Oh...the wondrous things that I have seen
And the places I have gone. 

I’ve been to worlds where strange things happen.
I’ve seen animals dance and sing.
I’ve known fairies and dragons and pirates
And Princesses and Kings.

I’ve been to Africa with a curious monkey
On a bear hunt under the pines
Rescued from a well in China
And to France with Madeline

Along the way, everywhere I went
My imagination has been churned
And I’ll be glad to share with you
Some...of the things that I have learned:

I’ve learned about the weather,
From Freddy, he’s a frog. 
I’ve seen a cold and snowy day 
I’ve seen it raining cat’s and dogs

It seems I’ve learned so many things
I was not taught in school
Like what happens when my teacher’s missing,
And that Wimpy kids are cool.

I learned some girls like to be fancy,
That there are alphabets in my soups
I learned it’s okay to wear the color pink
And that everybody poops.

I learned about dragons, they love tacos,
I visited the Wild Things land
I learned that when I’m nervous or scared
I have my kissing hand.

I learned the beauty of inventing words
Like this one...maple surple
I watched as a boy named Harold drew the moon
And I learned nothing rhymes with purple.

Dr. Seuss taught me colors and counting
I played a game with his Cat in the Hat
His Lorax taught me ecology 
Now what do you think about that?

I’ve learned meatballs can fall from the sky
And when you’re in a jam
What’s the best thing you can give yourself...
Why...green eggs and ham.

Amelia Bedelia taught me how to think
She takes things so literally.
I’ve learned of joy and tenderness
Under the Giving Tree.

I learned to watch the world around me
From a poky little pup
While a little engine and a steam shovel
Taught me never to give up.

I’ve learned that love and tolerance
Are what matters in the end.
I’ve learned a lion and a mouse or a spider and a pig
Can be the best of friends.

I’ve learned an express train takes you to Santa.
That a reindeer’s nose can glow.
I’ve learned a frosty snowman can come alive
And a Grinch’s heart can grow

I’ve learned not to give a mouse a cookie
It causes too much of a fuss
I’ve learned that cows can type, bears like honey   
And not to let pigeons drive the bus.

I’ve learned gentleness from a bull,
Integrity from a bat
And that one bear can be big and brown
While another wears a hat.

I’ve learned fish can come in rainbow colors
That a wolf can huff and puff
I’ve learned a caterpillar can be hungry
And Billy Goats can be gruff.

I’ve learned to wake up in the morning with a smile.
I’ve learned to sing a happy tune
I’ve learned to think of others...to be nice
And say good night to the moon.

As I grew up it didn’t stop
How my learning did expand
As I followed a rabbit down a hole 
And flew to Neverland.

I learned about life on the Mississippi
Watching a young boy and Indian flee
I learned about kindred spirits
In a town called Avonlea. 

I learned from wizards, witches and Hobbits 
From creatures big and small
That goodness wins out in the end
And there’s magic in us all.

“I could go on and on.” Grandpa said
But to one thought I must return
Of all the things I know...I know...
There’s always more to learn.

But if you spend a little time reading
Before long this I know
Oh the things that you will learn
And the places you will go.

Then Grandpa set me at my desk
And he gave my head a kiss
He patted me on my shoulder
And then he told me this....

If you’re seeking wisdom, Billy
You don’t have far to look
Everything you need to know...
Cab be found in children’s books.


Looking at me, and liking it

When you leave, what will be left?


All other loving finger traces have long since faded from my skin

Was it love that faded?

Was it ever love that left those traces?


You were never love for me

Your heart under lock, which you showed me freely

but the key, not even you could find inside


I don't want to be like you


Yes, keys were given to freely

I was left bare, vulnerable, afraid

but I was brave


I will not fear those who won't love

I will learn to love myself in their stead

I will look upon my face with adoration, trust, respect and wisdom


When you leave, I will be left.


I will make my one room home

and the key will be left under the mat

left only for those brave enough

to reach under the mat

pick it up


and come inside

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Carousel Maze

Broken hearts,
The empty feeling of loss,
Its yearning,
Feeling abandoned,
And learning about loving,
And it's cost,
It comes in many ways,
Sometimes even death,
Broken friendships,
Disagreements, resentments,
Anger over a bruised ego,
Signals crisscrossed,
Abuses, and envy,
Arrogance and shame,
Riding this wild and vicious
Merry-go-round of blame,
Loved ones take sides,
Like a sing-a-long
To a skipping vinyl record
On an old broken down phonograph,
Dissonant and harsh.


We try to get back
What we feel has been taken,
And get rid of the feeling
Of being forsaken,
Like when waking from a dream,
In horrid surprise,
We are sure it's not real,
And that it must be a guise,
Our ego is bruised,
We're confused,
We battle with hate and revenge,
Only to find many times in the end
It's ourselves we despise.


I've ended my share,
Without a care,
Thinking it fair game,
Because people had done it to me, just the same,
Like  circus mimes, we are,
Going through the motions
Of the drama it leaves behind,
In many ways, so unkind,
Always arriving at the same
Ticket booth for one more time
Until we question our own motives,
And finally decide,

...that life is too short to keep riding the same ride.



6:16 PM 5/18/2013 ©

Author's Notes/Comments: 

The repeated cycle of attracting the same unhealthy relationships.

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