*My Mr Boots*

Trisha M Barrek Hopkins

A Black fragile kitten
So tiny and barely filled with life
At five and a half weeks old 
You were smaller then my daughters mitten
He's not going to live i was told
But I wouldn't take that for an answer
I fought for you to live
And for a brief while
My love was all I could give

I fed you your baby bottle
And with each day
Your soul came back to your body
Personality began to show 
People were shocked and didn't know what to say
They couldn't believe
Oh how much you began to grow
It wasn't your time to leave


The pink came back to your toes
You held on to your life so tight
Even the wetness came back to your nose
Your fur began to shine 
You kept a strong fight 
My Mr Boots finally you were all mine 


We would sit and play on the floor
You chasing after the red laser dot 
We would go for hours 
You going in circles in the same spot 
You always wanting more 
You were non stop


Then one day to my heart 
I got a painful blow
My life was torn apart
At about five months old you just died
I couldn't understand
The morning under my daughters bed
I leaned over and touched your body again
Only this time you were so cold and so lifeless

The angels came for you after all
But exactly when
I don't know why
I'll never forget I was a terrible mess

How did your spirit fall

I don't want to cry 

I saved you from death
I didn't hear Gods call
I wasn't there when you took your last breath
I was so angry and upset
My fist hit the wall

All of sudden my tears came out of my eyes
And to my knees I began to fall


Its not fair you cant be gone
You're My Mr Boots
The kitten with a second chance to create our bond
To live your life 
You can't be the one the angels wanted
But yet they took you away 
Now your spirit is haunting 
I believe I see you everyday


Why did you have to go
I'm dumb founded I don't know what to say
I'll always remember thou
I will love you either way
You are a very special gift
And this everyone will know 



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Momentary Separation

That it’s agonising,

To leave you alone for a while, I know,

I know that your heart is crying,

I know that you don’t want to let me go.


But my love, I promise you this,

I shall return soon,

And give you a passionate kiss,

While watch jealously will the moon.


Don’t miss me more than I do,

Remember one thing ever that ‘I love you’.

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No Doubt

Short Poems

There was never any doubt

Until the haze clouded over you

And that's when you burned out 

I thought you would get through


But as it becomes clear

Our friendship is done

But I still love you my dear

No matter how much you shun


All I can do is guess

Always blaming myself

All this causes is stress

Of course you can't trouble oneself




Author's Notes/Comments: 

not my best, but it's nice to be back. I hope someone at least enjoys this and that it speaks for itself. More to come about this.

Where Is My Daddy?


Where Is My Daddy? 



 Where is my Daddy?


I said, "I do not know"?


This hurts her


Cutting deep into her soul


Why has my Daddy not called?


Does he not love me like he said he did…..after all?




I see her little face


The sadness in her eyes


She tries hard to disguise


The loneliness………That you have left behind


As she waits for my reply


I try to make her smile


To make her eyes bright and shinny


A kiss upon her cheek


The pain inside runs too deep




The tears she knew


Have been few


Her feelings………. she hides very well……way out of view


This must be my fault? She quietly said.


Echoing with a haunted dread……..


Is my Daddy….. perhaps dead?


I reassure her……. by a pat on her little head



Why then have I not seen his face?


Why has his presence not been at “our” place?


Does he not love me………. seek me to embrace?


Does he not want my kisses all over his face?


Has my daddy ….fell on his head?


Lying cold…… alone on a road…..possibly dead?




For I know my Daddy……


Something must be terribly wrong


For he would never……tally this long


He would already be here…singing me a song


This is a burden much too big…….. for a little girl to carry alone


She just misses her Daddy………and wants him to come back home




This she would never admit…..


