The Night

The darkness arrives
And yet something wakes.
The sun goes to sleep
Covered in the blankets
Of the horizon.
The moon wakes up 
To take the sun's place.
Where the sun once watched over,
Now the moon does the same.


The creatures below sleep 
Both in comfort and discomfort.
The creatures move about 
In the shadows
Untouched by the moon's light.
Quietly they sleep.
Stealthily they crawl.
The night is quiet,
With silence the night wears on. 

The Golden Dawn


Trapped inside the darkness

the shadows we find

the pain and sorrow

the loneliness

the light we leave behind

falling fast down the rabbit hole

the world’s fading light

leaving only nightmares

and cold

and the bitter bitter night

we pray for saving grace

to make the darkness die

hoping for the light of the sun

the warmth

down in the grave where we lie

but there is no salvation

no redemption from this hell

no hand of God to lift us out

no Christ

to find us where we once fell.

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2 knives, in each side..
2 eyes burning through my heart..
empty fragments, words drifting in & out of the past
memories turn to ash as we sift them around the palms of our hands..
crippled & gone.. time to move on.
to solidify my dreams..
hate myself.. waste of space, waste of air..
I dove into hell.
God please pull me back together, stitch up these ripped seams..


you're like the blade dragged across my stomach
or the scorching flame against my bare skin...
I want you out of my life
I want you up from under this skin
demons, demons, I can't let you win..
for I am not your kin...


everthing I want, I cannot have.
all that I reach for, I cannot grab..
the rainest of days bring me back to visions i've attempted to smudge out with you..
I guess it was easier on the other end.
but who's to say where & when...


covered in blood, pushed into the mud, I will stand up again.
open scars, out of breath, I must remain relentless.
shadows chasing me, run run, but they consumed all the light..
crouched in fright, nails dug into my back
they're trying to pin down these wings...
hoping i'll never take flight.
using all my energy to break away, fight them off with all my might, all my will...
but they keep whispering "kill... kill.."


legion, you've defiled me,
for you are the fallen, in unity.
this cross lays heavy on my back..
I think i'm starting to crack.
my barriers are thin & I wish I could let God in
but there's just one set of footprints in the sand
no savior to hold my hand
freezing cold.
the ocean looks like a black hole..
if I were to set sail, how could I ever return?
i'd be spun around in circles, triangles, squares
what would I learn?


even though the sun still shines
even though some of the grass is still green
even though there are plenty of trees
I cant stop looking down.. down on me.
the hail is sharp from this dark cloud.
storm hovers above.
I try to clear it out, but I can't with no love


depleted but not empty
awakened in the midst of deep sleep
dead in this life
strife impailed
left hung, waiting to burn..
I never dug my own grave
I only ever cried to be saved.

The river

am I nothing but broken bones? is this beating heart nothing but a burden to myself & everyone I meet..?
as I walk through this valley alone..

the shadows become something i've well known.
your eyes, they magnetize.. the fear in my soul is screaming out "lies!"
where should I try to hide..?

the clouds hang above, as the river i'm crossing over continues to flow..
if I were to fall, would anyone ever know? slipping away from it all, even myself..
glancing at these hands, I wonder what would be different if I was somebody else..


this forest goes farther than the birds & the trees..
this grass grows taller than below our knees..
my fate is an open wound.. bleeding.. bruised.. cut & used..
where am I going..? what am I to do..?
too many questions within me.. are we all our own worst enemy..?
on the top of this hill, the sunrise & fall reminds me of Gods undying love..
every memory that follows behind is purpose-less..
how could you think you know me better than I know myself?
every word you spew is worthless..


dreams are like looking through stained glass..

all different shapes, colors, hues..
why would you want to watch them shatter.. how could it not matter!?
one thing to remember.. don't give your love away, for the sake of saving someone else...


path after path, turn upon turn.. we struggle, maybe learn..
I stare into space & wait.. for something, i'll never know exactly what...
ashes have become of these fantasies..
careful not to let the blood of the past stain what is of my today..
dancing around the casualties.. murder my misery.


shed a tear for everything that used to be & let it all blow far over me.
if only we could all perfectly mend these wounds..
fragilties of life, scars of death..
the last time you close your eyes... that very last breath..


black night sky with stars so electric..
fragrant & soothing, my boat keeps moving..
row, row, drift away..
feet in the dirt but i'm being pulled astray..
the current so strong & winds full force.
the ocean is taking it's course..


beneath the misty swamp, stirs disarray..
where Satan's children go to play..
one by one, two by two.. sinking to the bottom.
he's a theif, can't you tell..?
reeking of that evil smell..
naive indeed as you let him feed..
you act as if life has turned you to this bad seed..
fool, you did it to yourself...
why blame someone else?


