Psycho- Confessions

Fade Away

Folder: 
Volume One

 
 
 

 

~~)(~~

Fade Away”

 

 

Everyone has their clicks, and their picks

but for me, a nobody with no where to go

lost in the tide, lost in the flow

the false sense of reality

of something I'll never see

of something I'll never be

Its the way it is

nothing left to give, to dead to live

 

"Fade away, as I prayed today

to a God I don't believe exists

from a heart that has tried to resist"

 

Don't take this away from me again

I won't be able to pick up the pieces

The nightmares start all over

I'll be lucky if I'm sober

Don't take this away from me

It's the only thing I have

It's my reason to be

without it, I'll just fade away

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Found this stashed away in my notebook, its a rather old poem I wrote

 

(Updated; From Psycho- Confessions)

View matthewwayne's Full Portfolio

Suffocate

Folder: 
Volume One

 
 
 

~~)(~~

Suffocate”

 

 

I love the misery that taunts me

I love the whore that haunts me

I love the word pain, its my symbolic stain

There is nothing left to debate

all you wanted was to procreate

Living just to suffocate”

 

This is what you said

I didn’t want to hurt you”

so you fucked with my head

when your trust was earned

Bitch, I got burned

There is nothing left to debate

I was just your estate

something you could just suffocate”

 

You are the fuel for my fire

the poison in my spider

the whore in my heart

the needle for my heroin

my one true sin

I have no regrets

nothing is left but hate

the one thing you could not suffocate

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I was inspired to write this poem by my one ex, she knows who she is.. This is the first poem Ive written that was close enough to acctually potray the anger Ive had bottled up inside me for so long.. dont get me wrong, I hate what she did to me but I still love her and always will..

 

(Updated; From Psycho- Confessions)

View matthewwayne's Full Portfolio

My Confession

Folder: 
Volume One

 
 
 

~~)(~~

My Confession”

 

 

You remind me of the past, of a kiss never meant to last

this feeling I’ve long sought, but never once forgot

I never told you how I truly felt

kept it a lie so my heart wouldn’t melt

before you, I was struggling over something great

and now I feel this might be to late

 

I can’t keep it a secret anymore

it’s the reason I’m fight for

My words were a lie, My heart wont Deny

I loved you then, I’ll love you until I die”

 

This is my confession, and you are my reason

I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I wished you knew

that you mean more to me now

then a past full of pain, full of hurt

you remind me just how much,

the affects of one little touch,

Can do, because I love you

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I was inspired to write this, for the feelings behind a girl who ultimately lied to me, broke my heart and used me. Basicly played me for a game, if only I had known in hindsight the pain I went through, this poem would have never been written.

 

(Updated; From Psycho- Confessions)

View matthewwayne's Full Portfolio

Lost Hope

Folder: 
Volume One

 
 
 

~~)(~~

Lost Hope”

 

 

 

How can you stand there, and look me in the eyes

deep past all the shady lies

and still say you care

I'm the one living this nightmare

 

My heart died long ago

My reason for which she stole

even now, her voice is as strong as the wind

a hurricane against my skin”

 

How do I recover, from this suicide revolver

The Past, The Future its all just a blur

Of a life that is so Impure

There is a secret inside my head

that will follow me till I'm laying on my death bed

 

Save me from myself

Save me from the misery

A monster inside of me

of a man it wants to be

waiting for death to set my soul free”

 

How can you stand there, and look me in the eyes

telling me it will be alright, yet the world around us dies”

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

hmmm My newest poem, I had much confusion while writing that one.. Seems Writing has become more and more complicated to me lately

 

(Updated; From Psycho- Confessions)

View matthewwayne's Full Portfolio

Blind Faith

Folder: 
Volume One

 
 
 

~~)(~~

Blind Faith”

 

 

 

If I’m going to Hell

Therese a secret I’m going to tell

It’s not a pretty white lie

It will make your faith run dry

 

I wanna die like Jesus Christ

nailed to that which is the ultimate heist

crowned by that which is the T.V age

sung upon your bloody stage

 

We can start with a clean slate

Once I pass around this collection plate

Now throw me your money as gold

through which your soul was sold

 

I wanna die like Jesus Christ

nailed to that which is the ultimate heist

crowned by the computer age

sung on your corrupted stage

 

I could be your God, if he wasn’t so flawed

I could be your prophet, I see “The Stock Market”

I could be your brother, crawl into bed with me lover

I can be your priest, A little boy’s feast.

