anger

Same Love

Ever since I was small,

my parents say I was the world.

They couldn't wait for me to grow up,

and marry some special girl.

But lately this have gotten weird,

and I don't know what to do.

How do you tell your parents

That the one you love is the same sex as you?

I dated girls all my life,

kissed them and touched them just the same,

but I felt I was playing a character,

or a board piece in a game.

I'd found a girl I thought I loved,

and tried to change the way I felt.

But everytime he would walk by

my frozen heart would melt.

So we moved around in secret,

trying to hide the way we are

We moved from stolen kisses in the dark,

to holding hands beneath the stars.

Until one day she caught us.

We both froze mid-embrace.

I couldn't bear to look her way

and see all the hurt in her face.

She stamped away without a word,

I thought It was over and done.

But then I got a call from home,

telling me to come home Mr. daughter/son.

I admit that hurt a little bit,

why couldn't they understand.

That I was the same kid I always was,

I was just in love with a man.

My father was angry and indignant,

he said that I was a disgust.

That if i continued to act this way,

My moving out was a must.

My mother was much worse,

all she did was stare and cry.

She said she wished I would

have just kept up with the lie

She asked me why would I do this,

weren't girls good enough?

I said it didn't matter man or woman

it was the same love.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlVBg7_08n0

I listened to that song by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis and it made me feel "some type of way" so I wrote this because it was inspiring.

 

From birth we're taught that Girls love boys and vice versa, and society made us believe it was "wrong" to feel any other way. So I wrote this about a boy who starts to realize that he is gay and the reactions of those around him. NOT MY BEST BUT I LOVE IT :)

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Flirting With The Monster

Folder: 
D. E. A. F.

They told me what I should do,

Just leave that man alone.

He ain't no good never will be,

he'll destroy this happy home.

But I needed him despite all that,

but I didn't love him at all.

He took me high and held me there,

I felt like I was ten feet tall.

But he took me on a spiral,

and I wasn't trying to come down.

He'd drop me from 30,000 feet,

and catch me before I hit the ground.

They always say "Don't let no man control you"

But I found myself addicted.

He had my mind tied up in knots,

without him I was writhing in pain, twisted.

We lived and roamed the streets,

With no money and nothing to eat.

But I didn't care as long as I had my monster

He was the sweetest of treats .

Oh he made me make some bad decisions,

But I just couldn't bring myself to leave.

He coddled me and told me lies,

then he forced me to believe.

He showed me how to let loose,

but then he beat me black and blue.

And though I may be getting tired of the monster,

I can't get away, Cuz' I don't know how to.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem is very subtly refering to a drug (crystal meth) known as the monster. But the drug is personified as a man in a way..... So yeah

My Turn

Folder: 
D. E. A. F.

Gather round! Don't be shy..

Reach inside the bowl.

Don't think too much, just trust your gut.

And reach for pills we stole.

You never know what you may get,

the ultimate surprise.

Just reach right in and pluck one out,

remember to close your eyes.

We've got Ritalin and Beenies,

If you want heart speed to gain.

We've got Oxy and Vikes,

If you're just tryna ease the pain.

If you just wanna chill and slow down

Xanax and Valium may do the trick.

But I suggest Ecstasy and Skippy,

If you wanna give your heart rate a kick!

Pop a molly if you're scared,

or too stressed to sleep.

But maybe you'll get Lunesta,

and get knocked out without a peep.

There are many others,

I just don't know them by name.

But I guess that's the risk you take,

when you play our game.

Come on now don't chicken out,

I told you go with your gut.

NO! Don't be stupid! Not a handful!

You'll be dead before you fall on your butt.

Yes, that's right just grab two,

Now take a swig of Jack.

You must wait for it to start,

just sit still or lie back.

I know you're scared,

At my first time so was I.

But trust me it will be okay,

you know I wouldn't lie.

See I can tell you're feeling better,

I just know don't ask me how.

Just go have fun and join the others,

because I think it's my turn now.

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Who needs love anyway..

Folder: 
Love and Hope

Love is stupid, Love is blind.

Love my dumb friend, is simply unkind.

You hope to find someone that's true.

Someone who will Love you for you.

But instead You find lies.

Aching sadness and unanswered cries.

Yet love is good? Something I want?

I doubt it, Can't understand what they flaunt.

Why would I want love? If it ain't real?

Why do I need someone, to know how I feel?

Do I need kisses to make me feel warm?

Do I need a Honey? To make the bees' swarm?

Truth be told, I don't think that I do.

I don't need to be controlled by: Him, her or you.

"Better to have loved and lost," they always say...

But truth be told, "Who needs love anyway?"

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Bulletproof

Folder: 
Miscellaneous

Hateful words like sharp knives,

scratching away at the surface.

Disdainful eyes to my surprise,

Claiming I have no purpose.

My skin has hardened,

so has my poor soul.

My once optimistic mind,

Is now as black as coal.

Sticks and stones may break bones,

But words will surely hurt me.

Desperate to impress others,

show them how cold you can be.

Ugly, Stupid, Bitch, and Fatty

were many of my names.

Seeing who could make me cry,

was their favorite game.

