All Awry


String at the TV

Not watching it

Too many thoughts

Nothing fits


Everything is wrong

And nothings right

All hopes and dreams

Are outta sight


It all hurts

And never goes away

How can I fix it

What can I say


Grief overshadows

Depression sets in

Let me sit while

My world spins


~Chrystal Swallows

Written on

October 6, 2003

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This was written after an argument with Steve.

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It's Metaphysical

Assorted Stuff

I’m not a two-cent ho or
Some stuck up bitch
Believe me sweetie
I wish I wasn’t born beautiful
Just filthy fucking rich

Do you know what its
Like to be pursued
Every day by
Some random dude

Nope that’s right
You’re ugly and fat
SO… you don’t have guys
Chasing you like that

Please excuse me if
I come across rude
But I don’t like
Your fucking attitude

I couldn’t help but
Notice as I walked by
You giving me a deadly dose
Of your venomous stink eye

Yes I know this
Dress is short
But calling me a whore?
Let me retort

I’m not just drop dead sexy
I have a good personality too
I’m not only magnificently hot
I’m also way cooler than you

You watched me walk by
Because you heard me coming
I know!! These heels are to die for
Aren’t they absolutely stunning?

You may have eye fucked
The shit out of me
But there are some things
The eyes simply can’t see

Things lay under the surface
You couldn’t possibly know
Like the fact that I
Graduated college with a 4.0

I know I’m in this club
All glittered and glam
So when you look at me you
Think this is all that I am

The dress is short the heels are high
And Yes, I strut my stuff as I stomp on by
Looking like a hot sex kitten
The boys all stare I’ve got them smitten

Another thing you cannot see
Simply by my physicality

I’m not proud
I’m defeated
I don’t feel hot
I feel cheated

The American dream
haha that’s wicked fucking funny
I’m a college graduate
Reduced to cocktailing to make money

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Don't cock block my vitamin D or you'll make a real bitch outta me


“You need eye wear,” says the kid at the gym
“I didn’t last time,” I said to him
“Well unfortunately it’s our policy”
Was his reply back to me
I don’t know why it pissed me off so bad
I know he’s just doing his job but I got so mad
10 dollar eye wear…yeh okayyy go fuck yourself
Do me a favor and put that shit right back on the shelf
Smiling softly and saying “I understand” as I walk away
Thinking about things that I'd really like to say
All I wanted to do was get into a tanning bed
But I left that place fucking pissed off instead
I hate the people that work at that particular Planet Fitness
I gotta stop going there or God is my witness
The bell will toll and heads will roll
The little bitchy girl behind the counter goes first
She’s the one that annoys me the worst
Wanna throw punches and elbows in her smooshy snotty little face
Get all UFC up in that wretched place
Knock the kid with the eye wear from here to hell
Then beat his ass with a 20lb dumbbell
“Now that would be a workout”, I think as I start my car
I’m glad I don’t have to drive very far
It’s fucking frrrrrrreezing
Which is why I love tanning so much during this season

Author's Notes/Comments: 

little things really piss me off for no reason i vent by writing i guess?

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I. Sinister, In Many Forms

Is it the sense of direction,

for i am on a road where all street signs point in two directions,

is it the life they live,

mine is an unorganized supermarket,

what seperates you from me,

do we not breath the same oxygen and hydrogen,

do we not shed the same salty human tears,

we want to love and be loved,

is it balls,

i have balls,

Is it the clothing we hide under because they ressembel our poverty,

what makes a man?

containing sadness and hate in a bottle till point of eruption,

is it holding a gun to a strangers head because our battles are silenced by the bullet,

is it beating the shit out of someone to prove our strength,

 this is a contest ,

what do i have to prove to you ,

are actions enough?

must the soul piercing words of mankind change the way we perceive one another,

must the media feed false information,

i will wait for better days,

You can hurt me curse me beat me cheat me humiliate me spit on me,

i will turn the other cheek,

I will seek revenge,

but thats all in time and right now your not worth wasting it,

not worth the chemicals in my brain to unbalance,

Only chemical i know is love,

What makes a man?

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Darkness within a child.


Darkness within a worthless child. 
The pain of past mistakes displayed like images in a gallery
all can see
she throws them down like badges of honor
no one is ever free
not alone with her.
All are judged unfairly
no punishment too cruel or unusual 
no words too harsh
they cut like blades of grass blown in a tornado
the weak will parish and strong will learn
no words means no fuel
no fuel means no fire
no fire means maybe a moment of peace
until that day the flame burns brightly
casting out all the darkness
turning it within
until the end.
Sweet nothingness be mine
lover that you are
wrap me in your arms
so I can feel the embrace of something more
not as a child but a woman
not as a daughter but a mother
death shows more mercy than she who sha'll not be named
thank you sweet death
for all you will give to me when the darkness consumes.
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Bad Roommate

You're rude
You're loud

You don't care
Not at all

You keep it cold
Here in the room

I don't like your music
You're too strong for me


You don't consider my feelings any
You make me feel really small

I hate how you treat me sometimes
I feel like a bad little kid

Leave me alone and I you
I don't need you watching me

I take care of me
You don't need to care

I hate your attitude
You don't ever listen

You speak loudly
You never whiser

You suck
Grow up.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 4/19/09.  April Challenge Day 19: angry poem

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What "Is"

Happiness Is so dear

Happiness Is sincere

Happiness Is reckoning with G-D

Whom we all love and Fear

Sadness Is death

Sadness Is a breath

That sooner or later

Will reside no more

Anger Is a temporary state

Anger Is a part of us all

It Is a vicious animal

with too many lives

Pity Is for the good

Pity Is truly somthing that should

Be looked upon as a divine favor

For if not, what ever would....  

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is a very simple poem.  Maybe my first. I wrote this many years ago.  Although it is short and simple, one may still perceive the essence of its truth. These four feelings are a mainstay in our "human condition."  We all  have to come to terms with them when our personal development will be challenged from time to time.  To succeed as a human being, requires mastering and controlling them and learning to grow with them by sharing with others.  Only then, will we find true fullfilment and purpose in our existence.  

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Purging Dark

All I hear is hammers, nails

Strings from such an interface

Construction of the doorway

As I tear apart my transport.

And all I feel is anger

Directed to my core

At my rampant lacking

And at my loss of sight.

A wall of shining, cleansing white

That gathers dust to my left

Sans reflection, but it watches

While I steal a frequency.

And to this screen I speak,

Of all these senseless woes

While I'm losing money

Going sort of numb.

The pains of being pure of mind

Have faded since I've turned so sour

All good is gone, I devour

The dark that tends to cloud.

Fortune's glitter, passion's stain

The evening windows of a passing train

The feel of travel, the love of life

Things that I can't understand.

But now there is anger,

And lust for the fight

Not much else,

Not much to say.

So I try to purge,

In such ways I used to

And it isn't working,

And I'm not surprised.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Nothing's really gone well lately. Haven't written for some time. Don't really care for this new layout but, whatever.

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Now That the Truth Comes Out

Break Ups


What have I denied you

What'd I hold back

You know I just 

Don't like bein lied to

That's all I ask

But no, you didn't care

I promised passion

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