From the coals of sacred texts, brought fouth from ancient whispers of a circle of unbroken time, dipping and acendinding its change state, as the one constant in unending continuity. Therein lies a simple truth, corrupted with gentle persuasion.
The state of being, the being of state and status of beings.
There are three main laws for us to purview and avail here and now, or in past and future possibility. There is one rule that seperates, yet, reconsiles and is master of all truth; ugly or beautiful it renders life in death, death into life and life into death.
to live evil live to - live.d.evil
to Evo L ovE to
The cycle that never alters its identity making Its mood known in all forms and states; the All as in the We collective; and as the I; AGAPI, the known mystery of presiding over both and the first of the third.
Go.d and evil.
Live with the hidden truth in plain sight. Felt with intense realness, hidden in semantics of languages long lost and forgotten, but none is needed to unless seeking to corrupt the incorruptible what is known and fails in explanation.
For this very reason, the logic of AGAPI (love) in all its moods, colours, ugliness and beauty fail to be described. And still, the poets' pride tries in vain to capture the whole. Ever so often though, glimpses resonate and we can see a temporal portal with the promise of the indescribable known.
Blessingss
Who I am
As you can see I am only me it's who I am and all I'll be
And specials the one thing the world will never see
It makes my family and friends sad when myself I'll slam
But I'll never lie about what I do it's just me and who I am
I have to be perfect for them to see beyond the cover and take a look
And see that there's more to me then the cover of that ugly book
Ive come to realize I'll never have the life I deserve cuz I'm just an ugly lamb
They never look beyond that cover and don't ever see just who I am
My pages are thick and not real thin so no one will turn that first page
They ignore my feelings and never see the walls I've built just like a cage
to protect me from the hurt i feel and the tears I've shed I've built a dam
But forever will i know the truth about me and will always know it's who I am
zoeycup
October.5.2000
Trisha Barrek Hopkins
I wish you would just disappear
From my life
And never come back never reappear
I dont care how you go
Use a pill or even a knife
Give me my freedom
Let me learn wrong from right
Give me a chance
To make my own mistakes
I really don't want to fight
Be real stop being fake
How dare you kick me out
With just a shirt and pants
With all your yelling
There's no need to shout
I hate your attitude
I hate the way you treat me
I hate when you change your mood
Why can't you see
Your always rude
Just let me free
You look stupid the way you stand
All tough and Mr. big shot
You think your the boss the man
But your ugly
Your head steamin your attitude hot
Let me do what I want to do
To go where I want to go
To get away from you
To see people you don't know
Do me a favor
Just disappear
I don't care go away
With a stupid razor
It's your face I don't want to see
And your voice I never again want to hear
Just let me free
Don't give me that stupid stare
Let me be me
You made my life rough
The world let me explore
Why can't you see
I had enough
I don't want your attitude anymore
Copyright
...............
(image from fiestapinata.com)
.........
Hung low
upon the strongest branch
of your oak tree,
I allowed my own slaughter,
our blindfolded children
you and that other woman
so kindly raised to master
use of your verbal machetes,
you spun them
'round and 'round with twisted truths,
cunningly directed them for many years,
by your pathetic, hopeless fears,
with skillful cowardice,
weilding their innocence
to carve the gashes just so,
slicing me open,
like a party pinata
at a reunion,
you.
and your sick family,
you always used to say
how much you hated being
outnumbered by women
growing up,
i hang lifeless now
in their eyes,
from the butchering,
the tree branches curved,
and the leaves withered,
and as my blood drips down
to feed your roots,
the only scintilla
of honesty you seem to
be able to muster from all those years,
--that you have not changed at all,
and for myself,
my once empty hand is full of
what is left,
--only compassion for you,
feeling what it must be like
to be you,
and who i was
long ago.
2:34 AM 8/13/2013 ©
................
the mind gets filled with decaying debris,
months and years of empty words,
like a cluttered closet never cleaned
cobwebs begin to form and spaces fill
dying matter clog the once well lit corridors
with unresolved differences
silent inner wars, like tremors
below the fault line rise,
passions left ignored collide
between an empty page and an empty life
lies her heart that yearns to speak,
but utters only anguished cries
bitter reminders of more rotted cavities
inside the tightly packed memories
boldly labeled 'forbidden'
she lashes out,
and for another moment,
what she has resisted for years is hidden
9:08 PM 7/3/2013
©
...........
the eyes are so beautiful...
people abuse their lips too often..
ugly words.. distraught faces.
passing through dark voids..
black spaces..
footprints in cement..
writing in sand..
mistakes made, but by the time I realize..
it always seems just too late.
maybe we don't deserve a second chance..
sometimes I feel like that's all I need.
guess i'll have to deal.
in my mind, i've kneeled to you & cried.
in this heart, my yearning towards you will not subside so easily.
my soul is screaming..
there's a spirit looking down..
such disappointment,
destroying me.
false reality you try & pull her into..
worn limbs, shattered smiles, heavy eyes.
the pain is swelling..
so fake, you keep on, like a robot, with no cause...
fuck these man-made laws.
I don't need your restriction to enjoy myself.
these rules crash down, fallen stones on the ground..
I will blow away with the leaves, for I am not stablized as the trees.
some night, near or distant, I will fly up & greet the moon..
when I get there, i'll ask, "is it still too soon...?"
Please
Don't look at me.
I want to run away
And escape from this miserable world.
I'm angry again.
I blame this broken and tattered mirror
For making me seem ugly
Even on the inside.
I don't want your sympathy
I don't need your kindness.
You're suffocating me
So Please
Stop.
I want to scream
And shout.
What do I have to do
For you to leave me be?
You tell me
That you'll be by my side.
No matter what happens.
But I know
That the moment I show you my true self
You'll run away
Just like the others.
You tell me I'm beautiful
STOP LYING!
I cry and cry
But you never listen.
You come closer to me
Every time
I scream not to.
I'm dying
On the inside.
I'm falling apart.
And you being here
Watching this
As it happens
Makes it worse.
I know
That in this world
There's no such thing
As warmth
That there's no one
Who'll be there for you
When you need them the most.
So why should I trust you?
Why should I let you catch my fall?
Please
Just stop.
And go away.
Lovesick to death, black to death
Addicted to pain slowly killing me inside
I walk in this world alone talking to myself
On my lonesome I’m king of nothing but my failure
Depression I can’t seem to shack this pain
The world loves thing of beauty and intrigue
These two things I’ve never have known
Beauty, confidence, always passes me by
Couples and love I see as I walk all alone
I’ve lived with this damage to long
I cannot be molded a cannot control this
This feeling that’s always been in my heart
I’ve never done no wrong I don’t deserve these laws
If there’s any sins please god separate them from me heart
Take away that’s ugly in me
I walk alone in this coupled world
Maybe I don’t want to be found
Just let me die alone in peace
I’d rather die alone then live a pathetic lonely life
Why can’t they look at me and see what I see
Why can’t they feel like I feel
I never see them hurt
Why they can’t hurt like I hurt
Why must I die for you like your ugly to
by.nobonumb