 

I can be your saint, your angel, and your minister

or how about something a little more sinister

I can be the Antichrist

it’s a big job but a small price.

How about the devil

all I’d have to do is sink to your level

Its all so real,

The X you sign

to complete the deal

I want to believe

but I can’t go back

It’s a war I already lost

nailed to your fucking cross

 

I wanna die like Jesus Christ

Dead in Life, and still your fucking Sacrifice

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

(Updated; From Psycho- Confessions)

View matthewwayne's Full Portfolio

Hallow

Folder: 
Volume One

 
 
 

~~)(~~

Hallow”

 

 

I'm messed up in the head

I can't get my shit together

and nothing seems to make me better

Everything I tried

just made me think of Suicide

 

Is this the outcome of my life

right now it's as dull as this knife

Just when I thought it was over, the hurting starts again

like before, the cutting will soon begin

 

Before long, seems like everything is gone

digging down I just need to hold on

 

There is no point in living, if you have nothing to live for

you taught me life; meant so much more

but that seems so long ago

since then I've fallen so low

that it looks like nothing will help

am I do die like this? Am I to be Missed?

My life is a shattered mess

hallow and meaningless

 

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

(Updated; From Psycho- Confessions)

View matthewwayne's Full Portfolio

Heaven Did it Hurt

Folder: 
Volume One

 
 
 

~~)(~~

Heaven did it hurt”

 

 

Heaven did it hurt?

Heaven are those tears real?

Heaven why is it so hard for you to feel

and so easy for you to kill

 

You stood there wanting me to leave

I was stripped of everything but still begged you please

all my love now runs dry

watching as my life passes me by

This is the way it has to be

Death is all I can see

Living it day by day

Living it until I decay

Heaven did it hurt?

Heaven are those tears real?

deep down a part of me wishes you were real

heaven why is it hard for you to feel

and so easy for you to kill

 

I loved you with all my heart

but you tore me apart

you had a name, but it was still the same

All my love, just turned to pain

Heaven did it hurt

When you destroyed my life?

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

(Updated; From Psycho- Confessions)

View matthewwayne's Full Portfolio

Redemption

Folder: 
Volume One

 
 
 

~~)(~~

Redemption”

 

 

 

My heart seeks Redemption

my mind for Salvation

and no matter what I do, will never bring it back

My life, my hope, Turned deadly black

 

 

No where left to hide

No where left to run

It's all been said, it's all been done, It's just the same as before

How lonely I am

How hurt I've been

and it's just a haunting memory

 

 

So it's all about my Redemption

fighting death's sweet temptation

it's a mystery, death has but one answer

that life is just one big cancer

We struggle day by day

and every night you go to bed and pray

but this is what I have to say

 

 

"It's a battle for my Redemption

for a Life I never wanted, and constantly being haunted

I was in the wrong place, wrong time

suffering from someone else's crime

So I see it like this

It's a fight to stay alive, It's a battle to survive

It's my bitter, bitter Redemption."

 

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

(Updated; From Psycho- Confessions)

View matthewwayne's Full Portfolio

Wish

Folder: 
Volume One

 
 
 

~~)(~~

Wish”

 

 

I wish I could turn back time

I wish I could have spoke that right line

The one your heart begged to hear

but I held back in fear

 

 

What was all that fighting for

it just made my heart sore

I was never any good at this

I never even felt a real kiss

I wish I could lift your emotional scar

but you keep reminding me the distance is to far

 

 

"When I stop trying,

The tears I'll start crying

and once again I'll start dying"

 

 

I wish I could whisper "I love you" in your ear

I wish I could hold you near

but I can't even recognize my own reflection in the mirror

 

 

This is no fairy tale

My life is hell

But its a wishful dream, a hopeful thought

because it was you that my shattered heart had caught

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

(Updated; From Psycho- Confessions)

View matthewwayne's Full Portfolio