A lonely introvert

growing pains

She's afraid of her mind so she keeps thoughts inside

no one will understand, so why even try? 

 just swallow them. Be alone and cry. 

Read self help books, be a good friend 

smile, hide, bury yourself, pretend. 

Get relief- hide, cry and do it all again. 

Until one day, cracks are too big to mask 

tears shine through, and she clearly sees. 

How can they care for me,or help, she asks 

for i have hid myself, my pain, my tears.

All they know is the mask. 

Not knowing the struggle to cover

Dark thoughts, tears, guilt and shame never expressed.

swallowed and silenced for no gain. what cold cruel pain! 

Tormented, alone and silent with a broken mask and a shattered spirit.

shes only seeking a friend. 

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tormented And Hurt

tormented and hurt

i can feel it coming on
like the calm before the storm
like a flower without sunlight
is my body badly torn
i took it for granted the days i could go
now i sit here, all alone
day by day it doesnt change
just a hard uphill battle every fucking day
tomorrow will be bad
probably worse than today
as i walk to the front door
and smell the air
my breathing gets heavy
hands start to shake
can feel like my knees , are starting to break
i can see the sunlight
just out of my reach
as i drop to the floor, feet from the door
its already to late
it broke my legs
and cut my throut
with its long rusty jaged hooks
into my back
it halls me back to hell ,
It has won
anxiety and depression
will not be overcome ...
even tho ill wait my chance
day by day
I'll once again to break free someday ...

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Volume One






I'm messed up in the head

I can't get my shit together

and nothing seems to make me better

Everything I tried

just made me think of Suicide


Is this the outcome of my life

right now it's as dull as this knife

Just when I thought it was over, the hurting starts again

like before, the cutting will soon begin


Before long, seems like everything is gone

digging down I just need to hold on


There is no point in living, if you have nothing to live for

you taught me life; meant so much more

but that seems so long ago

since then I've fallen so low

that it looks like nothing will help

am I do die like this? Am I to be Missed?

My life is a shattered mess

hallow and meaningless





Author's Notes/Comments: 

(Updated; From Psycho- Confessions)

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Volume One






I'm Fucked in the head

Your god is dead

you said I was obsessed

they said I was depressed

nothing is what it seems

were lost within our own dreams

my pain will portray

my emotions will decay

all things will start to delay

my thoughts will slow

nothing can save me now

my mind just won't allow

hurt in many ways

hurt in so many days

peel my skin away

now its impossible for my words to say

you made me believe

that even in the darkest of eve

Love will bloom, but then it will consume

I am hurting beyond words

I am hurt, nothing but dirt

my blood runs cold

the memories in which I hold, will never be told

never again will I love, killed my only chance

the misery will only enhance

hurting I dance, to this devil's prance


Author's Notes/Comments: 

(Updated; From Psycho- Confessions)

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Why, God Why

Volume One





Why, God Why”


I'm a marked man;

"Why god why"

I'm stuck, I'm so fucked

I'm a shame, I'm in so much pain

I'm in to deep, through my hands you will seep

Hate me! Rape me!, take me down

turn my smile into a frown

"Tell me why god, Tell me why"

As this world kills me now

yet I don't know how

"Why god why"

This world hates me so

through my veins this pain will flow

Everywhere I am shunned

what have I done

"Why god why"

Author's Notes/Comments: 

(Updated; From Psycho- Confessions)

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