To say those words… she’s afraid she would forget


So she hides her feelings deep inside


To say them out loud……would only make her cry



Written for ~ J








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This Is All I Can Say

I miss you, sometimes painfully,

And I love you so,

And it isn't the parts you think,

But the parts of you that glow,

It's the part only I have ever seen and loved,

I hardly know it, and yet it is the part your heart is of,

And somehow I am ashamed I never knew it,

Because to me, it's amazing...'sunlit',

Even though it's behind all your pain,

Somehow it sings my name, again and again,

But how can I ever know?

If you're afraid to let anyone in,

If you're afraid to grow?



7:44 PM 6/24/2013 ©

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Metallic love

I can't focus... it's getting to me, more each day.. 

my thoughts stretch like clay, & unfortunately mold me, here & there.. 

I wish so much for you to of been able to stay.

was it really mean't to be this way..?

cause I surely feel unsatisfied.. 

comfort is something we all crave.. 

but you were like security to me, & I watched it all get ripped away..

what a waste of a night.. what a realization, I couldn't fight..


I miss you more then the depths of the ocean go deep..

some nights like this.. I have trouble trying to sleep.. 

we yearn, we learn.. forever burn...

tables turn..

I want to take back so much i've said..

because they were useless particles floating around in my head..

6 months pass.. everything falls to ash but the memories.. 


fuck me for letting other opinions get in the way of my true heart..

fuck them for denying love.. as if they really knew.

sorry I can seem like a rainbow of emotions.. or a bleak cloudy day.. 

but I can promise much sunshine after being drenched in such heavy rain.. 


will another 6 months make a difference..?

or would it just be a whole year spent needing you..

it's not like I can't live... or breathe without you..

but it's to the point I really just don't want to... 

sorry about getting "distracted".. 

I don't excpect you to still feel like you need me,

want, love or care about me.. 

though I feel all the same & even more.


this incense continues to coil... & I could watch it for hours.

as i'm thinking.. when I die.. would this all of passed right before my eyes?

I want to know that instead of sitting here, waiting..

hoping, wondering.. not knowing.. 

instead, I'll get to see you smile again..

that for me, would never ever be a waste of time.

at least i'd know that's what I did with my last bit of life.


I don't know if I have the power anymore to get you to laugh without trying..

or the privilege of being on your mind... 

when I take my last breath, please tear this heart out of my chest..

put it in a jar.. keep it preserved.

if you go first.. i'll remember your wish, if it's still what you'd want.

i'll hold onto yours too.. even though it's no longer beating..

always I will love you.. through my hands this blood is seeping..

like treasure... from the chest.

metallic love..  

Author's Notes/Comments: 



I wanted to send you something because I thought you would like to know.
I think alot about you and I thought I'd say hello.
The truth is not a day goes by without you on my mind.
So many things I want to say; still the words are hard to find.
But I don't think I need big words to tell you how I feel.
Cause when I say "I MISS YOU" that's exactly how I feel.

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I am

The First One.

scared that’ll fall for you.
am scared to kiss you, cause am scared I might just miss you
am scared to hug you, feels harder to not hold you tighter
am scared to miss you, because it means I just might NEED YOU
am scared to laugh with you, feels like it won’t be just the two
am scared to cry for you, means I might just have TO lie to you
but what scares me the most, Is that am so scared to LOVE you
because if I do I might just close my eyes and just see US two
AND FORGET, forget, forget
THE reason for being so scared
forget, that I’ll just get HURT.

Author's Notes/Comments: 



Out of all the people that came in and out of my life in the last year, and there has been a lot, you are the one I miss the most.

I live my life by 'oh wells' rather than 'what if' or 'what could have been' but you are the only one that makes me tear up when I think of 2011

Why did you have to go?
Yet you're so close.
So unreachable.

I can't help but to think of you with every mistake I repeat.
Maybe that's one of the reasons I keep doing what I'm doing.
It's destructive, yet familiar.
Maybe I do it because when the time to cringe comes I can envision you, perfectly clear in the Adidas hoodie telling me 'i told you so'.

I miss how your voice plays across my ears.

It hurts.
In a masochistic kind of way.

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