& finally I jump in the river to drown..
reaching out for my savior, not because i'm in danger..
I need to be taken from this earth.. I smile because i'm hurt...
when my feet hit the river floor, i'll close my eyes, & open the doors..
a light shone through, my hope for God was true...
I embrace... soon free... this body was never me.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

7.26-7.27- 2013.


cardboard memories shadows dweling in the sun..
let me touch you to know what it is to be alive..
let me feel you deep inside and surrender to you to feel that life flowing pure into your embrace..
i look to see if i live and my eyes stutter across your beautiful skin and therein lies my answer..

Mocking Shadows:


Mocking Shadows:

Shadows drift outside, mocking what I’ve become,
destroyed by circumstance, trampled by happenstance,
a shadow of what I could be, alone, hurt, memories haunting,
I sit here at my window sill watching the would past me by.

Stronger, that’s what they say that I am,
An overcomer is what I’m supposed to be,
but every night I close my eyes and all I see,
is the dark part of me, the child cowering in the corner.

Vultures circling waiting for death, to feast on rotting flesh,
eyes blurring, teetering on that edge,  watch them descend,
left here to die, the monster escaped, wondering the point,
not strong enough to pick up and move on, eyes slowly drift shut.

My pain is haunting me, lost on the drifts of anguish,
heartache seeps in crawling deep, the winds of terror,
burst forth sweeping me under, horror trapping me in a corner,
bitter and biting the frosted winds of misery cut, biting slices.

The shadows outside my window mock, for they are more than I,
nothing but a shade of what I could be, yet unable to break free,
lost on the this turbulent sea, emptiness capturing my heart,
struggling to just be, yet haunted by the pain in me.

I sit here a determine to be more, better than what I am,
yet for each step forward I take, life sets me three paces back,
slowly chipping away at the determined me, haunting me with the pain,
wanting to give up, yet still each day I awake and arise, hoping for more inside.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem is about becoming more

Shadows of You

Shadows of You

A shadow is an area where direct light from a light source

cannot reach due to obstruction by an object.(Which is me)

It occupies all of the space behind an opaque object with light in front

of it. (Which is you) The cross section of a shadow is a

two-dimensional silhouette, or reverse projection of the object blocking the


and I see you as my shadow...

I see you even when your not looking.

I feel you even before you call

with every thought without a pause

I fell you within my walls, my heart, my blood , my veins

it's like an reflection in the mirror

when i look at myself I see you

not just an ordinary view

but a cascade of love that tends to brew, it brew's

intimacy to an point of no return

your shadow of passion is immortal to me never ending

always on side of me...moving through centuries

right before God decided to create me. The essence of

your shadow was with me, right out of my mothers womb.

some may laugh but they just don't understand.

your divine and my shadow will be within you until the end of time.


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Shadows of the Past


Part of me died.
The love that existed within my spiritual heart
has particles of disappointments that renders me numb for I feel not anymore
but tear the moments that kept my other parts alive.
I fear the last breath I take would be filled with such pain.
For I am blind because life that I knew is covered by such darkness.
I hear sounds through the dark.
Whispers of opportunities. Shadows of the past.
Yet I'm scared of what might unfold.
I only wish I had a true home.
I roam this earth for years and yet to find that light.
Every night I pray for another day of chance.
Something different.
Something more.
Before I lay to rest.

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Love loves the dark
For only then it is alone with it’s beloved
It’s enchanting melody
Sweetly playing on the breeze
A nocturne of lovers
The music of midnight
When shadows hold no more fear
Where there is no time but right now
No time at all
When lovers can run away
Away from the world
And revolve around each other
Like the moon dances around the earth
So they dance also
The stars shine above for them
For the night belongs to lovers

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