Broken heart. Lost love. Hate. discarded.

As Queens We Cry Out Loud...(Shequita Phillps & Evolution's of Poetry)

Folder: 
Collabrotions

(Shequita)
I am a woman first who's tears run down her face
tears of shame emptiness inside this cold heart of minds
just a woman who gives all her love to a man
only to feel like she is not worthy of his love
she feels guilt shame in this cycle of love
a woman that gives to much in love
only for her heart to be broken into pieces
shattered like glass torn up inside
this little heart of minds this love is like a fairy tale
I am a woman who gave this man
everything inside me only to find out
things that I didn't want to know that
were true that came to the light of me

(EOP)
I am a woman who`s soul has been through the rapture
The undying abyss we call life
The subject of loves rejections
Impaled through the heart
Broken
Alone
Totally confused
Wondering why I chose to love thee
Only to never receive the same
I am woman born to wear the scars
Burdened by my ancestor
Strong black queens of the night
We are taught to look life in the eye
Smile in his face
And never let him see you cry
But how do I hide this love I feel
When you make my soul ache
From just a mere glimpse of your face
Born and bread to stand by my man
Not a weak little punk
Thinking he will soon become a man

(Shequita)

A Strong black woman a queen of the knight
a woman who is in fear to open up her heart again to a man
a woman who will not let him see her cry
he will not think I am weak cause I love him so much
a woman who had a hard knock life growing up
from a little girl been molested by her stepfather and Uncle
Confused bout which way to go in life
Broken down
Abused
Physically
mentally
verbally
sexually
A woman who wears a shield around her heart for protection
and blocks her heart not letting anyone in to love
do to the fact she has been hurt all her childhood life
Now as a woman she releases all of her pain through her pen

(EOP)

My pen bleeds mountains of confusion
As my personification grows cold
As I have a burial For this hollow well
I call my soul
Tears flowing deep
As I overflow with frustrations
Intimidated by the reflections
I see with in my eyes
Whom am I
Do I know her
I can still hear her screams for help
Begging for someone to save her
Only to hear him laughing
Why is it me
Why do I deserve such love
As my broken soul cries
To find away out
My eyes swell with tears of repulsion
Free me please
I beg of you
To look at me and see
Beyond the broken hour glass
As my soul bleeds

(Shequita)

See beyond this inner child who has been hurt in so much pain
these tears fall down my face as I bleed out
my soul cries for love understanding
caring that unconditional love
pure true real love bliss
I look in the mirror and see my reflection as a woman
and as I look I see dat inner child broken free to pen all the feeling growing up
seeing how her life took a turn
from all the confusion in her life
slowly mending all the broken pieces
growing up

(EOP)

As woman so many of us face this distant struggle
Whether to love him or leave him
Before he kills us with his abusive temper
There is no more confusion
When I look into the mirror
It is your bitterness i see
So listen up Queens
We have been to the point of no return
Broken down by those who claimed to love us
Holding on to Gods unchanging hand
Is truly a blessing
So look into my eyes as I smile from the inside
No more tears to shed for that abused little girl is dead
Her pain has been transformed within me
Through my many years of struggle
Yes i am living outside your bubble
You can no longer hold me down
Try to control me or even kill me
Because everything that existed
Within me for you is now dead
For I heard my mother say
Hold your head up high child
We are the reason God continues to smile
As Queens we cry out loud

(c) 2012 Shequita Phillips & Cassandra Evolutionsofpoetry Covington

Forever Sadness

What is love?
Do we really know?
What's it made of,
How does it show?

I contemplate,
As of late,
of things I wish I knew.
Love and trust,
And life and lust.
But mostly, I just think of you.

I do not understand the world,
Or the things which lie within.
The mysteries I HAVE unfurled,
Have spread my patience thin.

I've tried and tried
To make things right.
But, do you even care?
I feel alone
and on my own.
But you are free from doubt?
Is it fair,
That I still care,
And you go on to scout,
for new love and life
Free of aches and strife?
And I am by myself?

I care for the wrong man,
Every time.
And No matter the case,
They are never truly mine.

Am I just a tissue,
Disposable and used?
Is THAT the issue?
That I'm damaged and bruised?

Please, I'm begging,
I've no one left.
The heart you stole,
Is no small theft.

Now, I am an empty house,
No creature within, not even a mouse.
I'm broken and hopeless and beaten up bad.
Maybe I'm meant to forever be sad.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Feeling somewhat hopeless at the moment...

