I am not the skeletons.
Does that scare you?
Some would say time will make me torn
but I do not speak in wants
I speak in now.
I own a life half-lived even if I don’t want it in my house anymore
I tried to sell it
turns out it doesn’t look like what the wanderers wanted.
They spoke of things they will never see,
sea glass and silence to keep in boxes and matches that snap like those bones but
I am not the skeletons.
Even though part of me is still
stuck in the closet
I swallow my skin every day I face it
but sometimes shut it out,
I make me much more savage than the jagged points
of a girl who is less than human.
Just because I didn’t want this
doesn’t mean I shouldn’t step high
because if I didn’t have language
if I was born to be an artist
I would still paint these bodies to life
and they would be covered in what the skeletons want.
I am much more skin than I want to be
and not brave enough to trust
that my bones will catch me if the bridge decides I am done.
Even though part of me is still
stuck in the closet
I am not the skeletons.
I can drink without becoming a waterfall
I do not want to be that kind of messy
but this.
These sharp-witted statues march in a row.
The alleys I split my soul to run in so I can be everywhere at once.
The pens I keep thinking I have run out of until another ends up on my doorstep.
These conquests my heart still holds though I couldn’t save them.
The risks I will take because I am exactly what they want to be.
Maybe I am made of the same.
I am still not the skeletons.
Sleepy heart
Curled around thyself
Boiled in tears
Steeped in long wept tears.
Sleepy heart
Make thyself not a fool
Blinded by fire
Burning but not burnt through
Sleepy heart
Awake
Awake and see
Awake from long slept night
Awake and breathe
Awake and drink the light
stare at the flower realize you are the stamen
open up your pedals and let the rainfall in
strengthen your stem and bloom to the sky as the sun sends silent waves of life to every pore cleansing your cells and rejuvinating your natural beauty
feel as if youre the only in existence.
capture the essence of being alive.
I'm still alive
Breathing
Silently crying at night
I'm still alive
Smiling
Slowly breaking apart
I'm still alive
Fighting
Dark demons inside
I'm still alive
Not broken
Falling but rising up high.
Once upon a day I lived, but now only memories and air
Question to exist, and left upon a forgotten chair
I fall victim; the very hostage to a fate that isn't fair
Into the graveyard of memories, where beautiful things fade and die
and behind the dying oak tree, somewhere is you and I
Beside us inscribed on the tomb is where our promises lie.
Eternal here, is the flowers born from the days
Where I thought it was forever and wasn't just a phase
Years long gone, but your spirit forever stays
Under the moon lays the possibilities of love
But in a tree, lies a poor and injured dove
Blind to see the world, and the beautiful stars above
Women.
We're people,
just like men.
We're not things,
property,
sex toys,
or trash.
We're not something
you can say you want
one minute and then,
the next minute,
say you're over us.
Women.
We have feelings,
desires,
needs,
wants,
fears,
brains!
The Government seems
to think that we are stupid.
That we can't think for ourselves.
Well the jokes' on them!
We can decide whether or not
we want birth control.
Whether we want to get pregnant or not.
Women.
We're more than
just a "piece of ass".
We're more than
just some fuck and dump!
We are people,
humans,
with feelings!
Although, personally,
abortion is not something
I'm for,
that doesn't mean
I'm gonna tell everyone
that they can't.
It is up to us,
us women,
to decide what we
want, and
how to deal with something
if we don't want it.
Women.
We are strong,
we are smart,
we are not things for
others to use.
We are WOMEN!
We are STRONG!
So TREAT us like Equals!
Because that's what we deserve!
Now listen to what I have to say
For the wicked hide in the shadows of this day
You know nothing of what is of me
You may know the color of my eyes
But not of what they are capable to see
Now here, I've warned this upon you
For not every smile is ever true
Everything is not set in stone
You may say there is an answer
When nothing is completely known
Close your eyes, please understand
That what you may rely on is a blood-thirsty hand
Unknown of what they truly are
Watch think before you turn and talk
Someone so close to you can be so far
So remember before you go on and say
"But why would anyone do this to me anyway?"
Human nature can be full of evil and greed
Unwatched, A monster born within the shadows, full only of self pleasure and need.
You are so sweet and so sensitive. Your express such deep pain with your words. If I were to see you in front of me now, I would give the biggest hug, and let you cry the hugest crocadile tears ever cried to let you know it is so right for you to express your feelings of whatever they may be. Life can be a beautiful and easy living experience, or it can be difficult , dramatic, and full of ups and downs. I have lived both. My choices today are based upon the scales within me that weigh the huge sides of the chasm that separates my joys and my pains, and I am the only judge of that.. That chasm is different for everyone and there is no "book of rules" as to what is "fair" and what is not. We have to decide for ourselves. Our society has tried to create "laws" to bring some possibility of "normalcy" as to what is "acceptable" and what is "unacceptable"...unsuccessfully. The most that they seem to be able to do, is make the chasm smaller and smaller, until one day,the chasm may be so small, that perhaps even these very words of truth will be considered "abusive".
So the important part in this is to forgive. Forgive the person, but most of all forgive yourself for allowing yourself to think that loving another person means that you will get the results you want. The difficult part about loving as a human being is that there is no guarantee...ever...that the people you love will love you back in he same way you love them. And when you find the one that is right for you, your reward will always be in the loving itself, and not in what you expect in return. That is what love is. Love is in the loving. Love is in "being" love itself. It is it's own reward, and the rewards are felt and seen by you in your own capacity to love more and more as each hurdle you fly over passes and new ones appear in your life journey.
There are so many people who have brought such wonderful joy into my life. Many times, those same people have brought unbearable pain. It took me many years to accept that this is just the way we are as human beings. We will not always get along, we will have moments of joy, betrayal, mediocrity, (sometimes not such a bad thing considering the price paid when one lives as a thrill seeker, just my opinion), and great heartache. Don't let anyone place limits on how good or bad your life will be. YOU are the only one who has the right to do that, and I hope you learn where they are for you, but love will never change for you. It is unconditional, and YOU, are loved by the universe..."unconditionally". I wish you peace and healing. Hugs. ♥
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