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My life used to be

one giant hulking mess.

and me a weak sodden soul,

padded with distress.

I tried to fight against it

but it kept dragging me down.

Smothering me in regrets

and causing me to drown.

I often sleep for hours

with no desire to wake.

And let the depression take me down

though I know it is a mistake.

SO I begin to look for vices

to let my frustrations out.

Not thinking that I need anyone

to talk to this about.

So instead I grabbed some liqour

enough to put me to sleep

Or drink a drop of cold medicine.

to knock me off my feet.

And sometimes I'd get this feeling

of immense pain in my head.

And take two advils,

then to the world I was dead.

I'd let my demons drag me down,

and tell me it was okay.

That no one cared and I was worthless

and I'd believe what they'd say.

So I'd drink more of stolen liqour

and do what I knew was wrong.

But the allure of my demons was enticing

for they sung a hypnotic song.

So I kept letting them drag me down

and I never expected to get back up.

Just kept giving them my tears

to fill their never ending cup.

I sometimes chose to fight against them

thinking I don't want to let them in.

And then life takes a downwards turn

and I give in to them again.

And though this may be a time, when

 their power over me, is slowly but surely thinning.

Sometimes I can't help but feel,

my inner demons are winning.

the man lived his life, in the end, became a sad story..

wishing for her...

his morning glory.

loneliness was his plague..

walking along the concrete, his shadow amplified his defeat.. 

a pill for each sorrow.. 

doesn't care to wake for anything tomorrow..

will he ever be able to see her smile again..?

the guitar was his outlet..

& precious was his long hair, a golden crown..

like an angel to all around..

but the demons took his hand...

promised a better land, as they dragged him down...

robbed him of all his color... 

he gripped tightly to what was left..

but grace slipped through his finger tips...

pages, chapters, paper & writing..

short lived escape route.. 

books were some of his closest friends..

little did he know, how I worried about him..

wish I could of done better..

though I was just a child, it all feels the same to me..

like I watched his growing disease of depression make progression...

the darkness overwhelmed him, & choked him in his sleep...

I knew it was the day..

& after that, I myself haven't longed to awake in the morning...

every night I doze off, tossing & turning..

I feel like i'll wake up to someone dead..

In the library of Alexandria

Yidhra was writing and reading;

Copying the ancient scrolls,

Of Eibon, Mhu Thulan and voodoo dolls.

The Elders banished her to 'other realm,

Behind the mirror the demons did overwhelm.

But I took her out of the mirror,

Her life here is much dearer.

In the mirror-realm I placed myself,

The demons will remember oneself.

Protecting of my soul,

The darkness of a ghoul.

Yidhra lives my life now,

I live Hers, it is not allowed.

Eagerly I wait for the Old Ones,

'cause that is what Yidhra does.

As Upper Witch of Them,

She is the ultimate gem!

Every tear a snapshot

Every wound a memory

Scars I can’t remove

Remind of what you did to me

Visions glare in front of me

But I can’t feel a thing

That life both past is present

All lost because a ring

I'm trying to make things better,
but they only get worse.
Trying to stuff the pain away
To try and hide the hurt.
But this world is grinding at my sand paper sanity
until it's absolutely nothing.
And these demons have me on my knees begging for mercy.

Well, at least it’s something

I can’t go on like this

I’ve got to get away

Fallen angels dragging me down

To die again today

My heart has lost it’s city lights

It’s eroded into the slum

And I’ll never feel a thing again

I only can feel numb

Lost, abandoned, forsaken, left

Deserted, discarded, neglected, bereft

Cast off again, I can’t even start

Another child aborted, but this was my heart

All that’s left is apathy

Nothing left inside of me

Never will we be one

And so I’m left again, numb 

The escape is inside you, you have to dig deep.
Be careful when you dig deep, you may find your own defeat.
When you look into your soul you need to learn to let go.
Life is a story to be told and it has many different roads.
Mistakes will be made and sins committed, it may all lead to your dreams being forfeited.
Remember no matter how dark the night gets the sun has not come up yet.
If you want to survive you must fight to stay alive.
The demons are there you just have to be aware.
If you are stuck in a cage and full of rage you’ll never find the escape.
You must open your soul and just let all your pain go.

Savoir Save Me!
Please don’t let me fall
Any more
Broken, dying on the floor
Desperate
I need you God!
Falling
Keep me from killing myself!
Failing
It’s all my fault
Hopeless
Six years of death every day
Dying
My conscience is seared
Lying
Just to white wash my tomb
Apathy
I forget how to feel
Loneliness
Are you still here?
This is all my fault
I’m the only one to blame
How do I get back in your arms again?
How can I be strength to another
When I am so weak?
How can I hold someone up
When I’m sliding
NO MORE!
HELP ME GOD
THIS WASN’T WHAT YOU WANTED
I’M MADE FOR SO MUCH MORE
HELP ME
Please…
Help me…..

Hidden from the naked eye
Creatures of darkness pass us by
We are isolated within these walls built with light
The beasts struggle to tear it down and fight
They will rip you apart and bite the flesh from your bone
They will prey on you when you are all alone
Give into them and they shall make you one of their own
Give into them and let this obscurity be your new home
They are the demons that you can not defeat
For they are the Obsolete

The madness of man will increase 100 fold;
into the chaotic and savage void, the souls of this realm will be devoured,
leaving behind, a mindless animal to tear itself apart,
as the shadow of the darkness beyond darkness will cover the face of the earth.
The window of time and space, opened by those who worship the child from beyond the stars,
will come on the dawn of the age of transference.