gone

Just A Dream

Folder: 
Light and Dark

Swirling phantasms all around me
Death and life both in accord
Time is years in seconds counting
And yet no time I can afford

A flash, a face
A twinge of feeling
Just a second
Sends my heart reeling
The old scars
I thought were healing
Suddenly open
And start bleeding

I can’t take it
My heart breaks
All I want is your embrace
Please come back
Don’t leave me here
Don’t leave me to the void I fear

Time is fading, eternity ending
Daylight’s footfalls at the door
Reaching out so you can save me
Just a dream, nothing more.

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Closure

Folder: 
Rookie Poet

Wasted life, wasted space
My memory of you has been replaced
Lies spun, tales told
And I believed them, I was sold.
How could you do that,
when I was faithful to you
And gave all that I had
To you I was true
Tear my fucking heart out
Rip it to the seams
All the while I’m unaware
Of your shameful wicked schemes
No longer my hero
No longer my friend
I blame myself; my naïve self,
For this heart I cannot mend.
Trust issues elevate,
Confidence shaken to the core
Questions unanswered, was it me?
Finally, ‘I can’t do this anymore’.
Erase the bittersweet ‘happy times’,
Rewind these six painful years,
Start afresh with a smile on your face
& straight to the pub for some beers

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Found out he was cheating the bastard, going on holidays with her while he was with me and sneaking out. So I sent him a nasty go f yourself message which made me feel better and now I'm out for good!

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Freedom

Folder: 
Love

Flying free
Away from here
My love branded me
Now nothing to fear
Nothing to lose
Everything's gone
All I have left
Is a new song

Now I'm free to fly
Away from here
No hold over me
Not one tear
My body is burned
By death of passion
Now all alone
Demise my ration
My ashes will fly
On the wings of the breeze
And you'll remember my love
In the whispers of the trees
For though I am free
I'm not leaving, hear?
And the remembrance of me
Will haunt you my dear

This freedom...; is it free?
Or is it just my apathy
Chilling the coals that once burned
Before your ice did make them turn
Now ashes are all thats left of my love
Look down on me good God above!
See the pain that's slit open my veins
See all the tears that are hidden in rains
See how my dreams were dashed on what's real
See how loving of death I now feel
And all the while I can see her grinning
This I know: Death is just the beginning
So again I ask, Is freedom free
Or is it just a wish for me?

Who knew I could make ashes from cinders?
Who knew that Snow could be made of heat?
Who knew that always doesn't mean forever?
Who knew that my loss could make me complete?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is a remake of "Free" for ashes_twisted, and is open to change. Enjoy

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Forsaking

Folder: 
Songs

Been gone too long
Can’t let you in
Won’t let you see all the darkness within
Live in my dreams
So close to me
But now I see how things have to be

 

Deep in my head
My spirit’s dead
I just can’t live past my apathy
My fire’s out
Clouded with doubt
Now I see how things will have to be

Forsaken

Here’s a new life I’m making
So tired of bleeding and crying
Soon you’ll be there dying not me
Now I am driven
I’m finally living
Please take my soul
Lord, please take control of me

Forsaking
Forsaking

 

The light once mine
So long has been dying
Under the demon I once called Myself
It’s time to stand
Come take my hand
Won’t have to leave this for someone else

Forsaken

Here’s a new life I’m making
So tired of bleeding and crying
Soon you’ll be there dying not me
Now I am driven
I’m finally living
Please take my soul
Lord, please take control of me

 

I choose life
I choose love
I choose God
Above all else

Forsaken

Here’s a new life I’m making
So tired of bleeding and crying
Soon you’ll be there dying not me
Now I am driven
I’m finally living
Please take my soul
Lord, please take control of me

Forsaking
Forsaking

Free

Folder: 
Love

Flying free
Away from here
My love burned me
Now nothing to fear
Nothing to lose
Everything's gone
All I have left
Are the words of a song

Free to fly
Away from here
Nothing to hold me
Not one tear
My ashes will fly
On the wings of the breeze
And you'll hear my love
In the whispers of the trees

Who knew I could make ashes from cinders?
Who knew that Snow could be made of heat?
Who knew that love doesn't last forever?
Who knew that loss could make me complete?

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My Letter To You

Folder: 
My Love

I feel your pain over here
Sometimes you said you wish I didn’t
But I didn’t stop
I don’t mind standing in your rain
Just by my being there
You start to feel better
You start to feel normal again
I’m glad that I can do that
Because

I can be your light,
Even in your darkness
I can be your fire,
Even when you feel so cold
I can be your life
Even when you feel like dying
I can be your happiness
Even when it’s gone

Don’t worry about me
I know you care
I know you wanted to stop the pain
You did
You don’t know it
But I wouldn’t be here without you
I might not be alive,
You stopped my cutting before it happened
And I love you
Because

You are my light,
Even in my darkness
You are my fire,
Even when I feel so cold
You are my life
Even when I feel like dying
You are my happiness
Even when it’s gone

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Gone

The time is approaching,
Things will change,
Ill be gone for a while wishing the world stays the same.
Death in one hand,
Hope in the other,
Doing my best fighting with my brothers.
Staying in rhythm with my surroundings,
Never forgetting this is only temporary.
Thinking of a time when I was with you,
Happy and forgetting misfortunes chaotic tune.
Wiping away the smudges of sorrow,
Maintaining serenity although others will die tomorrow.
The cruel reality to which I'm involved,
Holding onto your memory,
Helping to forget the insanity,
More precious then gold.
Try to remember the good things I'd say whenever your down,
Because even though I'm gone I refuse to let you frown.
Whatever happens,
Don't listen to what they say,
I love you,
And that will forever remain unchanged.

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Fractural Pieces

Folder: 
Fractural Pieces

1.
I know it sounds so cliché
But you never took the time to look my way
And now I’m gone, it’s the end of the day
And the only thing left is this song to play.

2.
“I love you”
When said by a fool
That’s what you hear out the classroom at school
There’s no Psyche, Aphrodite
Love doesn’t end well
If love’s just a look, then you’ve tasted hell.

3.
Real love is patient, love is kind
It fills the heart and eases the mind
Love is trust, love is time
And that is why I wrote this rhyme.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

These are just some pieces that I found in my note book, that I never really used except as free standing verse. Yes they sound similar, and have a beat like rap, but they were written at different times in different places, so I grouped them together.

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The Fisherman and Her Bones

Last night
I wished you were a mermaid.
I wished my arms were oceans
you would swim in.

I would spend my days
on boats named after you,
throwing hooks shaped after you in the water
while the sun
hangs over head
yawning like a weary traveler,
prayinghopingwishing you would bite
so I could take you home with me.

At night
I'll watch the sky spark,
electric,
struggling to keep up with you
while I fight off the fishermen
that want you for themselves.

I'll scatter parts of me
across anything resembling water
so you can find me wherever you go
and wherever you go
I hope your heart beats loud enough
for me to hear
across continents.

I'll fill a tub with the sea
and things to make you feel at home
even though
they won't be good enough.

When I say your name out loud
I'll wish that I could breathe under water
because I know that someday
when our bones no longer
fit into each other

I'll have to throw you back.

© 2011 Patrick Szajner

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