But that solemn little girl,

Who used to shrink away in fear.

Has long since died from tears she cried,

That child is no longer here.

Say what you have to say,

try your best to get beneath my skin.

I will remain unaffected,

so let your games begin.

I will no longer try to hide,

To try to avoid the things you say.

For all those people who targeted me,

They will surely pay.

They expected me to crumble and fall,

to be crushed by simple words,

Understand my weakness is gone,

I am no longer that quiet nerd.

I am stronger than I was back then,

I am way stronger than my youth.

So keep on spraying hateful words,

My skin is bulletproof.

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Emotion of Anger

Folder: 
My Life

I try my best,

It is not enough.

I try a little less,

You get puffed up.

I try and try 

Your yelling makes me cry

"It is just the way I talk," is something I don't buy!

You joke and play while I turn the other way,

But if I do the same, I'm the one to blame

For your aggression and dismay?

I don't like this game.

I will not play along as you sing your "happy song"

Stop hiding behind the fog, stop hiding in the mist!

One day I will be gone, and trust me, I will be missed.

I'm tired of your fits, I'm balling up my fists

Do or die is what I will cry, when I tell you my goodbye's

I'm gone.....

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tags:

Black Woman

 

Black woman ope'd the back door
and found that she was done,
last night's fire had come to embers
but the blaze had just begun,

On the verandah, all around 'er
bottles, bongs and butts,
calm and still her outside,
but chaos in her guts,

Resolve was mounting in her bones
and soon it'd take her heart,
so on purpose for the last time
she let it break apart,

Then as the morning sun rose
and her tears evaporated,
her soul had closed, her heart had froze,
her love annihilated.

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Ruthless Monotony

I'd love to write a poem of hate right now,
But hate only brings the same,
I'd love to tear the walls down,
And paint everything black,
My soul is crying out with rage
Like an animalistic scavenger,
Seeking the blood to tear the guts
From the bellies of demons who created this disaster.

And inner peace speaks softly
All the while beyond this fury,
I cry not only for the anger,
But I cry because of this beauty,
A spark that's lived within the thrawls
And clutches of such untold deceit,
I'm weak as a lamb and fall down in mercy
...and bow to love's defeat.

 

7:45 PM 4/17/2013 ©

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is a poem about the silent spark that pummels through our rage. 'Be still and know that I am god--this too shall pass'

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They call me "It"

They call me it,

I have no name,

I am only five,

My existence fuels their shame.

When company comes,

In the basement I hide.

My father must maintain,

His honor...his pride.

One day I couldn't stay,

I really had to pee,

This was also the day,

father started to beat me.

The company looked at me,

but their eyes held disdain,

Such a dirty "it" as I?

We belong in the rain.

Father smiled at their jokes,

said I'd been playing in mud.

Did they recognize his crazed look?

Or his eyes shot with blood?

Right then I feared father,

though i can not explain why,

I hid inside the bathroom,

suddenly afraid I would die.

I heard the company leave,

the closing of the door.

Heard Father shout "IT!",

But i cowered on the floor.

He burst in the bathroom ,

i gave a frightened shout.

He slapped me hard across the face,

when i tried to get out.

I curled in a ball,

while he beat me with his fists,

I was covered in blood,

from the force of his hits.

     It was an hour before,

     Mother could pull him away,

     I still remember their groaning noises,

     right until this very day.

 He calls me it,

I have no name,

I am only ten,

my existence fuels his game.

For the past three days,

I have sat and cried,

My mother killed herself,

she left me...died.

One day i heard a door slam,

Father was back from his drinking spree,

That was also the day,

father started raping me.

He walked into the room,

then he told me it was okay even dried my eyes,

I could barely speak,

nor hide my evident surprise.

The look in his eyes held no love,

yet no look of disgust,

Only a look of hatred,

and a demonic lust.

Leaning in close,

the corner of my mouth he kissed.

All my protests of how wrong this was,

he eagerly dismissed.

Then Father did things,

no man should do to a child of ten,

From that day I swore,

i would never be taken advantage of again

But my father,

He would still come every night.

And beat me...

until i couldn't put up much of a fight.

I can only bite my lip,

bide my time,

And hope one day,

that revenge will be mine.

 He calls me it,

I have no name.

I am only thirteen,

my existence remains the same.

My stomach aches,

it also grows,

Each day it continues,

it never slows.

I keep throwing up,

I cannot eat,

I have swollen ankles,

and aching feet.

One day a lady walked up,

and knocked on the door,

she told me i didn't

have to stay there anymore.

I opened the door and shouted,

tempted to give her a hug or a kiss maybe.

She gasped at the sight,

of my belly fattened with a baby.

I told her we must go,

before Father comes home,

because then he would never,

EVER leave me alone.

I had my baby,

but I sent her away.

to a family with a woman,

who would allow her to stay.

Before giving her up,

I made one request,

that she be treated like a child,

not an unwanted guest.

Before they called me it,

they gave me no name.

I'm 16 but was born at home,

and no longer a victim of father's game.

Now out of my fathers clutches,

I have gained identity,

You may not call me it.

But you may call me....Free 

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