The Birth and Flight of a Phoenix

The storm has settled after a long summer.

The skies are clear, but the damage has been done.

I am charred, left abandoned in the ashes.

The humiliation during the wildfire led to my death.

The world I knew and loved disowned me.


But a baby bird had risen out of the ashes.

Despite its weak body, the newborn helped me onto my feet.

It led me away to start anew in a foreign world.

After all that had happened that led to this fire,

I know now that my old name is nothing but a memory

Left to be scorned by bloodthirsty eels.


Be free, young phoenix. Fly away and keep your voice close.

They'll be coming for you when they discover you're still alive.

It is better to let them think that you are dead

than attempt to kill yourself putting up a fruitless fight.


They can deceive the world all they like, but karma has its ways.

They will always be overshadowed by a much more unified flock.

But for now, I walk alone with no one but the baby bird perched on my shoulder.

I see a bit of my old life in it, but it possesses the need to change;

A quality that the world I left behind is too blind to see.


Be free, young phoenix. Fly away and keep your voice close.

They'll be coming for you when they discover you're still alive.

It is better to let them think that you are dead

than attempt to kill yourself putting up a fruitless fight.


By the time the bloodthirsty eels see me again, it will already be too late.

Their lack of intelligence is what I have to thank for getting me to where

I am needed most the whole time I have slaved away.

Too bad that they'll never know that I am not the poor unfortunate soul that I used to be.


The winter has arrived and the joys of Christmas Day have given the baby bird strength

To regain the fire that I have long-admired since I was no less than eight years of age.

The new year is around the corner and it is more than ready to spread its wings and fly

Like it did four years ago. It amazes me to see how kids grow up so fast.


Be free, young phoenix. Fly away and keep your voice close.

They'll be coming for you when they discover you're still alive.

It is better to let them think that you are dead

than attempt to kill yourself putting up a fruitless fight.


It is no longer our battle anyway for our destiny lies far away from this mom-and-pop.

Your Self-Esteem is Not My Responsibility

DaddyO's BDSM

by DaddyO


I am Dominant. I like control. But I cannot control you. In a scene I strive to dominate you masterfully. But regardless of how submissive you are, in everyday life or in BDSM play, you still ultimately control you.


I don't Top to heal you (in fact, oftentimes I Top to hurt you). I Top to bring healing excitement to me. If you need healing, that is your responsibility.

I don't Top to renew you, I Top to bring a sense of accomplishment and renewal to myself. If you need renewal, that is your responsibility.


I don't Top to change you, I Top to improve my skills and grow in my expertise and learn new ways of thinking and acting. If you want to change, find it in yourself to change.


I don't Top to bring you out of your depression, I Top to have fun and by having fun I personally avoid depression.


In truth, I don't control or "dominate" anyone but myself. If you choose to submit to what I want, all the better. It can be very enjoyable for both of us!

I used to think I could be the wellspring of a woman's renewed self-esteem. So enamored with this ideal, it almost became a fetish. It was a thrill to believe I could be the catalyst for a woman's joy, healing, renewal and ultimate change.


But really, I can't change anyone else... but myself.


It took a lot of painful trial and error for both me and my partners for me to realize that a broken person doesn't need me to fix her, she needs simply a comfortable environment for her own healing and renewal to happen.


Maybe I can provide that environment for someone. Maybe not. I am a pretty complex and amazing person. But I no longer aspire to compromise myself to become anyone's environment.


You are not a seed. You are already a plant. You may be a sapling (afterall I am a Daddy Dom so you might identify as a babygirl) but you are well on your way to being who you are. If you cannot grow in the fertile soil I have laid down already, no amount of fertilizer or watering by me is going to change you.


If I ask you to play, I want you to say "no" if you are motivated by having expectations of me to change you. Sorry, I am too busy changing myself!

Sure I will "train" you to do what I like (if you desire doing things I like). Sure I will support and encourage you. I will also teach you and care for you. But ya know what, I will be more likely to change your diaper in an ageplay scene than change you. That's your job.


It is called self-esteem for a very good reason: you can only get it by yourself

Author's Notes/Comments: 


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As I Bleed

I see the scars as I peel away the rags

Battered and bruised, I feel my shame.


I see the beings I hold most dear,

As they rip and scream and laugh.


