Psycho- Confessions

The Search

Folder: 
Volume One


 

 

 

~~)(~~

The Search”

 

 

He creeps up to my bed

waiting for my death,

of my last breath

he reaches in and takes what he wants

then with my soul he taunts

knowing that I am damned

I search north and south of these lands

for my humanity, knowing I look to be a monster

I don't care much for vanity,

I don't carry much just my sanity

not to mention just my bare,

as people tend to mock and stare

that didn't bother me much.

My soul became more and more hopeless

my head seems so empty and alone

finally I lay a wreck across my head

Knowing that I am dead

 

"Death is the only way out!"

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

(Updated; From Psycho- Confessions)

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The Soul

Folder: 
Volume One


 

 

 

 

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The Soul”

 

 

I can pass through a crack in the wall

I can soar through a long hall

I will fall and get back up

Some say I won't die

some say I can't die

some even say I come from the sky

I am the man of mystery

I am the man who cannot die

but inside I am torn apart

but I have died, died inside

 

"Death is the only way out"

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This was the very first poem I ever wrote, back when I was still in school. I had made the mistake of showing this to one of my teaching hoping and expecting for them to be proud of my creativity, however instead what I got was a nightmare of councilers and lectures about being depressed and suicidal and all that fun stuff.

 

(Updated; From Psycho- Confessions)

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To Bleed

Folder: 
Volume One


 

 

 

 

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To Bleed”

 

To Bleed is to cry,

a cry for a prayer

Blood is the essence of life and death

Death to life

While I lie in my casket; to wait and to hear

a cry for help, its time

Judgment time

 

"Death is the only way out"

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

(Updated; From Psycho- Confessions)

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Torture

Folder: 
Volume One

 

 

 

 

~~)(~~

Torture”

 

Tie me up, and tear out my heart

Beat me, scold me and let it start

cut me

bleed me

let me fear

gut me and hang me like a deer

Kill me now

don't waste time

I'm not worth a single dime

I can hear the song of death

I can feel the cold

I can see the light

In the darkness of the Night

Help me

set me free before it's done

you think this is fun?

My ribs can feel the air

you this this is fair?

Then it stops, all is quiet

The pain, the feelings its all gone

I lie here in my bloody bed

it is done I am dead

Author's Notes/Comments: 

(Updated; From Psycho- Confessions)

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Under the Moonlight

Folder: 
Volume One

 

 

 

~~)(~~

Under the Moonlight”

 

Close your eye's under the Moonlight

if I do anything right

let it be this kiss tonight

hold me tight

don't let our love slip out of sight

close your eye's under the moonlight

don't tell me this is wrong, when it feels so right

I don't ever want this night to end

I remember your every touch

and afterward I'd miss it vary much

how you whisper in my ear, that you love me

the way your breath feels against my skin that subtle degree

my love for you is free

hold me close under the moonlight

I wouldn't give you up without a fight

because you are my only light

Kiss me once, and I'll love you forever

Kiss me twice, and we will be together

because tonight we're both under the moonlight

Author's Notes/Comments: 

(Updated; From Psycho-Confessions)

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Why, God Why

Folder: 
Volume One

 

 

 

~~)(~~

Why, God Why”

 

I'm a marked man;

"Why god why"

I'm stuck, I'm so fucked

I'm a shame, I'm in so much pain

I'm in to deep, through my hands you will seep

Hate me! Rape me!, take me down

turn my smile into a frown

"Tell me why god, Tell me why"

As this world kills me now

yet I don't know how

"Why god why"

This world hates me so

through my veins this pain will flow

Everywhere I am shunned

what have I done

"Why god why"

Author's Notes/Comments: 

(Updated; From Psycho- Confessions)

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The Pain of Suicide

Folder: 
Volume One


 

 

~~)(~~

The Pain of Suicide”

 

 

Our hearts turning black,

there's no turning back

your hands stained red

from the blood you shed

The world is now dead

Life is but a dream, that cannot seem

draw your gun because you are dead

falling out of life

falling out of peoples memories

killing yourself for others to see

Hearing your pain, but then forgetting your sane

 

Kill yourself now,

I'll show you how

 

Forget about everyone who cares

remember all those stupid dares

and how everyone turned and stared

clear your head, Pull the trigger now

It doesn't matter, reflect on your life

 

Oh how you wish to have been a someone

But as you dream life gets harder

but you see how everyone hates you

so you want nothing more than to make them pay

oh how much you wish to say

 

"Hiding in the shadows, waiting to hear your reason why;

or how I wish to fly, to go beyond the bounds of human feelings"

 

But that doesn't matter now

Kill yourself, I'll show you how

 

Close your eyes,

all those painful memories die

Pull the hammer back, wait for the pain to take

as you begin to shake, now your life is in your hand

It's time for you to take a stand

a single tear rolling down your cheek, now on your knees.

 

 

Pray for salvation.

The gun in front of your view, if only the cure you knew.

One last look, one last touch, feeling so empty, feeling so alone

all is gone and no one home

Pick up the gun, point it to your head,

your thoughts racing through your mind

your life racing against the time

Any last words from your mouth to the open air?

 

"Life is not fair"

 

Pulling the trigger, the sound echoes through the still air

Falling towards the ground. laying in his blood..

slowly closing his eyes, as he turns his head

Now he's Dead.

 

Why God Why

"So much pain so little gain,

So much hate so little faith"

 

"Death is the only way out"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Okay figured I'd shed a little light on this poem, its been years since I wrote it yet can still remember that day.. I was going through a very rought time in my life, and I've never been strong on the idea of suicide but then who has not thought about it? That particular night I was going through a very bad depression and as it turned out I had butchered my arm in the atempt to drown out the pain I was feeling, I believe if it were not for this poem I had wrote I could have very well been hosbitalized..

 

(Updated; from Psycho- Confessions)

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Damaged

Folder: 
Volume One

 

 

 

 

~~)(~~

Damaged”

 

I am damaged

my mind, my body, my soul.

I feel like I'm never whole

The dreams dance around my mind.

Wishing I could just hit rewind

to see it all over again

to see you again.

I am damaged

but somehow I managed

to crawl out and see

a world I built around me

beautiful and grotesque.

Something no one could molest.

This is my life, this is my home.

 

Somewhere in it all I got lost.

Somewhere in it all I got damaged.

This is what I am

its what separates me from them.

I am damaged

my spirit, my heart, my will

I close my eyes and I can feel

all the pain, escaping into my words, into my art

and that is when I know, it bled from my heart.

 

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

(Updated; From Psycho- Confessions)

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Dream Again

Folder: 
Volume One


 

 

 

~~)(~~

Dream Again”

 

 

I want to love again

but its been so long

I want a new life to begin

but it seems to far out of my reach

 

I want to close my eyes, to dream of blue skies

I want to sleep at night, to not wake up in a fright

I want to fight for something, worth living for

so I can close this chapter and move on to something more

 

There was once a time I could smile

and not feel it was a lie

there was once a time when I would cry

when I wasn't sad or mad

There has got to be more to all this

maybe there is a secret behind your kiss

a secret that you cannot say

but feel to this vary day

 

I want to close my eyes, to dream of the blue skies

I want to sleep at night, and not wake in a fright

I want to live FOR the moment once again

instead of dwelling in the past

for something that didn't even last

 

 

I wish I could love once again

even if it was for only a second.

 

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

(Updated; From Psycho- Confessions)

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