Not who I want to be

Anger coarsing through my veins
growing more with every breathe i take
rip away the mask
so it doesn't look like im hiding behind stain glass

nails wanting to rip her now cold flesh
to feel the warm of her blood
running over her soft skin
she screams knowing no one will reply
at this point she is everything, but fake

tears slowly running black, drip to the page
but no one will see, no one will hear
a rage deep with she struggles to fight
i don't want to harm myself anymore

breathe your life into me
and bring me back to where i'm suppose to be
the monster staring back at me
is not who i want to be
but it is in

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An eye for an eye

Six years ago I perjured myself at a murder trial.
Now I realize what I did was both evil and vile.
My poor sister was the person who was killed.
When I testified, the defendant's fate was sealed.

I was so sure that he was guilty, that's why I lied.
The man was sentenced to death after he was tried.
I wanted that man to die eversince he was placed under arrest.
But two months ago another man came forward and confessed.

That man went to the gas chamber because I said that I saw him kill my sister.
I was consumed by pain and anger and I really missed her.
I really did wrong when I took the stand.
My lie caused the death of an innocent man.

I confessed that I perjured myself and now I'm in jail.
I feel so much guilt and remorse and now I live in Hell.
I felt that it was an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.
Justice would've prevailed if I had simply told the truth.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is a fictional poem.

View randyjohnson's Full Portfolio

Blood Stained Wings

Trapped within a
That started as a
Pleasant dream
I rattle the bars of my cage,
Hoping for release.

When did my happy home,
Turn into such a painful place?
When did this so-called love,
Turn into firey Hate?

So now I wait,
To awake from my restless
sleep, and hope for a
Better tomorrow,
And fight for a chance

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Comments/Thoughts appreciated.

Old Wishes

Why is it i still love you?
Why do i act like i'm only a friend
Inside i want to say that's true
But it's with you my life i'm to spend

I'm hiding behind a mask
Because i can't get over you
So i put myself to the task
Of trying to forget you

I feel worthless, insane and consummately inane. Because i wont ever tell you.
Because i wont let my brain, thoughts of you entertain.

I'm losing control of my emotions
I know you more than anyone
But you don't see my hidden devotion
Because after causing you trouble i'm done

i want your happiness to abound
Because i love you more than you know
I just want to hear the sound
Of all your happy moments grow

So i'm facing myself
And putting my love aside
So i don't feel all alone
I just can't seem to abide
With my own feelings
And this strange animosity
Throwing me against the ceiling
Through my own curiosity

Because i love you
But for you it's not there
Not a thing to do
Except act debonaire.

You love someone that Doesn't love you back. You don't see me because he blinds you. Love is the only thing i lack. But if you're happy, i can be through.

Struggling as much as i do
You have always been there to help me through
And even in my eyes you cannot see
I just want your happiness to Be.

I'm sorry i'm inadequate.
My experience illiterate
But please be considerate
Be my friend. So i don't quit.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this after a break up of a relationship that was never there. I yearned to be with her even though I despised her. I hope someone can relate with this.


Gotta live until i die,don't nobody take me out before my time Gunshots in the night,you know this can't be right listen up,take my hand;help me when i take my stand gotta rise,gotta sing,sing so strong,down the sorrow with my song,take back the day,take back the night,with our hearts and our voices,we'll win this fight

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Hear me

Will you hear me if i cry,above the thunder of anger,over blasts of fear and hate,when help comes not at all,or when it comes to late? When streets explode with fire,and hearts grow dead with grief,when all the sounds are sad,and there's no more relief?Will you hear me if i cry will you come before i die?

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Anger is the root cause of many falling sick,
Check on anyone who is ailing for long,
Anger in him, you will definitely pick

Anger can be bursted outward or suppressed inwards
When it is pulled inwards,
Stress and depression, one moves towards

Why are we getting angry so often?
Don’t we understand holding anger; we are moving faster to our coffin

What have you bought in the world to lose?
Do your work, do your duty, enjoy the present moment,
Stop asking questions on What’s Mine? And This is Whose?

When a person moves out of the rat race,
That’s when anger is wiped out of his life’s phase.

Leave anger and work for a solution,
The great god will give you the right intuition

He who does not nurture anger, lives a life that is so fine!
The Lord is seen in him, as he manifests just like the divine!

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You and Me

So here we are Lord, one more time.
I'm at the end of my rope. I forgot how to climb.
This door Im in is shutting that i see,
but I can't step out of it til another opens for me.
Sometimes I feel so little, so uninspired
cause I constantly live in this world full of liars.
With You, nothing can stop me.
Not anger...not even sin,
but damn, Im only human.
Sooner or later I'll fall, and You'll be there
along with a few others who definitely care.
Right then You'll lift me up high
beyond your shoulders, above the sky
to that place where only we know
where it begins and where it ends.
It represents life's twists, turns, and bends.
Scene by scene my life goes by,
and the old Footprints painting comes to mind.
Jesus and a man walking on a beach.
Reminds me of my life except I was drowning at sea.
Then You gave Your life so that I could swim,
and met me on the beach as everything seemed dim.
We didn't hunt for food, or sit and have tea!
We just walked along the and me.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I just wrote this off the top of my head. The words flowed through me from the Holy Spirit.

View exthias1983's Full Portfolio

A Pointless Existence- A Meth Addicts View on Life

Old Stuff

I have a fire burning deep in my soul.
A secret obsession I can barely contol.

I live on life, not regret.
So why are you so fucking upset?

The skies are as red as the blood gushing from my decimated heart.
This is YOUR fault- you tore our whole fucking relationship apart!

I know this burning, searing hatred is branded with your name.
Cos the simple, mere thought of you pumps acid through my veins.

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