There was something there
I refuse to believe you’re unaware
Of all those moments and what we shared
Not only is it incredibly unfair
To be painted as someone impaired
Because I noticed exactly what was there
Maybe I’m right and you needed some flare
So you used my emotions regardless of the tear
It caused in my heart when I became aware
That I was nothing more than an ego stroke
Because it all seemed like the perfect joke
Fool the girl into heartbreak
By letting her know she was never great
Not even close, it was just a prank
Either way I don’t care
If you actually liked me deep down somewhere
Because now I know the definition for overrated
And next time I won’t be so easily baited
I will dangle from a thread,
Before I let go of you;
You will have to pick me off,
Say, "fuck off",
And flick me away.
Make sure I'm long in the distance;
See that it's dark,
Cold,
Dank.
Do not care.
Just walk away;
Leave me to stumble
Crawl,
Fight,
My way to the light.
When I call your name,
Please be silent.
Do not call out to me,
Even if it's kind of you to guide me.
Maybe I'll get lost,
Or someone will find me along the way,
And take a left,
When I ask to go right;
So, when I get to where I need to be,
Maybe you will be nothing to me.
That is the only way to get rid of me
by Jeph Johnson
Your bloodshot eyes met mine steel blue
And for one brief moment life seemed brand new
The dance you dance on the avenue
Is a different dance than I'm used to
Yet for awhile I did conclude
Things could still be good for both our moods
But no matter how much I want them to
It seems my dreams never come true
They began but we got confused
And now I don't even have a clue
Why love like this I wanna persue
Or why for hours I waited for you
On the dark night of the crescent moon
You danced away to a barbecue
Now I don't deserve one such as you
But I desperately need myself a muse
by DaddyO
A weak little boy in a "daddy" disguise
Bought all the toys money could buy
For his babygirl to leave on the floor
He gave her his world, but she wanted more
When she was annoyed she'd never cry
For she was his joy and he trusted the lie
With dysthymia permeating her core
Her idea was simply to walk out the door
Instead of trying to reconcile love
She left behind miles and miles of
Heartstrings securing his heart to hers
Her destiny's clearing while his vision blurs
Out of sight,
Out of mind.
It has been eight years,
But still I never forget.
I stopped waiting for you.
I have been in different relationship.
Like a ball,
I kept bouncing back to you.
I miss you,
You don't miss me.
I love you,
You don't love me.
Why I am afraid to lose you?
When you are not even mine.
I can conquer everything,
But not your love.
I want to be the one for you.
But you are the moon,
And I am the sun.
We would never meet.
If I could give you one thing,
It's the ability to see yourself through my eyes.
Maybe finally you can see the real me,
For you to see and look at me.
We aged and change,
Maybe this time we could meet.
Put all these things behind the past.
Start all over again for a better version of us.
What would I tell you?
If but all the things left unsaid
My heart overflows
But you can’t hear them
When did love become a field
That when plowed with such tender words
Becomes a battlefield
that runs red with the open wounds of untold thousands?
With the love in my heart my soul wishes for you
A brighter day than the last
Where we greet each day with a thought of each other
And end each in turn in an embrace.
Where a road not traveled
led to a grove of refreshing trees
and we stood unafraid in the clearing
confessing our love for each other
The sweet nothings, the sound of your breath in my ear
a melody of daily perfection
where we meet our fullness
in the bread that is the other’s mere presence?
Reality is our bread,
Pain it’s main course
Damned by our own limitations and longings
Of it we’ve had our fill
A tender expression,
a longing look,
a lingering touch
reminders of a love that cannot be
Forever is our course
Eternity is our damnation
That our paths had crossed earlier
So that our longing could be satisfied
So what’s leftover?
True love never dies.
It’s sad undeath remains
unsaid
Slowly, slowly, slowly...
This is the speed that I can feel you
slipping through my fingers.
The way you act around me now,
is so different thank it was before.
You may let me be near you,
but your body language
is speaking volumes to me.
You sit stiffly,
not looking at me much.
I can see, day by day,
that what we used to be
now is just a fantasy...
Slowly, slowly, slowly
I can feel you just
slipping right through my fingers.
You'll never be mine again.
Addictive Pain
They say eyes are the windows to the soul, but all your eyes do when you look at me is take control, I am no noble man and could never be a saint – all I've got is this pen and on this paper it’s my soul I paint.
I am a slave to the heart, wrapped up in mental chains – I let down my guard as your memory danced upon my brains. Staring at this blank wall as the paint starts to peel – these words could never really express how I feel.
Open my minds closet and let all my skeletons go, I need to be free from these secrets and let the world know. I once had a heart until I gave it to this woman, who then ripped it apart and had me doubting that I am human.
But this world is so cruel for a man like me, a man with a heart as sweet as candy. Even though I have been through love’s wrath, I would never divert and roam on hate’s path.
Knock on my door and look through my window, her love was more poisonous than a black widow. I swear that her heart bleeds ivory black, despite all this pain I always come back.
Mpho Lebohang Mokhele™
30/10/2014
The inspiration behind this piece is a relationship I was once involved in which possessed a lot of unrequited love and emotional manipulation.