I see them now,

Twenty years since my birth,


I see their hidden hate,

I hear their private jokes.


I recall their smiles,

Their words of no regret


I feel the knife as it cuts away,

Deeper and deeper it goes,

Taking a part of me with every strike


I try to hide,

But I cannot


I try to be strong,

But I cannot


So I turn away from my reflection,

As I hear the words of those I hold dear.


They scratch and they claw,

And they pull and they throw


So I close my eyes as I attempt to take my nights rest,

And see the scars as I rip away the rags,


But they drag me down,

Deeper and deeper I go,

As I hear the words of those I hold dear.


I try to be strong,

But I cannot


So I await the sun as it shows a new day,

And throw on the rags to hide my scars,

As I walk again to meet with,

Those I hold dear.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I have come to realise that your self-esteem is usually based on the people closest to you. I wrote this knowing what it's like to be put down and made to feel inferior.

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'Twas The Night Before Awareness








'Twas the night before awareness,

When all through the world,

The people were waiting,

For a magic wonderland to unfurl,

A sense of entitlement,

Covered the land,

Like a snow in the silence,

All possessions in hand.


Flowers are mulicolored,

Some vegetables have a strange hue,

The skies are polluted,

And the waterways are too,

Our lying little mouths 

Speak only of money,

And love is just something

When using words like "honey".


Teaching kids to expect,

That life will be easy,

They find out it's not,

And start living it cheaply,

Whine and complain

About their ways and behavior,

Giving them pills 

That don't work in their favor.


Sense of entitlement 

With morals askew,

This is me...

And yes, this is you,

Neglecting the things 

That are felt with the heart,

Buried in shame 

Real love hasn't a start.


Pain is a signal 

We learned to numb up,

Imbalances rampant,

We've all now cracked up,

Sensitivity is beautiful,

But pain has real purpose,

And it doesn't exist

Just to feel sorry for us.


But roses are so red,

And violets so blue,

In this world we create,

When we have eyes like a shrew,

We're the little old drivers,

Unable to see,

We're at a party with Alice,

And we ain't sippin' tea.


Addicted to poison,

We bid a good-night,

In hopes that Saint Nick

Will make everything right,

Our wondering eyes 

Have created a fear,

We can't possibly face

In a world we can't steer.


Pill after pill 

Dream after dream,

This is the way

That we kill self-esteem,

Removing the blinders

A wise thing that is taught

To do otherwise,

Is how we bury a thought.


Stress can be lethal,

And imbalance will thrive,

There are pills that can actually

Keep you alive,

But that doesn't mean

To ourselves we should lie,

And that pain, pain,

Will go away,

No pain, is something

That is here to stay.


4:33 PM 7/20/2013 ©


Inspired by Allets



Author's Notes/Comments: 


Just a little about how pain is always there, and what we focus on, is what we will get back. 



For you I never felt good enough; even now I still try to measure up

I am continuously motivated by this twisted need to cultivate everything I loved about you within me
by escaping the flaws I can’t accept and the doubts instilled by your disinterest
and making myself an object of my own love

(This is the love I know — desperate and shallow.)

But the only thing from this I’ve gained
is the sensation of a ball and chain
Self-acceptance is my hill to climb
My heart will be free of you in time

For now I’m caught here in this back and forth
Of feeling lost and feeling worth
At least I know I’m fighting it.

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(Insecurity & Introversion)

I am intricate but small
Weak in all my detail
In the big leagues I am bound to fail
Because I wear my heart on my sleeve
That way nobody believes in me
(Myself included)

I know I’m not cut out for it
to sacrifice my happiness
My fragile mind will break to pieces
If I were to commit
And reach the goals I have created –
Well, they’re only trophies to polish

And this comparison surely will be the death of me
Forever contorting my endeavors into a unit of measure
All my ownership stripped away
In a game I’ll never win but continue to play
It’s empty motivation
But it’s the only kind I can seem to find.

(And I know it’s going to eat me alive.)

Rather to embrace my own essence
A solitary preference
Even though the world praises breadth
My own journey pursuing depth

A goal of moving away from the extreme of spectrum
A balance between self-expression and introspection

Lastly a re-connection with that omnipotent deity
Then maybe I can find the better life promised to me

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