Final End

I hate you with extreme intensity
Almost so bad it causes me great insanity
I say I don't want you
I'm telling you the truth when I say I'm through

I want you to leave me be
Go far far away
Why can't you see
My hearts not one you can sway
I've made up my mind
I know I seem crazy
Now I'm leaving you behind
But it's all for the best
I want to keep my sanity
And give my mind and heart a rest

You once were there for me
when I needed you the most
Now every day I doubt you remember me
I know now we are not close

You say I'm your best friend
I know that's a lie
I will hate you forever we are at an end
Something you and I cannot deny

You left me even when I needed you
You have been gone, and now your different from the person I once knew
I have only one thing to say to you
We are through

Dear Father...

To the father I never knew...I love you for being part of my 

creation, an erection that tames women with vibrations,

no longer exhaling but gasping for air...exactly the way you

treated women! exactly the way you played with my mother's 

heart!!

To the father I never knew...I hate that my smooth operating 

persona towards women is a genetically inherited bias trait

shadowing you-- fun and games at first, now that I'm older my

heart feels colder from the lack of pure love and overflow of 

lust...I must trust my mother's genes, that I could be a family 

loving person, like she is. Nowadays, I womanize but it's 

worthless...I long for a family!

To the father whom's name I was given---FUCK YOU! 

for playing with my mother's emotions, for casting the pain 

that was felt in our home for years, the pictures I saw of you

with your head cut-out show the pain of a women scorned and

a shattered heart.

In my youth I dwelled on the thought of searching for you, to see 

the face of the man I was becoming, yet, never wanted to be! 

Then I realize the evil of your deceit...you were married when 

you met my mother! What an ASSHOLE!! and for this only GOD

can forgive you!

I've questioned my actions in life, especially when it comes to loving

and appreciating love, I've doubted my heart to be able to embrace 

a women's heart without granter, even though, a part of you is me,

I won't become YOU!

The fact is half of me was created by a deceitful heart, my mother's 

loving heart is greater, rejecting deceit from flowing naturally through

my veins. 

I thank GOD for my father, a real man! My pain made me feel like a 

bastard at times, now I feel blessed to have him in my life...

To the father I never knew, I don't want to know you! If you're alive I 

wish you well, if your dead, may GOD have mercy upon your soul.

To all the dead beat father's in the world, I pray KARMA hovers over

you like a dark cloud in a stormy weather!!!

"Any man can pull his cock out and plant seeds, a real man will stand

next to his fruits and water them as they grow"--

Dear Father...Thank you!!! 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I am whom I am because of you, because of you I won't be whom you are or were!

View soulkritic's Full Portfolio

Doormat

 A doormat,

somehow the sweetest metaphor,

so apt

as a summary

for

capturing the entirety

of the way you made me feel

about me

 

I know  that nobody else is responsible

For an individual’s sadness,

although at times it seems incomprehensible

it is 100% inside

misery was just passing through,

 I allowed it to reside.

 

But sometimes it hurts too much…

We have too much to lose by doing the right thing

and we lose too much, and recover not enough

because what becomes of a human being’s ability to trust?

Something innately within us,

relatively protected by our guard,

Can we do something consciously to repair that?

Or is it buried too deep inside?

Does something now overwhelm, will it remain

A relentless unconscious instinct

Shielding so much pain

Never allowing robin redbreasts

To fly again

 

But what to talk of human beings?

To be discarded,

To feel worthless, disconnected, a second class...

Something inside me tells me I’m not worthy, that i'm not real, that i'm a farce

Will I ever see eye to eye?

Or will my gaze remain glazed

and far away so nobody can sense that all I really want to do is cry?

Occasionally tuning into shoulders, collars, and drain lids

I have the self esteem of donkeys, i'm less stable than balloons

 and as alone

as the moon

 

Will my mind ever be quiet,

will it let me rest?

It hurt so much to tell you goodbye,

Despite the unpleasant sensation, somehow the laws of logic

temporarily overcame

the laws of tragic infactuation,

 knowing it was for the best

will never take away the pain

and the agony

of the fact that I will never put my lips

upon your gentle left breast again.

 

The only peace that I can find

is when I somehow manage to remind

myself of that night I stood

At the peak of the earth,

witnessing the sheer endlessness of space,

the chill and I embraced, as I lay down shaken by mirth

The sky was on fire that night

As if two particles randomly collided

somehow giving birth

to something that seemed to make sense

despite the fact

That they had began so divided,

that it took so many instances and turns, events and counter-reactions

in chaos,

to make it happen

like it was always meant to happen

The odds must have been...

beyond fractions of decimals

As if everything exploded

in a chemical reaction,

in a silent harmony

that changed the sky forever

 

In the cold light I see,

the carelessly caused damage

that changed this guy forever.

 

But sadly for me,

You are not to blame

Yes, you collided into me

But I let you

View hey's Full Portfolio